I am married with kids and I continue to catch my husband cheating. I have never cheated out of the 20 some odd years. This time I found text messages. Oh baby I luv u. When can I see you. I felt like I got hit by a Mack truck....Once I reviel this info he will be all about me. What is my problem? Why haven't I left? He wants to buy a house and move. Is this good or bad? Do I need to find someone else so I can get over him? I feel so sorry for my kids. He is barely home now. Only to sleep. They probably won't see him at all.....Why me?????????? Please help.
2007-01-05 05:03:12 · 11 answers · asked by m e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WELL MY HUSBAND DID THE SAME,BUT I MADE HIM PAY AND HE DINOT EVEN KNOW IT WAS ME!
ANYWAYS,
I FOUND CHEATING MAKES THING EASIER,JUST FIND URSELFF A PLAYMATE N U WILL FORGET ABT HIM!
U DESERVE IT
2007-01-05 05:09:40 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First clear half the checking/savings.
2. Apply for temp custody of the kids.
3. File for a separation.
4. Move the hell out or kick him and his text messages to the curb and get on with your life.
5. Do something for you that does not involve a man, like therapy so you don't put up with this kind of crap ever again and can live a nice life.
6. Do not get into any relationships for at least a year, but preferably 18 months and only after your counselor says your head is screwed on straight.
7. Treat you and your kids with the respect you deserve.\
8. He will probably see his kids more as a divorced dad than a married one. Maybe the separation and being booted will snap his head around enough to keep his pants up when he's not home, but boot him a good year and know he's for sure going to be true before you go forgiving his stupid butt.
That's the gist of how this goes. I am so sorry he's a moron. I wish you and the kids the very best.
6.
2007-01-05 05:11:42 · answer #2 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but if you had an affair, expect to be punished for it forever and you are lucky he even took you back to be honest. You could have lost him forever, wouldn't that also count as a punishment? You two need to go to marriage counseling and hopefully this can be worked out. However, if all else fails, then a divorce may be necessary. Next time he threatens it, do not let it bother you. If he leaves, he leaves. If you get tired of it then just serve him with papers yourself. I really hope you two can reconcile and save the marriage, and well, you have to blame yourself for this for having the affair honestly. You can get free divorce papers online these days, hope it helps.
2016-03-29 09:07:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You take charge, since he has always been
cheating he should have to suffer not you. No you do not
need to find someone else because your children are
your priority now. Get legal help on child support from him
and seperate immediately. Once you have calmed your
self and have started the ball rolling put in for a divorce,
as it looks as if it's the only alternative for you.At this
point you don't even have to tell him what you are going
to do because he will probably not have the time to listen
as he will be cheating .
2007-01-05 14:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the only reason you haven't left is you fell into a comfort zone. Maybe you're a little bit afraid to go out on your own. And that's a normal reaction, especially after 20 plus years. Obviously he is a very selfish person, not caring about his wife, or especially his kids. He doesn't have a clue as to what he is missing. One day, all his cheating will catch up to him and he'll find himself on the outside looking in. He'll be a lonely man one day, with his kids not caring about him because he was not there for them. And then he'll see you've moved on with your life and then he'll realize what all he has lost. Just don't blame yourself for all his cheating. You know he will have a thousand reasons why he did. Don't listen to him. Talk to a lawyer for legal advise and finances, like alimony and child support.
2007-01-05 05:21:03 · answer #5 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as I'm all about sticking to your vows, it appears that one cannot stick to them alone.
You ask why you? And in all honesty, it's because you allow it. You DO NOT deserve it though. You deserve to be happy and loved and cherished, and hopefully you will find that.
You ask about the kids, your kids will see this as acceptable behavior if you allow your husband to get away with these kinds of things. Stand strong, read an inspirational novel, get your hair, nails, and toes done and get a massage. Make yourself feel good about yourself and then show this man what he's missing!!!
Moreover, remind yourself what YOU'VE been missing about yourself by allowing him to walk all over you all this time.
Good luck, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, I hope you have family around or good friends for support, cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
2007-01-05 08:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off do what is best for you and your kids . Kick him and his cheating behind out of the house and go file for seperation and custody of the kids . Tell him no contact and that he will hear from an attorney and that he had better not fight it or you will bring up the fact that he was cheating . They hate the fact to look like a fool in court. no dont go anywhere with him or buy a house with him. and who would want their kids to see their dad being a lowlife and yes that is what he is . Break it off completely you will be glad you did . good luck .
2007-01-05 05:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not the only one who have experienced this or in this situation. Although it wasnt me, but i heard a lot of real-life stories like this. Have you confronted him with this matter? Have you talked it out with him? Have you asked him to choose between you and his habit? Don't you think you deserve more respect than this? If you have talked it out with him and he doesnt change, then go ahead and have life without him. But make sure first that you have a career of job to support yourself. You don't need another womanizer in your life to get over w/ him, although I believe friendly dates and getting involved in group activities would help.
2007-01-05 05:17:05 · answer #8 · answered by mj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut your loses and leave. Walking out on 20 plus years is hard but you have to do what's best for YOU. GOOD LUCK.
2007-01-05 05:13:30 · answer #9 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not "find somebody else" just to get over him! You do not need him or any man. You should DEFINITELY leave!! You will find the right person eventually, probably when you are least expecting it. But please do yourself and your family a favor and GET OUT.
2007-01-05 05:35:35 · answer #10 · answered by danika1066 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, get out of that marriage ASAP. This man is obviously not who you need in your life. He is a cheater and he wont stop. He isnt going to stop because you stayed with him the whole time he was cheating instead of leaving him. Please, get out of that marriage. You need to find someone worth your time.
2007-01-05 05:59:10 · answer #11 · answered by young grown man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋