what do i do?

Question

my husband and i have been trying to have a baby but its hard cuz i just got off of depo. any ways we have this fights and we end up sleeping in seperate rooms and its horrible. Then there is this friends he has that keeps telling him to get a divorce from me then we have a fight again. we love eachother we just got married in july im 18 his 19. but what is it, is it frm us not having a baby yet what can it be? please help

Answer 1

I think that you are both putting too much pressure on the whole baby thing. I can understand your desire to have a baby but if you only got married in July then it has only been a while. I have been married 3 years and we still haven't managed to get pregnant.
Just enjoy getting used to being married for a while and you will most likely get pregnant when you are calm and happy than when you are anxious and upset.
Stop sleeping seperately. Make a promise to each other to always make up before bed time. Try to ignore what his friend says. It is mean and none of his business but the more you get upset with your husband about it the more he will be inclined to listen to him. Try to be nice everyday to your hubby and even if he is not so nice to you don't respond negatively. A man loves his wife because she is kind and caring not because she tries to make him love her. Love begets love. Marriage takes a while to settle into. you may have known each other well before (or so you thought) but marriage is a big eye opener. It is definitely about giving and making sacrifices. It is not about making sure your spouse meets your needs.However, he will in time, but as I said, because you are kind to him not because you demand it.
Work on making your marriage solid then you will be ready to be parents.
I am 34 and have had a turbulent marriage and I think that it is no accident that we have no kids yet. I am a Christian and I know that God is in control of all things. I asked Him not to give us children until we are stable enough to give it a secure home. I grew up in a home where my parents faught all the time and I was emotionally damaged because of it. Kids are a pleasure but they are also a big responsibility for us to give them the very best. We must ensure we can offer that to them. We cannot undo what is done to them in those early years that are so fundamental. In summary enjoy your marriage. Look for the positive things in your husband and tell him about them.

Answer 2

You should thank your lucky stars that you haven't gotten pregnant. You and your husband are too young to start a family. Live a little, first. Do some traveling, have some fun before you settle down with children. Besides that, with all of the fighting, you might not be suited for one another. Don't bring a child in the world under these conditions. Wait until you're really ready.

Answer 3

i think it's because you are both young and too immature to handle the relationship (don't be offended, i'm 19 and just had a baby and his sperm donor left me when i was 7 months pregnant, something i never thought would happen, and i wish i never met him because of this). a baby never makes a relationship better, it is always going to make it more stressful. keep that in mind, you have problems now, they will get much worse. and your husband is an idiot for listening to his friends. if they are that important to him then you need to get a divorce because you are not important to him. when you have a baby, does he think he's going to be able to go out with these so called friends? um, no. definitely not. life is not fun after you have a kid, it is all work. at least until the kid can watch themselves. if you want to continue the relationship with him you are going to have to go to counseling. but i think it's because you are too young.

i thought i was ready. boy, was i wrong.

Answer 4

I know you don't want to hear this...everyone else has said it..but they are all right...adding a baby to this situation would be bad. Take it from me honey, having kids young is not fun. It's really hard, I had my first baby at 17, it was the hardest thing I ever did, I don't regret it, but if I knew what I know now, I would of waited to have chidren. Money is the issue with kids, although it is not really important, it can't buy whats really important , you have to have it to take care of a baby. Diapers, wipes, formula, water, baby food, clothes, shoes, beds....everything girl! And as young as I was when I had him, made it really hard because I was a party girl! Not anymore! Thats one thing, after kids it's hard just to go out somewhere, you have to change the kids clothes, diapers, put shoes on, pack the diaper bag, put car seats in, make sure you have bottles, water, formula, binkis, blankets...pretty much there whole room has to go places when they are small babies. I'm not trying to lecture you, just save you a few years of sanity! Kids are great, but better to have them when you are stable in all areas of your life, financially, emotionally, all of it. Best of luck to you and your husband!

Answer 5

I agree with people above, a baby actually puts a lot more strain on the relationship then anything... because all your time goes to taking care of that baby and not your relationship. You are both still really young, I would work on the relationship first and wait to have a baby... wait until you are both mentally, emotionally, and financially stable.

Answer 6

Having a baby will NOT fix your problems!!!! I can't stress to you the importance of this fact. I married when I was young and I remeber having the same mind set. The children did NOT make things better. We are still together today and we are happy, but it was a long hard road. Having children made things sooooo much harder. Please don't have a child until you see that your marriage will work.

Answer 7

It takes time after getting off of depo. or birth control pills. Most Doctor will advise you that it just takes time for all this wear off of you being able to get pregnant. Some get pregnant right away and some it just takes a lot longer. Just ask your husband to not be mad at you , just keep trying, Lots of Luck To You.

Answer 8

A baby should never be brought into a relationship to "fix" it. When this happens, the child is usually the one to suffer. You have your whole life to have a kid. Don't rush it. Make sure that you and your husband are going to last. You're both very young and if he's listening to his friends, he's not mature to have a kid. The child deserves to have a father who is grown up and makes good choices.

Answer 9

You are 18 and 19 and want to have a baby??? You two can barely take of yourselves let alone a child. Grow up together and wait.......wait for 5-10 years.....you got married too young, IMO

Answer 10

PLEASE GO BACK ON THE DEPO!!! QUICK! Why in the world would you add a baby to this mess? Go to college. Get a great job. If you are still fighting, get a divorce. But whatever you do, do not have a baby! Go to pre-marital counseling and learn how to communicate and run your marriage. It is free through many places. You guys are doing your best, but you are terribly young. Slow down, please!