my usually sex mad partner of 18 years all of a sudden developed a water infection 3 months ago,since then he claims hi penis is still sore/not right and hasnt really wanted sex apart from a couple of times where it was over before it began!as far as i know he doesnt have time for an affair so i have ruled this out but you never know.how can i find out whats wrong with him without having to ask and maybe cause a row or bigger problem than it already is?he doesnt even seem to acknowledge anything is wrong!
2007-01-05 04:55:24 · 11 answers · asked by babe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could be he's worried about something else, or it could be that he's lost his confidence in his ability to "perform". This could have really been a shock to him and maybe he was even worried for a while that it was something worse than a water infection. Reassure him a lot, make sure he knows you love him very much, and be very kind, generous and non-judgmental. Don't accuse him of anything, as if he is just feeling upset about having his John Thomas go sick on him, this could just make him feel even worse and less confident, so you'll end up in a vicious circle.
Get him to talk as openly as possible. To do this he needs to feel confident that whatever he says you won't yell at him or be angry, in other words, he needs to know that you love him.
It may be that it really is still just a physical problem and so as a priority you should get him to see a doctor. Go with him to the surgery, and offer to go in with him if he wants to, but tell him it's OK if he prefers to talk to the doctor in private. It may be that he needs to say things to the doctor that he won't feel comfortable revealing with you sitting there.
2007-01-07 04:05:44 · answer #1 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no direction in life but forward. We tend to think that if we stay in one spot everything will turn out fine. That will never be true. If we don't keep moving forward we will miss what is most important to us as individuals "the discovery of our own lives and self"
No matter what happens (and we tend to always think the worst) we must satisfy that to which stops us so we can keep moving. With or without what we currently have doesn't really matter because there is so much more and different and better ahead.
With that said: Ask. Write it out in a letter if that is what's required to get your point and or question understood.
We all deserve answers, if someone isn't willing to explain than clearly we are not important enough. That's sad, we are all very important, more so to ourselves.
2007-01-05 05:15:28 · answer #2 · answered by NoAnswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats going on here doesn't anyone communicate anymore?
You said you have been with this man for 18 years, wake up.
Sit him down and make an appointment with a urologist for a complete workup. Many men have medical problems they can`t face. This could be a serious life threatening problem. So stop asking for advice here and consult you doctor.
2007-01-06 06:43:32 · answer #3 · answered by tonyflorida2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you not want to talk to him about this? Just ask. Maybe, if you can't just come right out and ask, you can just have a sex conversation, without asking what's wrong, and suggest some new ideas. Roleplaying. Stripping for each other. New positions. Well, you get the idea. Hopefully one of your suggestions will appeal to him.
2007-01-05 05:05:14 · answer #4 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well perhapsd from his point of view there is no problem so you have to sit down with him and have a heart to heart about this. Suggest sex therapy and see what he says. Maybe there is a problem but he just doesn't want to admot it or maybe its all in your head.
Whatever the reason you do need to sit down and talk about this because it wont go away it will get worse.
Good luck
2007-01-05 04:59:56 · answer #5 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really need to talk as this is playing on your mind let alone your sex life, tell him you have needs too and say you want to talk about it not argue, maybe he has something wrong but is embarrassed about it because a lot of men are, tell him if he can`t talk to you about it then he must see someone like a doctor or a councillor to try and put things back on track, if not only for you but for himself, good luck and i do hope it all works out for you both, xx
2007-01-05 05:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by MAD FEMALE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET HIM TO A DOCTOR,if he has been its time for a follow up!!
when you stumble after 18 years of walking you get a limp and it will take work to get over that limp
2007-01-05 05:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by gus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him to see his doctor.
2007-01-05 04:58:55 · answer #8 · answered by rusco21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is he does not care about your pleasure....
2007-01-05 07:02:21 · answer #9 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go doctors with him. Otherwise, he's cheating, no doubts!
2007-01-05 05:33:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋