How can i regain happyness?

Question

Ahh lately life has just sucked. I'm a very quiet guy who had an amazing girl friend for 18 months. When i left for college we had no idea how hard it would be. We broke up on good terms and she keeps telling me she still has hope but we both need to get used to our surroundings and regain identity. I loved being with her and I still can't stop thinking about her. I havn't talked to her over the phone or in person in over a month. I guess I can admitt I was totally too dependent on her. We spent everywaking moment together and both of us gave up our friends to be with each other. Very unhealthy. When I left for school we were both on our own and almost friendless. Being away from home on my own has really been hard for me. I'm very quiet and constantly over analize everything I say. I never used to be this unhappy. I loved living at home cuz it was a good place to come back to after a day at school. Now I'm on my own away from family and I feel lost and lonely. How can I improve

I have a very supportive family. My parents have been extremely supportive in this tough time for me. I'm just trying to figure out how a quiet guy like me can be happy out on his own. Since I broke with my girl friend I feel lost. I feel like I have no idea who I am or what I want in life. Everything has been black and white in life. I just want some color back. Maybe I'll get back with my girlfriend some time later on...who knows..summer....but if that's even possible I need to figure out who I am. I need to be a happy. I feel like I dont know how to talk to people. I feel like I'm lacking personality.....I'm not trying to be a winer..I haven't ever been this way. I've always been quiet and shy but I've never experienced this anxiety. I don't know what to do. I'm just looking for suggestions and help. Thanks for reading all this crap.

Answer 1

This is really a very good situation for you for several reasons. For one thing you have been given an opportunity to get over your addiction to this woman. A man being dependent upon a woman is never a good thing. Your woman will get tired of being your mother and dump you. You really need to gain some independence - financial, emotional, spiritual, physical. Until you are independent you should NOT get involved in a long-term relationship.

This woman has told you indirectly that she is willing to wait for you to get your stuff together. She sounds like a good woman and someone to fight for.

So get yourself independent - you can stand on your own two feet and don't need her for anything. Then you can come back to her - but there's something else that you need to remember.

Don't change yourself for her. Don't sell yourself out for what you perceive as "how she wants you to be." This is one of the worst things that a man can do in a relationship. She got together with you because of how you are or were at the time. That's the man she wants - if you start changing because of stuff she's telling you she will lose respect for you - she's testing you and she does want you to pass the test.

Good luck.

FP

Answer 2

It sounds to me that you are a really nice guy. I think that if you just be yourself you will not have any problems making friends. It's hard being the shy person in the crowd, I know because I was the same way. Now that I am a little older it's easier to be myself and not be so shy. You will get to that point too, probably sooner than later because you'll realize all the things you are missing out on by being shy. Good luck!!!!

Answer 3

Take St. John's Wart, get outside and just walk around the mall, drink some Starbucks and make some new friends. You will find love again for sure so don't worry. You sound like you just have classic depression symtoms. FYI you can get the St. John's Wart at you local health store or online. Start with about 1800mg a day and once it kicks in back off until you find what works for you. It takes about a week to kick in once you start. If that doesn't work see the doc. http://www.vitacost.com/productResults.aspx?submit.x=29&Ntk=products&csrc=PPCYAH-st._john-s_wort&submit.y=3&Ntt=st.%20john's%20wort

Answer 4

This world is called (Maya) and is temporary and full of misery. If we want to actually be happy we have to reconnect with our Creator also known as Krishna, Allah, Vishnu, Jehovah, Etc. Happiness in this life is flickering and never lasts, it is an illusion. If you want lasting unlimited happiness then the quickest way to reawaken our real natue and identity is to chant the Maha Mantra (the great mantra for deliverance from suffering and illusion) go to krishnaculture. for details and read Bhagavad Gita as it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada- Which Gives the meaning and prupose to human life. One can chant and quickly become truly happy even in this world of illusion. See DVD The Trueman show with Jim Carry to get an Idea of what I mean by illusion.