I've only been married one year and the lies started immediately. There were also hidden agenda's and anger issues. It's culmintated in a gross impact on my career. There's been great strides in gaining self awareness by my spouse through a separation and intensive counseling, but when is enough, enough?
2007-01-05 04:20:29 · 9 answers · asked by M D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The good news is, YOU get to decide when enough is enough. No matter what anyone says, its up to you.
2007-01-05 04:23:36 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
About.com has a ton of amazing articles I have been using, about trust issues, secrets in marriage and regaining trust. I am quoting a few things, but you should read all the articles yourself.
Tips:
1. Recognize that rebuilding trust takes time. It won't happen over night.
2. It's OK to remember the incidents and the betrayal. You may not forget it, but the pain will eventually go away.
3. Be aware of your feelings.
Trust is a Decision
Romance and the whole valentine scene should be a daily event in marriage and not just a yearly thing! Without trust in a relationship, there is no romance and there is no Valentine's Day - ever.
Top 9 Ways to Deal With Betrayal
-Face your feelings
-Take Care of yourself
-Communicate
-Dont be Mistrustful of Everyone
_trust yourself
-Make a decision to work through or quit
-Let go of the Anger
-Move on with your life
-last but not least....grieve.
2007-01-05 04:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are deciding to stay with your partner than there is no enough. Yes you do have to think about yourself in the matter and not be manipulated.but you are now married not dating. Don't think about rebuilding. You need to start over. There needs to be set boundaries and open communication. Lies should be the first thing out the door.
Marriage is hard work.It is one of the most difficult thing to be successful in. It is normal for marriage to have this kind of reaction on someone.You both need to make a true decision to stay together and leave old behaviors behind.As you can see marriage takes alot of strength.You have spent a year with the negative side,if there is any hope spend the rest of your life on the positive and stick it out.It wont be easy but there are rewards and benefits.
2007-01-05 05:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by fabulosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you should do is apologize to your wife. A bachelorette party for the bride to be is not a license to cheat. Most times the girls go as a group to a bar and have a few drinks, maybe something like karaoke. If you don't stop being so controlling and a bully, she is going to leave you. No woman wants to live under the thumb of a man that doesn't trust her. If you have no reason to feel this way, apologize today and tell her you are very sorry for doubting her. If not, then maybe you two should go your separate ways.
2016-03-14 01:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one. It is really hard to regain trust after it has been lost, but not impossible. I had been married one year when I found out some terrible things about my ex-husband. I felt like a fool, because I had opened up and told him everything. I felt this was the only way to have a good marriage. After we married I found out his secret, he told me that he was afraid that if I knew about it before I would not have married him. My answer was to say, "I don't know, you took my choices away and my rights". We went to three different counselors, but I am afraid nothing helped. I have since remarried and my husband knows about my marriage and the reason for the break up, it has been hard, but not impossible to regain my trust in marriage and men. My husband's love for me and understanding has helped in so many ways.
2007-01-05 04:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn't want to help find a solution? How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own? Learn here https://tr.im/70Uf7
It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.
2016-02-11 04:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rebuilding and restoration starts with Forgiveness.
While forgiveness does not always come easy for us, it is possible.
When you consider the depth and the meaning of Grace. The truth is that while we are all imperfect.
God sent his only Son to die on our behalf so that we maybe found blameless with him. Do any of us deserve "forgiveness" No not in human terms. The beauty of Grace is that is freely available to ALL no matter what we have done.
Walk in the understanding of Grace in all of your relationships. Forgive much because you have been forgiving much.
When is enough? Start with Forgiveing 7 x 70 "daily"
2007-01-05 04:43:37 · answer #7 · answered by Friend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To rebuild trust and respect, one must first realize they're the one who caused the damage, then be willing to repair the damage, by proving themselves to be trustworthy and respectable... in other words>>> the hidden agenda's and lies would have to stop, in order to show proof, in order to gain self-betterment and/or to better the relationship.
Enough is enough, when you know that you know, that you KNOW... that you can NOT take it any more.
2007-01-05 04:33:14 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough is enough when your partner doesn't seem important to you any more. Enough is not enough when you let pride in the way of love. Enough is not enough when your career seems more important than what you feel for him, enough is enough when you couldn't care less for him.
2007-01-05 04:32:01 · answer #9 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have to ask 'when is enough, enough', it's time to leave. You can't rebuild that.
2007-01-05 04:26:17 · answer #10 · answered by xquis81 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋