Honest Opinion on Song Lyrics?

Question

Can anyone please judge my song lyrics, tell me honestly how you feel about them. Please take a look at the links below

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/46014258/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/46013999/

Answer 1

Bring a musician myself maybe i qualify to answer this question so here goes. Your writing skills are very good in the descriptive sense however the lyrics seem to be a little disconected as far as theme goes. If this is a rap song it doesn't matter that much I suppose and as far as that goes a lot of hit songs have the same disconection. Your lyrics are your own and apperently are heart felt which is a quality of sucess ,so you go and good luck.

Answer 2

Actually I quite liked it. I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was particularly effective. Interesting rhythmic devices too, which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the humanity of the poet's compassionate soul, which contrives through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other and one is left with a profound and vivid insight into whatever it was the poem is about!

Answer 3

Sorry buddy, those are just poems until they are put to songs. Anybody can write poems. You are pretty good at it. Now put it to song in order for you to refer to them as song lyrics, it is a very hard thing to do.

Answer 4

Nice nice