i have a problem with speaking in front of my peers and saying wht i really mean. i am a 14 year old girl but learn 5 languages (english is not my native language), go on all sorts of competitions and read books very advanced considering my age. i am proud of who i am and really dont find it essential to be accepted among my class mates, i get enough approval from people i value much more. i think the problem is me not fitting into the image of the person i think would be popular among them, but i would despise myself if i would be that person! i know its sort of contradictory but i really think its the problem. also, i feel extremely uncomfortable doing things that would not fit into the image that i fear my class mates might have (a dork), although i find it rather unlikely that they should think so.
i hope this wasnt too boring for you to read.
all advice welcome.
p.s. i saw the school psychologist but it was a waste of time.
i dont have a best friend, nor did i ever have one.
2007-01-05 04:06:58 · 6 answers · asked by someone 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You shouldn't have to "fit in" to anyones idea of what to be ... being yourself is good enough, once you get out of school the whole "dork" thing starts to lose value .... rather quickly. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable talking to people ... it is after all how you will connect with people all your life whether it be in business or as a social meeting. So don't look to shy away from conversation ... say little and if you feel the person or people are not responding then no harm and you can move on. But if you never look to find "common interests" with any person you could end up fearing or dismissing some people who would find your company very interesting. I know your fourteen and you write very well ... so you'll be finding your way in no time. Just be yourself and know it's ok to let others hear who you are ... there are always others out there who think and feel the same way ... and the only way to find them is to talk to them.
2007-01-05 04:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by Chele 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I had a similar situation. Sounds like your interests and background are more mature than your sheltered contemporaries. What I did was hang with people that were older, but I could not really do that until I got to high school. The problem for now is your age. 14 is kinda young to hang with high-school age people or older. But as you get older, you will find your way easier.
Something that may offer you some options may be taking some kind of enrichment classes from a local college, or private program in some creative thing you like like the arts or writing. Get into the social newspapers in your area and find some kind of class, club, or hobby to get involved with that will enable you to mingle with some older people in a way that works, and that meets your need to have fuller expression in life.
You may even look into being a docent at a local museum. As a multi-lingual, if you are confident, you could lead tours to a multitude of cultures.
2007-01-05 12:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem might be socialization. In my opinion, you are obviously very smart and intellectually mature, but lack some social skills. You probably don't socialize too much with people (children) of your age. Perhaps you think that you don't have any common topics to discuss about. Do you believe yourself to be more mature than them? Do you feel like you always have a need to know if they are good enough for you, like they wouldn't understand you, or have a more 'limited' view on the world and things that surround you?
If so, I'd say that the problem (if we could call it a problem) is in you. Maybe I'm just wrong with all this, but I think you should have a more relaxed approach and find a good friend of your age to talk too. Of course, this might seem hard to you, but if you were willing to talk about this 'problem', i believe you would be willing to find a solution for it.
Best of luck.
2007-01-05 12:38:08 · answer #3 · answered by Darko R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a phase, either a good or a bad patch.You seem to be unecessarily apprehensive about your class-mates. Take life easy and cool.Begin with formal socialization of the hi-bye type.You should come out this phase. sooner or later.
2007-01-05 12:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by debussyyee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to the people that are closest to you (loved ones) especially if you dont have a best friend. I doubt that Yahoo! Answerers will know what exactly to do, because we kinda have to know you to help you out with this one..........
2007-01-05 12:15:59 · answer #5 · answered by SwissMiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be yourself...and only yourself...belive
2007-01-05 12:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by parkituse j 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋