I don't know where to start so here go`s. I'm 18 years old unemployed and live at home with my parents And i feel like i have nothing to live for (I'm very lonely). And depressed and always have been for as long as i can remember do to my troubled past----child abused, went threw 9 family member deaths, bad experience threw out my school years....and so on and so forth. Ive never had a girl friend and never plain to because i feel as thought girls think I'm nothing more then a loser and they don't want to have to deal with the emotional baggage. I have no social life and the few friend i do have look at me as the loser friends that ant going no where in life. I get very jealous of the way they live (blown up myspace, beautifully women, confident). I guess what I'm trying to ask is how can i be just a fraction of what those guys are. I'm not good looking and i have social anxiety so is there any hope for a guy like me or should i just completely shut myself down(if you know what i mean)
2007-01-05 04:04:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You shouldn't try to be like them, just try to get out of your shell and be who YOU are destined to be.
I can see that you get jealous because of the attention they get but you don't have to be the best looking guy or the smartest or whatever to get attention. It's easy to make friends in school so you should probably plan to go to a college or continue your HS education. That's something I plan to do...I know how you feel, I think I'm going through the same thing especially since HS is coming to a close (at the end of the month) for me and I won't be able to go to college until the fall.
2007-01-05 04:07:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like life has dealt you a pretty shitty hand in cards. But you have to realize that you are not the only person that has had bad things happen to them and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe you can join some club or sports group to meet other people who have similiar interests to yours. That way you'd be meeting new people and may befriend some of them. It would also be helpful if you could start to believe in yourself a bit more positivly and if you need to attend a therapist to help you with this and some of the things that has happened in your past then do so. Life is not always fair I'm afraid to say and as you age and mature you will find this out more and more. Try going out and getting yourself a job also and that is another great way to start feeling better about yourself and meeting new people. When your ready you can always return to school and continue the education that you've missed and perhaps get a career your interested in. Best of luck to you and trust me when I say as you age things will be more even as far as being on the same playing field as those that you are currently looking up too.
2007-01-05 12:15:19 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To start get a job. Whenever I was jobless I felt like a bum, and when I got one my self esteem would go up. Having money in your pocket that you earn makes you feel better. Also at the job you can meet new people. Don't always think about the past and try to think of the good things that you have. Don't always think that your life is so bad because someone always has it worse than you. Be thankful that you have a loving family that sounds like they are there for you. And about girls, just man up and talk to them. What's the worst that can happen? Making your life better can be done by the choices that you make. Everyone gets stuck in a whole sometimes in life and only you can bring yourself out. Good Luck! :)
2007-01-05 12:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by kaci_princess23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a girl but I know how you feel. You have to find out what makes you happy and stick with it. Don't try to live up to being someone your not. So what if the whole world doesn't like you. You have to like YOU. If you want to be a certain way then work toward it by starting with small goals. I have been physically, sexually, mentally and socially abused for 18 years of my life. It is hard to gain self confidence, but like I said start small. As far as looking for a girl, don't look. Looking when your lonely only leads to desperation and you'll end up disappointed. Be yourself, work on gaining skills you need and in no time a fine young lass will be headed your way..good luck
2007-01-05 12:09:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. You were born for a reason, you just have to discover it yet. Don't you find it a bit thrilling to start your quest to find out what that is?
2. Nobody, and i mean NOBODY can make you feel a lesser person, unless you allow them to, so here's a starting point for you. You have your body, your mind, a roof and food on your table, right? It doesn't matter if you have a job or not, what matters is that you are not in the streets now (you even have internet, see?). So, why don't you open your eyes and see how lucky you are?
3. Start smiling, even if you have to fake it in the beginning. People, girls especially, don't want to be around sad faces.
4. You are going to go in life exactly where you want to go, and there's nothing that can change that.
So i guess what it all comes down to, is you. You have the power to do with your life what you want to do with it. You are the only one who can change it, but nothing's gonna change if you just stay there sitting feeling sorry for yourself.
I wish you all the good luck in the world, but hey, START doing something!
2007-01-05 12:11:58 · answer #5 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK dude, here is the deal. It turns out that most people in the world are complete idiots so there is no reason to emulate them or compare your life to them in anyway. Eventually you will realize this on your own. Second, forget about you past. Everyone has had shitty stuff happen to them in the past, no one has led a perfect life. If you keep blaming all your problems on you childhood and things that were out of your control your life will never, ever amount to anything. Start right now today with a new way of thinking, always remember that no matter wht happened to you things could be alot worse and things are alot worse for other people. Email me if you are having issues still.
2007-01-05 12:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by e_schwag 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know yet but just around the corner there is a wonderful, beautiful girl just waiting for you. You are totally cheating yourself out of your very own time to live. You were already born and you've only lived a little while. You have so much time. The way you think is special.So young you want to be already so successful. I think and I feel , you will be. Start off living in the right now. You have to die someday, so leave it to that. in the meantime go for it, whatever you want. You want to not loose your sensitivity, that's what you have that most do not. Please find a place to think and pray to God. Take care of your mom and the other stuff that happens is your life.Be thankful. You are not challenged like many people in the world just like a few. Stand up and be counted, no one is better than you in reality.
It's in your head, you've created your own prison, as have I and a trillion others. We simply must get out of our comfort zone and dwell amongst the living. As I write I wish to take part in my own advise, which is not really advise but truths...
2007-01-05 12:17:44 · answer #7 · answered by lee f 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear that you feel that way. Life is way to short to be filled with such self doubt. There has to be something that you like about yourself, You sound like a nice guy. I think that you should maybe talk to someone about what has gone on in your life , try to figure out how to move forward. There is no shame in talking to a professional about this, So many people do. If you know anybody who has a baby, that always helps. I know a guy around your age who is very withdrawn, He never wants to leave the house ( he still lives with his parents too) He has way to much self doubt, anyways when he is around my children (one is 4 and the other is 4 months) He snaps out of it. Babies make everything seem to be OK. Babies make you realize that not everything is bad and that there is hope. Good Luck.
2007-01-05 12:14:21 · answer #8 · answered by beaner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young and have soo much going for you, more than you know - dont try to be like anyone else but urself, 4get what other ppl say of you and what they think - all that matters is what u think...you just need a little more self confidence.
You should go out and find a job so that you can meet more ppl and prove to everyone that you are somebody - dont be soo depressed...and trust me there is someone for everyone - even the fat, sloppy, nasty looking man at my job has a girlfriend soo im sure you have chances
Good luck, and cheer up
2007-01-05 12:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Motivation is the result of the interaction of the individual and the situation.
Motivation is defined as the processes that accounts for an individual's intensity, direction, and persistence of effort toward attaining a goal.
Intensity is concerned with how hard a person tries...
High intensity is unlikely to lead to a favorable outcome unless the effort is channeled in a DIRECTION that benefits you or others...depends on the goal and the situation...the quality of effort is important within the intensity...
Persistance is a measurement of how long a person can maintain their effort...sometimes certain things motivate us for longer periods of time than others, obviously. You have to get off your keester...think about a goal that you want or desire to attain...and go for it. Get out of the house...get a job...go to college..something. These will lead to other things in life that will make you happier.
Don't be afraid--life is too short. People who are DOG BUTT UGLY have been able to obtain lovers and keep them. You want a lover? Think about what you need to do (work on your personality assets--work ethic, jokes, socialization skills...hygene--romance skills---read up on them!) to make yourself a happier person. Its not ever easy. No insta-fix here and it always needs to be maintained. But, if you maintain it...get out and about, it becomes easier as it goes, to the point of being second nature.
Respect women...adore them and make them feel adored, and you might just be surprised. Again, life is just too dang short to be a hermit.
2007-01-05 12:16:43 · answer #10 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋