My younger brother has taken to fraternising with a particular group of people called 'Goths'. These goths encourage him to wear rather depressing apparel and equally macarbe make-up. Additionally, they have 'enlightened' him to the fact that he doesn't really exist and that 'nothing is real'. I think this is nonsense and I have told him so. I gave him some examples of things that are real, such as towels, cats and Picadilly Circus. He retorted by saying that I am 'part of a machine'. How can I let him know that this way of life will do him no favours in securing a job one day, and that he just looks depressing?
2007-01-05 04:02:57 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
it's a phase, hopefully he will grow out of it before hes turns 30
2007-01-05 04:05:56 · answer #1 · answered by SoccerBoi 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think there is absolutly nothing wrong with the dark clothes, but the make up is going a little far. I used to be "goth" but not by todays standards. How old is he? It's more than likely just a phase because he may not feel accepted by anyone else and this group accepts him. Or, more importantly, maybe it's not a phase and he is being his true self. Either way, I believe you should leave him alone and let him find himself. It is not your position, even as his brother, to assist him in finding his true self. Let him be and he will figure things out for himself.
2007-01-05 04:08:40 · answer #2 · answered by asedwards21 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't! Let him live is life how he likes. Besides if your into philosophy you can only prove you exist nothing else.
"cogito ergo sum" = I think therefore I exist.
A study was once published in the UK, in one of the leading newspapers it may have been the Guardian that said Goths end up getting successfully and high paid jobs.
Also, a group of goths does not make a cult, no more then football fans make a cult.
2007-01-05 04:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by Keiko 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully he’s just going through a phase and he’ll get over it before he finishes high school. I agree... it’s really important that he realizes that what he does today (in high school/ school) will affect his future tomorrow.
I hope he gets over his phase, or finds something productive to do with it
... HOWEVER...
Are you and your brother completely opposite from each other?
If so, why do you think that is?
Maybe he hasn’t gotten enough influence from the right people... you? parental figures?
"Some Goths do what they do just to be seen and to be heard." - Angel Rivera
Maybe he just needs someone to listen to him and spend some time with him; to give him that proper influence before he gets in too deep.
I know that sounds like an after-school special, but in a lot of cases this is true.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the goth trend... as with any trend (emo, rock, skater, etc. etc.), so long as the focus is on fashion, art, music, etc. and no one gets hurt.
“...only fairly small numbers of young people identify as belonging to the goth subculture, rates of self-harm and attempted suicide are very high among this group.” - Robert Young
Maybe you should take some time to educate yourself on what he’s into (you seem to have a really good start as it is). The story of the origin of “goth” is actually quite interesting.
Check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goth
Plus, when you know more about what you’re dealing with, you’ll have more “amo” to shoot at him; show him the negative sides to what he’s into but don’t focus on that. You must avoid insulting him... that will only make things worse.
“...you can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar...”
So when you do speak to him:
keep an open mind
and have an open heart
try to put yourself in his shoes...
.pEace.
2007-01-05 06:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by ...Tell Me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The "Goth" lifestyle is particularly attractive to teens as it tends to reflect their disillusionment with the world.
As long as he does not harm himself or others I can see no harm in this.
Also, if you ridicule him then it will only reinforce his current belief.
I would not consider this a problem for his pursuit of a career. I would think that he will grow out of this phase before he has to seek employment, and I can't see any potential future employer turning him down for a job because he used to be a goth when he was younger.
2007-01-05 04:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by barrytabrah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as these Goths are more about wearing black and looking different than they are about doing any harm to themselves or others, it's probably just a phase that won't really hurt your brother's future as long as he snaps out of it as he matures. Goths usually aren't a cult, per se. Try to check into what they do as opposed to how they look or their catch phrases, because most of that is just to set themselves apart from the mainstream. It may be enough that he knows you think it's all nonsense -- but be sure that he knows you don't think less of HIM and that you love him all the same.
2007-01-05 04:07:47 · answer #6 · answered by Rvn 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He'll grow out of it - it's a rite of passage - dont you remember the teds, the mods and rockers, the hippies,the punks, the goths were there too. You can be there for him as the older sibling but it's for him to grow up in his own way, interfering too much will cause resentment and make him even more determined to 'scare' you with his chosen group, a group he currently identifies with. Really, he will wean himself off them eventually. We all do in the end.
2007-01-05 05:38:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old is he? i went through the goth thing when i was younger, about 14 i think and i grew out of it in time, hes probably just expermenting with looks and trying to make new friends. i didnt go as far as thinking nothing was real or anything of the sorts though. i bet he hates christmas and birthdays and things like that 2? its just a phase. trust me!
2007-01-05 04:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by caz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't dissuade him from doing it as it will just make it worse and he will just stay because he's being told not too. If it is what he wants to believe he will stay but it could just be a phase that he grows out of, my nephew was once part of a goth group but eventually came out of it.
2007-01-05 04:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by agius1520 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
goths and makeup on men is strange to any average person no matter where he lives or believes but it doesn't mean your brother joined a cult .i understand what you're going through and i know you feel bad , but it could've been worse like comitting a crime or harming oneself.
try keeping him busy with activities he will enjoy, esp if it includes moderate religious ppl, from your faith, he has to see his ppl , you should try being subtle but show him that you care.
i think you should avoid lengthy discussions because it sounds like your brother is trying to rebel, and any pressure will be sure to get him to backfire.
you have to keep an eye on him that he's not doing anything harmful or illegal , you want to keep him safe and you also want him to get a good education and future.
seek help from your parents/ grandparents/ other adults as long as they are sensible.you want your brother to feel he has a family to turn to and his place is among you. he has to feel good about himself just don't do anything harsh it will backfire and that's not good.
good luck with your brother.
2007-01-05 04:25:40 · answer #10 · answered by sweet tooth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-19 09:22:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋