Well, I moved to Europe from Africa two years ago and since then haven't had the courage to go out and mix or find a friend
2007-01-05 03:47:09 · 12 answers · asked by Lwangi 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
find out what is the reason of lost self esteem , what stopping you to make friend or mix with pepole.
it has nothing to do with courage.....
2007-01-05 03:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by rockstar_superstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To have friends. you must be a friend. It's a frame of mind. Also, I relocated recently, I can tell you that one of the things that I had to work on was ridding myself of the "them/me/us" syndrome. I was an outsider and I felt like one. I was a Yankee entering a Confederate state. I had some preconceived perceptions to rid myself of and once I did, I started to interact with a couple of people. Well, let me tell ya, I was/am also a new homeowner and I came to need my neighbors more than I ever thought I would. Also, I try to be genuinely helpful and neighborly to them as well. Interestingly, I am a verrrrrrrrrry shy person. So this was not the easiest thing to do.
Is there a language barrier? Do you feel at all self-conscious about the accent differences?
How to counter accents? Easy! I remember the first time a southerner told me that I sound funny, I thought that was hilarious. 'Heeeeeey, I had a radio program back home and I sound funny?!?!?!' OMG...
Then I thought about it, to the natives here I probably do sound funny. (I got over myself quickly...lol)
Just imagine that your new European friends/neighbors would sound funny to your folks 'back home;, too and get past it.
I think it's like anythng else that one might find difficult, I like NIKE's expression the best - just do it.
Also, maintain contact with the folks waaaaaay back home. It doesn't have to be an either/or, imagine this you can have the best of both worlds, the new and the familiar. Take care! Enjoy! Relish the opportunity and make the best of it!
BOOK SUGGESTION: Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influencing People (I think that's the name of the book).
I read it years ago on the advice of a caring supervisor. I remain glad that he did that for me.
2007-01-05 04:10:48 · answer #2 · answered by TygerLily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u basically have 2 options:
1.dont do anything...and regret it. or
2. go out there, be the best you can be...and MAYBE regret it.
with the first option, forever living with regret is really your only outcome. with the second choice, if u fail, well ok, there are millions of people in africa. you shouldnt be forced to live under a rock because maybe one person doesnt get along with you. plus with the second option, you have a 50/50 chance of accomplishing something. with the first option, its basically you've failed yourself by just sitting around and thinking about what will happen. ive been in ur situation. not exactly the same porblem, but similar issue. and i learned that things aint gunna happen for themselves. just take a deep breath, and jump right into it. if u succeed, congrats. if not, then u can at least be proud of yourself for trying. then u can plan a new stratagy and try again later.
this is all just my personal advise, what u think of it and what u do about it is up to you. you can lead the horse to the water but u cant make it drink. so i wish u the best of luck
2007-01-05 04:09:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's not a self esteem issue i don't think! You just need to say to yourself. . ."I want a friend, I'm going to do it!" Nothing bad will happen! Nothing good will happen either if you don't try! So have fun, maybe find a place that people your age hang out and go there one night!/or day! Walk up to a random person and say HI! LOL I've done that before on the first day at a new school and now she's my best friend!
2007-01-05 03:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That became very impolite to make relaxing of you. To hel pfind your self esteem i imagine you should imagine of all the forged issues about your self, and that i'm particular there are various solid features in you, so basically imagine of all them and dont difficulty about what human beings says
2016-10-16 23:39:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a little bit of homesickness. Moving to a new place, out of your comfort zone, can affect anyone and it can take a while to adjust to a new lifestyle. Be proud of yourself. It takes a lot of courage to move to a new country. What's helping me is language classes and joining some expat groups where I can meet people in similar situations. Out of curiosity, which country did you move to? Best of luck.
2007-01-05 03:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by menina0908 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who have self esteem do not think about self esteem and do not talk about self esteem. So step one is to quit obsessing about self esteem and be an adult.
2007-01-05 03:54:19 · answer #7 · answered by KevinStud99 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you must have some hobbies you like, so you can join classes at college or community halls and speak to people with similar interests
2007-01-05 03:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by tra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well!.....i think it's just a matter of starting .......
don't just worry ...just make an attempt even if you have to act for the first time.......it'll open you up.....i am sure you will ragain your self esteem and will make a nice friend........it's just a matter of time.....
2007-01-05 03:52:11 · answer #9 · answered by nav_nav2000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try acting, it's a great way to meet people.
2007-01-05 04:20:19 · answer #10 · answered by Soundjata 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋