My good friend, who happens to be my neighbor, seems to forget I have 2 kids?

Question

My son is 12 and his Dad and I are divorced. He goes back and forth between our homes, and is much older than my friend's kids, so I can understand that he may not be "top-of-mind" with her, but it bothers me that she remembers to get my daughter, who is the same age as her youngest, birthday presents and Christmas presents, but doesn't do the same for my oldest. I'm not sure if my son notices, or even cares, but it bothers me. My questions are 1) would it bother you? and, if so, 2) how would you handle it?

Yes, I buy gifts for both her kids' birthdays (she bought for my daughter's b-day, but not my son's), but didn't get them anything for Christmas this year, since we didn't do gifts last year, I thought that was the protocol. It was a nice gesture from her, I just wish if she was going to go there, that she would do it for both kids.

Answer 1

It probably does bother your young son as well inside whether he says anything or not. I would talk with both my next door neighbour and let her know that you find it to be a bit ignorant and/or embarassing and that if she wants to buy for one of your children then she will have to buy for both. It may be just that she doesn't think of it as he isn't that involved in playing with her children or whatever. But if she is that close of a friend then I am sure that she will be open to what you have to say and probably begin getting something small for your boy also. Perhaps you should also talk with your son and ask how he feels about not receiving gifts when his sister does. Checking in on kids feelings is important. He may say that it doesn't bother him at all or he may say that it doesn't matter. Providing you discuss this issue with him he will at least feel that he is being considered and feel validated for his feelings. Best of luck and I'm certain you'll be able to resolve this with your neighbour providing you approach her with your feelings.

Answer 2

If your son doesn't mind, it's probably not a big deal. Your friend probably finds it more appropriate to buy presents for a child she can relate to. If you are really bothered by it, you should talk to your friend, but don't come across like you want her to buy extra presents for a member of your family (it will make you sound greedy and/or ungrateful). If it comes down to it, have your friend stop buying presents for your daughter as well, so it will be fair.

Answer 3

Maybe she thinks he is too old or maybe its because she is the same age as hers. Do you do the same in return? I don't really think that she is trying or is hurting anyone. i think that is is very nice of her to do at all. and how does your son feel/ has he mentioned it or is it you that it bothers?

Answer 4

if that happened to me, yeah it bothers me cos i dun wan my son to think that he is not fancied. mayb u can invite ur neighbour to ur son bday parties n she'll remember it nex time. but as long as ur son din bother much, then it's ok. a 12 year-old can b very understanding :)

Answer 5

Your Son KNOWS and He Notices......If you have so has HE!!!! Children maybe children but they aren't stupid......Stop recieving the gifts and tell her why????? Stand up for your SON!!!!! He will Notice where his heart is with his mom PROTECTED and Secure.

Answer 6

Talk to your ex. It is up to him not her to make sure that his son gets a gift.

Answer 7

Do not let it worry you. Girls are a lot easier to buy for anyway. It's really not that big of a deal. Let it go.

Answer 8

she might not realize it hurts you. maybe she gives to the younger cuz it easer to buy gifts for the younger since she has one too. forget it.

Answer 9

Just let it go girl.