My wife's self-esteem is very low. I assume that because she has to have the attention of men all of the time. She has cheated on me a number times. I think that she is incapable of love. I forgave her twice for cheating. and she still does it again. She cheated on her first husband as well. Is it me or does she not understand the meaning of love and committment.
2007-01-05 03:14:41 · 18 answers · asked by ted j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ted...have you ever considered that the one with the real self esteem issues here is YOU? you cant feel good about yourself or your manhood to allow this woman to constantly cheat on you and expose you to all kinds of health risks and possibly even death....if YOU understood the true meaning of love and commitment you would give this woman her walking papers...i am sorry and i know that's not what you wanted to hear here but the sad truth is that she is only doing what YOU allow her to do...good luck
2007-01-05 03:19:13 · answer #1 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think some people, like your wife, do have low self-esteem and, because of that, constantly feel the need to be validated, hence the constant cheating. It isn't gender based at all.
She clearly has some issues going on as regards commiting to one person. Has she tried counselling? If she hasn't, it would be a good way for her and you to figure out what is going on. You also might need counselling in so far as you probably are wondering whether it is worth it to stay and sort out this problem or cut your losses.
Good luck
2007-01-05 03:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women are feeling a void deep down within, that may be childhood related. Although you give her everything you possibly can, she needs to fill this void. She needs the attention of men and gets bored with the same relationship, so she cheats. It's a psychological thing caused by some trauma she had earlier in her life.
2007-01-05 03:20:28 · answer #3 · answered by Teddy Bear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IMO people cheat because they are scared of getting close to someone and getting hurt. Their motives are selfish but they feel that it is justified. It is a self-esteem issue. Something is going on internally with her.
I'm not incapable of being love or being in love. Also, what's wrong with your self-esteem that you're allowing her to treat you like this?
2007-01-05 03:22:41 · answer #4 · answered by gloried 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she does have a low self worth, maybe she has been hurt in her past, maybe it's time to set some boundaries with her, explain to her how it hurts u, and that you can't deal with her cheating anymore,she needs to seek some therapy she needs to own what she has done, and put herself in your shoes, and feel what u are feeling. and if she fails to show remorse, or even be sorry than chances are she won't be able to change, not until she is the one who is hurt, or she is the one who looses something as a result of her actions. she thrives on this attention it feeds her ego, it may not be that she doesn't love u, but that when she is receiving all this attention she feels good about herself. she doesn't love herself, if she was only able to see that these men don't define her self worth, that her self worth lies in side, and can only secede if she gives all this nonsense up. she feels that it is real what she is feeling, but its only a fix, a temporary fix for her pain.
2007-01-05 03:26:51 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off what she is doing is totally wrong and you should not take that kind of treatment. Has she had her father in her life or has she ever been molested or raped sometimes those factors can make he crave attention from men. My motto is once a dog always a dog and you need to pack up and move on its hard to teach an old dog new tricks! Good Luck
2007-01-05 03:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by harleychickfatboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How's your self esteem? Did you know she was like this when you proposed?
Without dicing words, I think there is a certain percentage of people who are never meant to marry for life. Not that they are not capable of love or commitment, but just not to the same person forever. That doesn't make them bad people like society seems to dictate. I think many people in years past overcame this tendency due to heavy family and social expectations but now, since there is more freedom, people are struggling to come to terms with that.
2007-01-05 03:25:31 · answer #7 · answered by Iristine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is capable of love all women are it depend how seriously
they want it for your wife she has addiction to it and beleive
me it,s not you or she would not have choosen you to be
her husband she has,nt realize or come to term with what ever
that is going on in side herself believe me she is not happy one
thing i learned is you ripe what you sow, being her Husband
continue to love, and treat her nice, and most of allll! IS
PRAY FOR HER she will be covered under u and as you do
these thing it will turn out and you will be find favor and
she may repent for commiting Adultery, God bless you
and may God give comfort and peace that passes all understanding.to you just keep on being that good man
surely LOVE shall find it,s home. just use condom or
don,t sleep with her at all.
2007-01-05 03:26:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people because of some trauma in their youth causes them to be insecure and capable of love , but incapable of faithfulness. Sex generally replaces the feelings of love which they feel neglected.
2007-01-05 03:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she has no idea what the true meaning of marriage and commitment means. She will continue to cheat as long as you keep forgiving her. She obviously has no regard for your feelings. Save yourself from anymore heartache and give your love to someone that will appreciate it.....
2007-01-05 03:52:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋