I am 33 yrs old and my husband is 39.This is my third marriage (but i married my ex. twice)and his second marriage.I am concerned because I met my husband through work while he was still married.We were old collegues and on friendly terms.Nothing ever happened between us while he was still married other than a few suggestive glances and some flirting that he tried to instigated but i backed off and I waited 6 month after he was divorced to start seeing him.My issue is that he seems very proud to show off that i am an ex. model and beauty pagent queen.I also overheard him tell a co-worker that i was his trophy wife?And i quote that he had got a white woman! This is bothering me because i feel like he thinks of me as a status symbol?
2007-01-05 03:07:27 · 19 answers · asked by Elizabeth S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is African American and i am Irish/ half costirican.I feel like he down grades my worth by saying those things when i am a career oriented woman?
2007-01-05 03:11:17 · update #1
Dude i married the same man twice so i only have one ex. hubby!
2007-01-05 03:21:50 · update #2
WHOA!!! You got a colour conscious, status happy man!!!!
GET OUT!!! or get counselling because HE has issues. I bet he thinks dark skinned black women are whole heartedly unattractive. Your husband is the kind of man black women think of when they see a black man w/a white woman. It is SAD!!!!!
I don't know what to say. You love him and it must absolutely HURT to know he only wants you to prove something not because he values your humanity...but your colour and model past!!!!!
Don't make any rash moves, but DO think long and hard about this marriage.
Good luck and may he get some sense in his head.
2007-01-05 03:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be a trophy wife, but if you're still working, then I'd say not. My mother in-law was a trophy wife and my father in-law kept her at home feeling like she was in prison. She was not allowed to work, or spend any money without his consent. She hosted a business gathering at least once a week whether she felt good or not, and she was expected to dress to the 9s for the appearance. He kept her so under his thumb that when she went and bought a new outfit, it caused a major rift in their marriage because she hadn't asked. That was the point she filed for divorce and got out from under his thumb. She's now a successful businesswoman in her own right.
Perhaps he does think of you as a status symbol, but that can go both ways - be proud that he is proud of you, but make sure he loves you for what's inside because beauty eventually fades for us all. Communicate how you are feeling to him and go from there. Good luck!
2007-01-05 11:25:52 · answer #2 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the one hand he might be simply proud of the fact that you are an attractive woman and want to show you off. Perhaps he’s a closet exhibitionist. But what stopped me was his comment that he had gotten a white woman. That is racist, first of all. Second of all, it does give one the feel that you ARE a trophy that he hunted and bagged. Third of all, it would make me worry that if I should lose my current level of attractiveness (thru the natural passage of time or if a disease or accident befell me), that I would be shoved aside for another prettier woman.
Even if he doesn’t mean anything by it necessarily, if it hurts your feelings and makes you question his love and commitment to you, he should cease doing so. I would tell him how his behavior and comments make you feel and ask him to desist.
2007-01-05 11:14:34 · answer #3 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that sh*t bothers u and if that don't work go to his job looking messed up and see if he prance around the job with u.You need a man to love u for what's inside not your pretty face,your body or your beauty status.
2007-01-05 12:15:58 · answer #4 · answered by listener 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um.... ok I thought about this, and, try not to be too upset that he brags about how beautiful his wife is. I don't think he means it to be derogative towards you.
Its more in how he treats you every day thats important. If you hadn't heard him say what he said, would you be concerned about this?
There's much more difficult things in a marriage. I'd consider this minor.
2007-01-05 11:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you remarry right away? Sounds like you should have heard or felt this sooner...like before you decided to get married.
And yes you are his trophy wife. But just because you are doesn't mean he doesn't respect your work ethics.
Don't sweat the small stuff!
2007-01-05 11:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by mvas800 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW... Yea, I would confront him about this, and tell him you are more than just a trophy wife, and that he should respect you as such and not go off telling people that load of lies. Good luck
2007-01-05 11:10:10 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you stll on this? You are not a trade up wife. You have 2 ex-husbands.
2007-01-05 11:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He definitely thinks he married "up" by getting you...
He is apparently proud of himself and is boasting to others...
He may have married you for the wrong reasons..
2007-01-05 11:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is proud of your accomplishments
he jokes about race because he may be uneasy around certain people and he is insecure about their views on inter-racial marriage
he loves you so you should tell him how you feel about the things he says in public
2007-01-05 11:14:29 · answer #10 · answered by sparetom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋