I have trouble sleeping with my girlfriend of 6 months?

Question

Her perception of temperature is far different from mine. I get so hot when 'spooning'... but I love her so much and want her feel secure in my arms. She doesn't understand and thinks I am neglecting her. I beleive I have 'restless leg syndrome'... so I have trouble falling asleep with or with a partner. It seems once I am asleep, I am able to cuddle and stay asleep. What can I do to convince her that it has nothing to do with my feelings for her but my physical sleeping habits?

Answer 1

ah you sound like my husband. just tell her exactly what you said..that's its just your sleeping habits. she shouldn't get offended if she would listen and take your feelings into consideration.

Answer 2

Speaking as a woman...I do admit it IS difficult to fall asleep in many of the cuddling positions. As romantic as it sounds, and as good as it feels while awake, it doesn't bode well for many bodies to fall into slumber. Arms can be awkwardly tucked in uncomfortable positions, as can legs, and yes, body temperature can indeed be a problem. I say cuddle for a bit then just let yourself roll away naturally as your body requires. Are you making it kind of an "all or nothing" thing? Is SHE? You know what I love? Try holding her hand while you lay side by side on your backs. I'm telling you, sometimes even the littlest contact can transmit VOLUMES of "cuddle" emotions, at least for me. Discuss that with her as a possibility. Maybe she just needs to be touched, and that does not necessary require a full-body entanglement.

Answer 3

We have the same temperature problem. I will begin overheating in a matter of minutes with "skin on skin" and start sweating and getting irritable. We get around this by each having our own sheet under the big blanky. No problems there.

As for restless leg you need to see a doctor. There are treatments for that.

Answer 4

No matter what anyone, or TV says, it takes time to get used to sleeping with someone. Especially when one or both have "particular" sleeping habits. My ex husband couldn't sleep without 10 blankets on his legs. Crazy right? It drove me crazy. She sounds young and/or inexperienced. Rules of sleeping aren't easily changed. I have RLS too, its maddening.

You've given her, what appears to her, to be two flimsy excuses. Don't fall for her whining. Find a middle ground where both can be comfortable, and tell her she's worth it.

Answer 5

You sound like a nice guy, but I think you are being a little too nice. Women are funny creatures and constantly want to change us men. The thing is if they change us too much then we have shown them we have not character of your own and some how become a door mat. She is/was attracted to who you are, NOT WHO SHE COULD MAKE YOU INTO. Yes you have to compromise on things, but don't change so much that you lose WHO YOU ARE.

My advise is don't worry about this one. This is one she will just have to accept as part of WHO YOU ARE.

Answer 6

I think most men are warmer at night than their mates. What I do is spoon my wife, but the covers are only half on me, so I don't get so warm.She has full covers and we are both happy!l

Answer 7

See a doctor for, perhaps, some meds for "RLS", turn the thermostat down, (low) and get on with it. Your heart is in the right place. Good luck.

Answer 8

That is very common..
Two people often have very different sleeping temperatures.
One sleeps under blankets while the other just a sheet...

Answer 9

try to compromise, discuss spooning until she is relaxed or asleep, depending how far you want to go w/ it, and then moving to your desired positions. that's what i do w/ my hubby, i'm the one who can't sleep so close, i feel suffocated.

Answer 10

I can't stand spooning because I also get too damn hot. Tell her to get over it.