All that she ever does is complain about how "horrible" her life is and how she is going to die in a couple years. She also has a boyfriend and she treats him BADLY. My brother, her, and her boyfriend went to a restaurant last weekend and she picked a fight with her bf and they started yelling loudly in public; my bro' was very pissed off and left because it was embarrassing. Speaking of my bro', when we were living in Miami she was SUPPOSED to take him to take his driver's license, she never did and he is now 21, still lives with my mom, doesn't go to college because she doesn't think that he "can", and she is telling him to be an officer. I am now experiencing the same thing; she will NOT take me to get my CA ID, she won't take me to any of my friends house or parities and then tells me that I am "all alone" because I choose to and because I am "issues". I can't stand her! I am planning to move to my Aunt's house but she told me that I am going to be "miserable". What's her deal?
2007-01-05 02:49:31 · 15 answers · asked by Ohay 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
She is also a very NEGATIVE person. Everything is always about her!
2007-01-05 02:50:38 · update #1
Your mom sounds like a serious drama queen. Get out before she drags you down!
2007-01-05 02:58:55 · answer #1 · answered by ouch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is clear that your mother has some self-esteem and other issues. It is important for you and your brother to not allow her issues to become your issues. Sometimes when someone doesn't do for you, it's a tool to help you to find your own way. Okay she won't take you to get your ID, catch the bus and say I did it without you. The same things goes for other activities, don't give up because she won't take you. She obviously wants you be be miserable "just like her". Learn this lesson NOW, don't depend on anyone for your happiness, it has to come from within. Whatever you don't like about you and/or your situation, only you can change. Take the intiative, don't pout, be strong and handle your business!!! It is all about you growing up, not about her wasting her life!
When I was 18 I asked my dad for $20, he said "you working are you?". I said, yes, and I NEVER asked him for another dime. I continued to work and I became a survivor. You can do it!
2007-01-05 11:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has to work and pay all the bills has no time for herself...maybe nobody picks up after themselves,or wash a dish around the house, when she gets home from a long hard days work and she has to come home to feed you guys and do housework the laundry and then some...Maybe you guys are running her to the ground...I'm sure her story is different from yours...I want to hear her story, I'm sure i would agree it will probably kill her in a couple of years....I'm sorry I didn't help you....OK well ask her if you can try to stay over at your aunts house for a couple of weeks just to iron things out for a while just to calm things down, between you too.....tell her you still love her but you need time apart to think things things through
2007-01-05 11:04:07 · answer #3 · answered by hatchetmistress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what we call having an example of how NOT to live. You should take this as a great advantage because she has taught you how to enjoy life by showing you how she doesn't enjoy hers. Clearly you will have to start making your own way much sooner than some kids, but don't begin to think you are the only one with a parent or life like this. Just start pursuing your own way and your own opportunities and be happy you mother helped you get on your way that much more quickly.
2007-01-05 10:56:26 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of you complaints seem to be her not "driving" you around. Frankly if she won't you and your brother need to take control of yourselves and find your own way.
Second, your question is when will she stop being the way she is, probably never. Sorry, but people get into cycles and patterns of behavior that they often will not change until they come the understanding of that they MUST change and that they are the ones who have to make the change. Again, something I also suggest to you and your brother.
Your brother is 21, he is old enough to take responsibility for himself and his condition and he can not lay that blame any longer on your mother. I don't know how old you are, but you said you were going to get your CA ID, so guessing at at least 16-ish. It is time for you to start taking charge of you own destiny and not waiting for your mom to do it for you.
Harsh words sorry, but you are only responsible for yourself and you can only change yourself and your attitudes. I had many similar issues, but by 16, I had a full time job, going to school and taking care of my self (not living with my parents). Your life is up to you, no one else.
2007-01-05 10:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by cyahlaytar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH man we should put your mom and my dad together. My dad reeks negativity 24/7 and absolutely drives me nuts to the point i want to leave planet earth. My dad is what your mom is and that is a total control freak. Does this sound familiar? Do this or else by god there are going to be consequences. You need to do this because its better for you and dear you will make more money. What do you mean you cant do it that way? Its my way or the highway. This is what happens to me. I avoid my dad at all costs because i cannot stand how he talks to me. He will come over and he will nag, nag, nag and one time i tried to hit him. Then he told me i had to go to nursing school. I told him that should be my decision but he keeps on pushing and pushing. Well ive had enough. There is nothing i can do that will ever please him. I stopped trying. Its my life and ill do what i want to with it. I told him i didnt need his opinion and to kindly keep his opinions to himself. I wished i would have been adopted than to have to put up with his sorry *** nagging all the time. He is worse than an old woman and her friend. The only way ill get peace from my dad is to permantently move away and never speak to him again and thats what i intend to do. There are some control freaks you just cant change girl....good luck to you and yours....
2007-01-05 10:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by firey_spirit_66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may not like what you are about to read but just remember you asked....sorry but it doesn sound as if you all have some issues...you included...its like you expect her to do all these things for you and be what you want but you aren't do the same for her you're just complaining about her. your brother is old enough to get his license on his own and get a job and move out, he's using the excuse your mom is keeping him there so he doesn't have to grow up and you are too. your brother could go to college, get a license and grow up but he doesn't want to...sorry but thats the truth...you are old enough to get your license, move in with your aunt, get a job and move on. its probably best for all of you since it sounds like a very tense situation. one thing you don't seem to think about is all the pressure on your mom to provide for all of you and still be a part of the adult world and date...have you ever set down and just talked with her, her negativity is coming from somewhere and the fact that she has a 21 yo son that doesn't seem to do anything and a daughter that tells and shows her everyday that she hates here and a bf that you have no idea what is going on between the two of them has got to be a trememdous amount of pressure...could you handle the responsibility of caring for and providing for an entire family while they fight you tooth and nail and show no appreciation for you and be upbeat and happy? it doesnt sound like it. why not give her a break she is only one person trying to do a lot and probably working on top of that, you can bet she probably is miserable, some of her own making but ask yourself are you contributing to it, is the bf....your brother, her work...she's only human. bottom line you sound just like what you're describing her as...so quit whining and consider the good things you have and force yourself to help her and others in your family and yourself...your happiness is not all her responsibilty..you and you alone are responsible for your own actions.
2007-01-05 11:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by ?! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother may have had a difficult childhood, so that could be the only way she knows to be a parent. That is sad, but possible.
Why not sit down with your mother and ask her to talk about your concerns? If she is willing, you're good, and if she's not, at least you tried. Be sure not to be accusatory or overemotional when you're visiting. Just focus on how much you love her, but how hard it is living with her. Ask her what you can do to be a better daughter, so she gets to say some things, too.
2007-01-05 10:53:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately we don't get to pick our parents. However after you reach the age of 18 (and this goes for your brother too) you can make most choices in life without mom's control . Talk to your aunt about your future. You may learn that your mother is not mentally healthy. Don't worry about the bf. He can stay or leave. That is his choice.
2007-01-05 10:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by Nancy O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I PROMISE---I lived through stuff like that.
BUT, all you have to do is walk away from the person when they are griping or being a witch--so as not to STAY AROUND while they gripe. I AM NOT saying to move---I am saying walk away from that stuff, so it won't RUB OFF on you.
Take a walk or a drive---don't b----- back, because you don't know what your Mom had to go through as a young person.
STRIFE in your life will only make you OLD before your time.
Busy yourself helping others, and get your mind off your Mom.
And give her to God. Only HE can change her. She has to WANT to change.
2007-01-05 10:51:36 · answer #10 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave your mama alone. You CANNOT change her. Just except this as her personality and go from there. All you can do is worry and fixate but you will not get your desired outcome. Once you've told her your opinion THATS IT!!!! The rest is UP TO HER!!!
Tough I know. My dad is 10yrs from retiring and has no job, no bank account, and some strange idea that he should go teach in China for $5.00 an hour!!!!!!
2007-01-05 10:52:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋