I just got divorced in July. I have 3 children one from my marriage.My son lives with me and sees his Dad on the weekends. We have joint custody. My decree says that if I move I have to give the courts and him 60 days notice. We moved away from our family and my childrens home almost 3 years ago to buy a house here. I got stuck with the house which I cant afford so I thought after I finished school in June I would move us back home to CO. Back home to our family. We have no family here just my ex's brother and sister in law and their two kids live here. In CO we have grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins. I told my ex about my plans to move and he told me that thats not a good idea. I just want to do whats right for all my children. Family is important as well as being happy. Can he make it so I can't move? Do I need to be prepared for an ugly fight? Thank u for ur time.
2007-01-05 02:49:24 · 17 answers · asked by Frankie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I asked my attorney about this a couple years ago, although I ended up not moving out of state. We have joint legal custody, but since she spends most of the time with me, I have primary physical custody. All that really means is that my opinions may be given heavier weight in decisions like this. Anyway, I was told that I would have to give him notice, and yes he could fight it. However, as long as I have a valid reason for moving - new job, unable to support myself - he couldn't keep me from leaving.
What the court wants to see is that it's not a power struggle. Show the judge that you do want what's best for your children. Anticipate that he will ask why you feel you need to move, and have a thorough response. Also be ready to propose some ideas on how visitation will work after you move - to show that you are being proactive and not vindictive. Ideally, you and your ex may be able to agree on that beforehand. Good luck!
2007-01-05 03:08:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have a joint custody order it may be difficult to move. If you do move you ex may get primary custody of the children. Go seek the advise of a lawyer. Also read over you custody agreement and follow the rules! As for being prepared for and ugly fight only you no the answer to that. If you ex is a good father and spends time with the children he has a say in where they will reside. Good luck!
2007-01-05 03:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is right for you children is for you both to be close to them and both share custody. Two parents in the kids lives is much more important than seeing aunts and uncles. Parents are the people who form the kids into what they will become as adults.
Depending on the courts, most will NOT let you move out of state if the other parent with which you share joint custody is seeing the children and being an active parent. He can make it to where you can't move. You both are going to need to go back to court.
2007-01-05 02:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by Fishgutts 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depending upon your state laws, yes he can. In Indiana you have to have sufficinet cause to approach the court for a move outside a 100 mile radius. Sufficieny cause is listed as: emotional support, change in job status or remarriage. If you decide to move, share parental rights/custody then you must share in the burden beyond the 100 mile radius to continue the visitation rights as established by your state. So if your ex gets every other weekend and 1 overnight per week then barring the overnight you MUST keep the visitation schedule regardless of the distance and expense incurred. Both myself and my husband have these issues. His ex took all 3 children and moved 200 miles north. Every other weekend, we make a 2 hour drive EACH WAY on Fridays and then again on Sundays to get my stepchildren. They spend 8 hours of their visitation time in a vehicle. The time we miss for our overnights is recouped on their summer rotation and then we get them an addtional 6 weeks so that the parenting time is 50/50. It is VERY hard on thie kids. The drive isn't the issue. It's the huge loss of contact with their dad and family here. They have no family support there and she moved under false pretences to the court just to be vendictive. We actually have to go to court in July to deal with this issue and it's been 3 years since their divorce. It really begins to take it's toll. Laws are different in different states so you should seek legal advice. Ask yourself this question: Could you yourself manage emotionally seeing your children that infrequently? How would you feel BUT more importantly, how would your son feel. It's a hard situation no matter what happens but I wish you luck.
2007-01-05 03:01:47 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to take this child out of state and away from his father? Have you considered letting his dad raise him? Is that feasible? I understand your reason for wanting to go home, but what about your son? How will this effect his relationship with his father?
Why don't you and your ex sit down and talk? See what arrangements can be made. Perhaps he could keep the child during the school year and send him home to you in the summer, or visa versa. Really, something has to be done to preserve the father-son relationship. It is far more important to your son than the relatives back home.
2007-01-05 03:10:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You cannot move away with the child out of state without the father's approval. It;s on your divorce decree.
If you ignore this and violate your agreement, he can get the law involved for violating a court order and even kidnapping.
You only have two options:
- Negotiate with him in a nice, civilized manner
or
- Get back to court to change the joint costudy to sole custidy. This process is often lenghty and emotionaly and fincially exhausting sin it will involve lawyers.
I suggest for you to give option number one a try.
Good luck
2007-01-05 02:58:57 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are divorced and you have full custody of your son then there should be no problem with you movingout ofstate! You just need to make the courts or child support what ever the case is aware of your move and let him have your son for the summer if he is a good dad and genuinely wants to be a part of your sons growth!
2007-01-05 02:52:56 · answer #7 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Assuming the man isn't abusive (which I'm assuming he isn't since you didn't mention it), he SHOULD prevent you from moving away from him. What's most important is that your children have BOTH parents involved in their life. It's not their fault that you two decided to split up. Don't make them upheave their lives because you two were unhappy. You may not have family there but your children do......their father. Don't underplay his importance.
Whew. Sorry about that. Product of divorce here and I feel kinda strongly about it.
2007-01-05 02:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Stacey K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that what's right for your kids is to have mom and dad both close by. Maybe your ex can get a job in CO near you, so you can be happy and your kids can be around more relatives. Would he consider that? Good luck and hugs for thinking of what's best for the kids.
2007-01-05 02:53:08 · answer #9 · answered by Savvy Sue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the divorce decree. You have to let him know of course with an acceptable amount of time, but yes, he can fight it. Get prepared even though it might turn out fine. Good Luck!
2007-01-05 02:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by juscallmesweety 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋