My husband has cheated me many times. He has had various physical relationships with women. He keeps leching at woman even when I am around me. I hv 2 children. I have been to counsellors many times. I have taken him too. He vouches he will not do it. But it repeats. I don't trust him. But I am not earning good. I hv decided to use him for his money, to bring up my kids. But I am scared,since I have a daughter too. He views prono stuff all the time on his laptop. He has many CDs burnt of this stuff. He even reads stories like dad sleeping with daughter. I have no support, as my parents are no more & my sibling is not close to me. Ours was a love marriage. Any suggestions? He does'nt take any interest in bringing up our kids, but provides for us & never beats me. I have tried my best to make it work. Now, though its suffocating, I want to remain married for the sake of the kids (financially) I mean. Any suggestions
2007-01-05 02:29:39 · 13 answers · asked by bamboo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A child growing up poor with an understanding of the value of a dollar is better than a child subjected to immorality and potential abuse. The porn concerns me most...not porn itself, but the specific content you mentioned. Don't make a quick judgment to leave, but you have to find a way to get out of there. Do you want your children thinking this is normal behavior? When they are older and they know the full story, what might they think? A mother who made a sacrifice or a poor decision? Just think about it. Do some research on help for single mothers. Have some self-respect. Good Luck
2007-01-05 02:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by sammiejane67 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop having sex with him.
Stay for the kids and make sure they get the best that his money can buy.
In the mean time, go to college or technical college and improve on your education, or do a short course in a field you are interested in. When your kids are old enough to look after themselves, get a part time job and try to make your own money, and keep this money in your own account. Keep making your cheating husband pay for everything else.
Make some new friends. If you get a boyfriend, you will be as bad as him, but just keep friends.
When you are financially stable and have enough money to survive on your own, then just leave him. If it takes so long that the kids are both over 18, then that will be better for the kids. Just keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't sexually abuse your daughter. If he does, just call the police. He will be arrested and you can continue to live in his house.
2007-01-05 02:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anna K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it worth it to be financially stable but screw up your kids' minds for the rest of your life, or to break free, start off rough, but have your kids grow up knowing that their mom did right by not letting them be around trash all day long?
Unfotunately your kids have no say in this decison right? I think you're scared of not making the amount of money that you're comfortable with. Are there a lot of materialistic things that you can't let go of?
He'd be paying child support anyways, and yeah, you would be entitled to half the money if you divorce.
I would rather grow up poor than ending up in a porno if that's all i saw in the household
2007-01-05 06:53:37 · answer #3 · answered by smooshcrickets 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to provide you with 2 solutions:
1. If u have solid proof of his polygamous nature,file a divorce suit strait way,in 9 out of 10 cases,u r definitely gonna get custody of uor children as well as money in monthly basis for uor livelihood as u don't earn uorself.[although u have not mentioned the country u r residing in and ages of uor children].For legal assistance u can consult with uor local women assistance NGO's or groups in uor city.I think apart from anything else,u r depriving uorself by leading such a life.
2.Engaging in porno stuff can not be regarded as an offense by an adult in most countries..ask uor daughter,did she felt his intentions like dat?if u can't ask her,observe her..is she feeling a bit depressed all the time wenever father is around?If no,then u r fearing too much.
just ask uorself "is there any chance dat this man might realize his faults one day and change himself?"if u dont see any,then don't just drag on with him and traumatize uor life further.
2007-01-05 02:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by avi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what you have to do for your kids I think that is is honorable to do that for them even though you are having problems trying to deal with the stuff you already have. You can do this and keep focused on the children keep making there lives happy and not let all of the drama influence them, in time when your children get older you will see who they will come to when the time comes...Trust me on this just take care of them and everything will fall into place.
Good Luck!
2007-01-05 03:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOOOO.. You mean to tell me that you are remotely considering him staying with a daughter and he fantasizing with porno about sex with daughters.
RED FLAG...
You need to put your foot down and HARD... You tell... "I've been putting up with your cheating ways and your neglect of me, but there is NO way you're staying with our daughter and viewing that mind rot. YOU NEED HELP."
You want to do what's best for your children. What would you rather have? Plenty of money, the finer things, a child that most probably will have emotional scars the rest of her life OR Little money, decent things, and children who MIGHT go without a meal every once in a while...
If you want to not have to make that decision. YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!! You don't want your child harmed.
He obviously is overly obsessed with PORN. It's going to destroy your marriage anyway, why do you wait until it hits your children also? TODAY is the day. Don't wait until he acts out and pretend to turn a blind eye to it for money. PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN!!!
2007-01-05 02:41:14 · answer #6 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is quite terrible. I try to picture your situation, and I think you are doing the right thing for a good reason. But that is only my opinion. You and your kids have to eat and sleep in a good bed and safe place. It is unfair and sad the way you live. God needs to be brought into this situation and I hope you ask Him to. Bless you
2007-01-05 02:35:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stay married for now, and start doing things to get you on track to leaving him. Don't tell him. Pretend everything is fine and you totally forgive him. Start looking for a better paying job, with health benefits. Get enough money saved up to move out. Find those nasty stories he reads, and make sure you keep them, to throw them in his face if he thinks he's going to mess you over in the divorce.
2007-01-05 02:35:39 · answer #8 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is sick "hello" he is reads about dads sleeping with daughter. Leave him now before something happens like it does in those sick stories he reads. Just had faith and everything will be okay good luck.
2007-01-05 06:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by chicka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce him and have half his money
You can't raise your kids like you are doing now, you should separate from your husband.
2007-01-05 02:33:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋