How Do I keep My Teenaged Daughter Away From the Drug Scene?

Question

My 15 year old daughter got into drugs at school, and had a near fatal overdose 7 months ago. She will be leaving her rehab center in a matter of weeks and I am scared to death she will fall back in with the same crowd. I can't afford to move away, and private school is also not an option, because of the costs. Do I lock her in her room? Do I follow her around everywhere? She is clean and sober and cries to me to help her stay that way, but I was totally blindsided by her drug use once and I dont want to go through that again. Any advise would be appreciated. Thanks! Also, if it makes any difference, her drug of choice was cocaine.

Answer 1

Hi there!!!
my heart goes out to you during this tough time. Good for you that you want to be involved in keeping her drug free. Do not blame yourself honey, many times we have our own issues and these things happen. The important thing is you found out, you helped her, she is asking you to help her stay sober, so there my friend is the first building block to work with.
No matter how shielded we keep our children, if they are not part of our plan in keeping away from drugs, it will not matter what we do, they will do the drugs.
she asked you for help, now throw the ball back into her court, tell her yes you will help her, but ultimatly she is the one that decides what goes up her nose or not. She must realize that we are the builders of our own life, that each choice we take will have an impact on our tommorrow.
Let her know how much you love her, listen to her, ask her why did she do it , and listen, really listen. Do not throw anything at her face if you ever have an argument, that could make her shut down and not confide in you again, so caution.
Counselers at her rehab center can give you tons of information, also they have group meetings that would be good for her.
You do not have money to move you say or to place her in a private school, ok so this means that you have to deal with what deck of cards you have in hand now, make the best out of this situation.
I would find out who the other people using drugs are, but be careful, these drug dealers are very jealous many times and can do radical things if we mess up their buisiness. Let her know ( your daughter) that you need her help in order for you to help her. She plays a vital role. The reality is you can not follow her around like a watch dog. She will be on her own, out and about and she needs to take responsibility.
Tell her to change friends, places she would go, things she would do. Maybe you can homeschool her, I do not know if it is possible where you live. I do know that some states actually will give you the materials to home school at no charge. If this is a possibility, do some research online.
Do everything you can , but do not place this burden on your shoulders alone. Remember to be loving to her, but also firm, you are her mother, the person god trusted to guide her in this journey we call life.
Please let us know what happened , how it turned out for you.
May the lord shine his light upon your home
may angels whisper in your daughters ear
may you find peace when you rest your head at night
Love light and peace

Answer 2

The only way to "wake-up" a drug user is to give them a hard reality check. If you live near a city, please take her for a ride and let her see first hand what drugs do to people. I lived in Baltimore and when we would go to the city, those people made me scared sober. You can't imagine what the "walking dead" look like until you have encountered them in their own environment. She needs to see the long term damage it does and how it effects your life. Those people she will see were once just like her. Most of them were from very wealthy families. Don't be afraid to talk to any of them either, most are eager to share their stories. If you are not near a city, I would suggest taking her to a local prison. The women in there are very willing to share their life experiences. She needs to see what drugs really do to you. Right now she sees her friends doing them and they seem "cool" for it. They haven't been using long enough for the damage to show yet. Don't ever for one minute think she is "recovered". Unfortunately this is a very addicting drug and relapse is expected. She will have to hit "rock bottom" before she ever leaves it alone for good. You can't be lax on her for any amount of time. Get in her business and keep checking up on her. I know this sounds mean, but she used drugs when you weren't checking up on her. She may need to be treated like a child in order for her to become a respectable adult. I will pray for your family. Take care and GOD bless.

Answer 3

You need to have some counselling yourself if you haven't already. There are programs for family members that advise you how to look after yourself instead of getting "dragged" into the addictions of loved ones. That's not exactly the right word to use, I know, but if you are a codependant, your life will be totally ruled by your loved ones addiction. It's hard to say, but tough love is the only way to go. Be vigilant, be supportive, but the bottom line is your daughter knows what the perils of her addiction are. All addicts are taught that the bottom line is, jail, insanity and death are the only ends to their disease. She should have been taught that in rehab.

Answer 4

I was a troubled teen on drugs and in hinesight I would say that if I felt truely loved by my mom ie; hugs, kisses, open communication, and honest interest in my interests, and actually did things with me, I think I would have made different choices. I know I did drugs because I felt the people I was doing drugs with were more of a family to me than the one I had and I could escape the emotional pain I was feeling. I think you should show her via internet the effects of doing drugs, and with drugs sometimes comes sexual permiscuity- I would show her pictures of std's of a brain damaged by the chemicals of drugs and just open up to her and tell her you love her and care about what she does to herself and you will help her by being her best friend and honestly and truely become her best friend. Maybe see if she'll get involved with religion and God thats how I completely changed my life. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

For her to have gotten into this mess means you weren't doing your job. I did the same when I was a kid because although my mother loved me, she didn't question and watch everything I did. If you were more involved in her daily activities she wouldn't have been able to get into this mess in the first place. Now that she is the only way to keep her out of it is to keep her away from the friends she did it with. That means constant supervision and an outlet for her to find new and better friends. If moving is what you need to do then you need to save up the money to do it.

Answer 6

I think you will be suprised that you don't have to wrap her up in cotton wool. Take her to different places and help her join a new group (maybe a church group) and mixing with people of her own age who are not in the drugs "scene" is about as much as you can do. She had an overdose, is she likely to risk it again?

Answer 7

It looks like there is a whole her in life that she tried to fill with drugs. Help her realize there are other ways to fill that whole. Find a hobby that you could both enjoy. Maybe it could be painting, or a sport. Find something. Spend time together. Most importantly, let her know that you love her and even though she might make bad decisions, you will still love her and always try to help her overcome the struggles she has.

Answer 8

OMG.... Wow... Ok. Well at least she is getting help and they will give her tools to stay away from drugs. My other suggestion is to ALWAYS ALWAYS keep open communication between you and her. Let her know that you will always be there for her, and that its ok to talk to you. I went through something similar when I was younger. My parents moved me away to live with my sister in california. It worked. I went to a Seventh Day Adventist church. Im FINALLY (10 years later) recovering memories and my memory is FINALLY getting better from that time. It was pretty bad and my family was there for me 100%. If you arent now, I also suggest getting involved with church. Maybe if she is around kids who have higher beliefs and morals, she will mimic their behavior. Good luck to you!

Answer 9

even though alot of what he wrote in the end turned out to be lies and exaggerations u dont have to tell your daughter this but get her and yourself a copy of A Million Little Pieces by James Frey he pretty well depicts the hell an addict lives in. Make sure you discuss the book with her too.

Answer 10

You've got to get involved in her life! Ask questions, stay informed, do things with her, make yourself available to her. If she knows that you care and are there for her, it will make it less appealing for her to run with a bad crowd.