Follow-up: Do you think if women?

Question

would not have such an "off limits attitude" towards married men, married men would not feel like they are trapped in a relationship and that other women in general would not be taboo. Therefore, there would be less cheating and sneaking around.

When does it become inappropriate to have a friend of the opposite sex? I don't tell my wife everything about my relationships with my male friends, should I have to with my female friends?

It seems as if married women do not want their men to have women friends; and women do not want to be friends with married men. But men seem to have no problem with it. Is it that women do not want another woman talking to their man, so they do not talk to another woman's man? I think women don't trust women to do the right thing when confronted with the temptation. What say you women?

Denny: Married men don't need to be in the presence of single women without their wife being around? This is the attitude I am speaking of. Are people that animalistic to the point that we can't control ouselves when we are in the presence of a member of the opposite sex?

JustMe: I can respect that.

Chester57: I've read some of your posted questions, you have no credibilty whatsoever!

Answer 1

Bottom line:

MOST WOMEN CAN'T BE TRUSTED!

And an insecure woman (and there are a lot out there)....WILL try to seduce a married man or a committed man just to feel like she GOT SOMETHING OVER on another woman, and was special enough to win over a committed/married man.....

Trust me on this, as a woman................I don't trust them! I have seen first hand the damage they do.....and a man that has been married awhile, that might be bored or whatever or feeling lonely, is actually easy bait for these insecure ho's..........

Theres the answer.

I also think that if married women would lighten up and actually be a little more kind and loving and gentle with their husbands, and raise him to his proper place of Head of the Family and support that, and give of themselves freely in intimate ways, most men WOULD NEVER look for female companionship out side of marriage.

Thats my opinion- And I am sticking with it!

Answer 2

My personal experience to date has been that I have a guy friend until they get a girlfriend or get married, almost no exceptions. I have met a few married men in the last year that are very cool guys but would never persue an individual friendship with them out of respect for their wives feelings.

Here's a question back to you then about attitudes: All through college I had 90% guy friends b/c of the demographics. When I dated and then broke up with one of them, I lost a whole bunch of friends (guys) because he's a guy, and then when I started dating another one, I lost another bunch b/c he wanted 'guy time' with some of our common friends. Now when I hang out with them I am expected to hangout more with their wives even though I don't know them as well. Isn't this the same kind of attitude you're talking about?

In answer to your questions, I think it is partly natural and partly learned from previous generations. It's natural to be jealous so we can protect our interests and offspring. If we know one man is the father of our children we have more right to his protection and support. Also, in previous generations, women have only the well being of their men and children to show for their life long efforts. Imagine then having someone take credit for 40 years of your work. We still learn this kind of behaviour from our parents even though times have changed.

I agree with your assessment of why there might be more desire to cheat. In a discussion group, the concept of "community" or the loss of it was discussed. Many people concluded that the loss of the close community caused couples to only associate within a very confined number of people and causes things like marital problems, later child bearing, depression and segregation.

Answer 3

I think you're right...women in general don't trust their MEN to do the right thing when confronted with temptation - much less the other woman. And what woman in her right mind WOULD trust him? Look at how many men (and women) are cheating these days? And it doesn't seem to take much at all for them to take that leap...just the mere idea that someone may be interested in them, and off they go jumping all over the opportunity.

Maybe you won't cheat. Who knows? Only you really know.

Answer 4

Now Ive heard it all. Are you kidding ? No seriously, are you kidding ? So now its the wife's fault again ? The sad and honest truth is that men cant be trusted. A man can never be in the presence of a women without having non-friend thoughts in his mind. This fact comes from the mouths of men. I myself have NEVER had a male friend, who given the chance, wouldn't have jumped on it. NEVER. And I have lots of male friends. Women didn't make it like this, men did.

Answer 5

I think if both the man and the woman feel secure, loved and are having their needs met in their relationship that they shouldn't have a problem with having friends of the opposite sex. And their spouses or significant other shouldn't have a problem with it. If I am loved and satisfied at home I wouldn't look at another man as anything more than a friend and vice versa.

Answer 6

With your lifestyle, and you are opening up the world to having women friends, you are basically opening up to meet this woman emotional needs, and eventually she will fall for you and then it happens you will have sexual intercourse affair, and you do not know what to do, and if your wife gets involved with male friend, and she already feeling violated of mistrusting you of having female friends, that she will gear into resentment about you, and having anger feelings, and being negected by you not meeting your own emotional needs, anybody, any man that gives her postive attention, she is starving for, she will have an emotional affair first, then you know, she will fall into a sexual affair with the male friend, because he knows that the hubby is already doing it, so why can't I, and that he know from all of your wife insecurties, that he will pursuad your wife into sexual affairs, and eventually of leaving you.
This is how most marriages are broken, by the first gesture of the husband being alone with a female friend, and things does build up, leads to having affairs, deceit, lies, deception.
No married man or married woman needs to be alone with the oppostite sex, if they truly want their marriage. That means, hubbys and wives, and innoncent lunch is not apprioated, and giving the person a ride without your spouse, and doing things alone with the oppostite sex. It all starts just being alone with the freind of the oppostite sex.

And if you valued your marriage, your wife, give her the upmost respect of not being alone with other females, that will end up destroying your foundation of your marriage, and your relationship with your wife!
Have all the friends and guys time you want, and for your wife all the time with her female friends and girls time she wants, but never come to cross those boundraies that will end up breaking your marriage!

Answer 7

I say if they don't trust each other enough, then they shouldn't be together. I have a male friend & my husband knows about it & is friends with him too. Some women just can't stand for their men to even look at another woman much less talk to her. Some women are just as insecure as men are. If the woman truly trusts her man, she should know that he knows how to say NO to another woman...mine does. No is a complete sentence.

Answer 8

Married men don't need to be around single women or any other woman when their wives aren't present and vise versa.So what are you saying, or looking for a reason for men to cheat,that is what i am getting out of your question.

Answer 9

I am married. I have women friends. My wife is friends with married men. I am not sleeping with any of my women friends, but I do not tell my wife every little detail. It is not that I am doing anything appropriate, just don't feel the need to give her a detailed account of our discusssions (even though I do tell my wife if I speak with one of them).

Answer 10

Some women see married men as the forbidden fruit, and you know what Eve did. The temptation is too great.