my girlfriend lives 425 miles away, we just broke up and still are on great terms. we just werent compatiable for each other and last week she told me she was pregnant. abortion is not an option for her, but we have decided not to stay together. i have a great job and make a nice salary. i do not have any degrees i've just worked my way up the ladder here and i feel like if i leave i will struggle fianancially. but if i dont leave, the child will never know or be closer to father and that would kill me. she has realeased me from any responsbility, but i told her i would do whatever to help. any words of wisdom???
2007-01-05 01:32:34 · 13 answers · asked by mike 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Her saying your released means nothing. If your the child legal father. Work it out with her as much as you can . Always put a little away for the childs bills and education you never know when she will have to come to you for help. She may claim that she can do it on her own but having a child is a two person job. I know people that can do it with one but it leaves them worn out or with someone else raising the kids. You don't need the TV raising your kid now do you.
Recap
Save money for a rainy day
Get a better job that has health coverage.
Stay in the kids life.(he'll be looking for you or cursing you later if you don't.)
2007-01-05 01:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by FIRE § 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has relieved you of any responsibility, I would get that in writing. Hate to sound harsh, but at some point, she'll come after you legally and perhaps try to get retro-child support or something like that. I honestly wouldn't believe her saying that for a moment.
On the other hand, its also a matter of whether you want to be responsible or not. I don't care for kids, nor do I want any of my own someday (I'm a girl) so if I were a dude and my g/f or whatever was pregnant, I'd run the other way. Just make sure you thoroughly think things out b/c if you leave your life and career only to be in an unhappy situation, you don't want to blame the child for that later on when you regret yourself.
2007-01-05 01:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by Dani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you know what you should do. I personally would not be able to know I had a child and not be involved in his/her life. Is there anyway you could transfer your job? If not and you are set on being there for your ex and your baby then I'd probably send out resumes and letters of interest to companies closer to her just to get a feel for the type of work and the salaries they pay. Its up to you what you want in the end- a good secure job or knowing your child.
2007-01-05 01:41:38 · answer #3 · answered by Cadillac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that even though she released you of all responsiblities you should still be there through everything.
I just found out myself that I'm pregnant, but I'm married.
I think the two of you really need to sit down and talk about where this is gonna take you two. That kid will need both parent figures in his/her life.
If after sitting down and talking doesn't have u two get back together for the child's sake then just do anything and everything you can for her and the kid.
2007-01-05 01:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by Mandi B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm pregnant with my second child and my children's father lives about an hour away. i can't say that it's been easy because it hasn't our oldest child is 19 months and our second is due in april. it's a stretch because he works five days a week and can only come up on the weekends.
what you have to do is make the effort to get see your child. my daughter knows who her father is because he's as involved as he can be. he supports his child and would come to her at the drop of a dime. you don't have to give up your job to be a better parent. you've got to take the iniative to want to be a better parent.
2007-01-05 01:50:04 · answer #5 · answered by *~*Jon-Jon's Mommy!!*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still be a father. Can she move closer?? You sound like a good guy to at least take responsibility. set up what you can...pay child support and set up a custody agreement. You may change your mind about being together later.
2007-01-05 04:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AWWWW how sweet of you I would do anything possible to be around my baby you have 40 weeks to make a decision try applying for jobs in her area you can check the listings online you will make a way you seem like a great guy!!
2007-01-05 01:44:50 · answer #7 · answered by tasha l 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mate - it sounds like she and both of you are being amicable about it which is a god-send.
if you are sure that you both can not make a go of it and she wont consider an abortion (are you sure??)
then you can still see the baby to start off with at weekends and whenever possible but still not forgetting you have a life to lead as well - your job situation might change in the future when you gain more experience - maybe try some courses to improve your education, skills, CV
2007-01-05 01:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by JDA 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just help her go through it and if youre not going to stay with her atleast pay child support make her feel cared for and make the the child feel like he/she has a dad
2007-01-05 01:39:27 · answer #9 · answered by xxxrican_mami 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She can say she is pregnant to try to get you back, you really wont know until you see some results or whatever. Did she say how far along she is and when the last time yall "hooked up" does it fit the time frame.
2007-01-05 01:41:49 · answer #10 · answered by coldconfession13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋