Okay, I admit it, I'm a snoop. Why? Because of my own insecurities. I'm 15.5 weeks pregnant with my first child. The guy that I am pregnant by is what you could call a "knock out" and any woman that seems to come in contact with him wants him. Well, we don't live together, but we have been seeing each other for 3 years. He went out to his home town for christmas and to visit his other children. When he got home he wanted to spend time with me. After having great sex, he passed out. His phone kept buzzing and buzzing. I wasn't tired of course, but the phone kept bothering me. I noticed phone #'s that looked familiar. I checked his voice mail, and come to find out., there were several messages from 3 different females, one saying she loved him, and the other is a girl that we worked with together 2years ago. (None of us work together now) He knows that I know something, but he has no clue its about the voicemails. I love him. What should I do? Keep my mouth shut about his affairs? ?
2007-01-05 00:47:20 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
No, don't do that, trust me I am in that situation now and it will just tear you up inside having to live with that. You should either confront him, telling him what you have done, and that you know of the affairs, or just leave him now. I know that is a harsh thing to say to a person in you situation, but you will always be wondering if he is cheating on you if you stay in this relationship, it will drive you crazy, all you will be able to think of is him being with other women when he is not with you. Maybe if you confront him he will be willing to change his ways, but how can you trust him that he has, it will always be there in the back of your mind. It will ruin your life, and ruin the time you have with your child because of it being the only thought in your mind of him being unfaithful. He can still be part of your child's life without being with you, and you can still have a great life with your child without him. There are plenty of other, better men, who would want to love you and your new baby, you don't need him and his games. Just move on, it will be for the best in the long run.
2007-01-05 01:01:25 · answer #1 · answered by gypsyiiiis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem with my children's father. our daughter was sick and they were taking a nap together. his phone was in her nursery and it was blinking so i checked it. there were lots of messages from two women. i thought we were exclusive but he lives in a different city so i knew there was a chance he wasn't so i wrote the numbers down and called the girls once he left.
i found out that one girl was pregnant and was getting an abortion and the other girl was just some random f***buddy. i got pissed and confronted him. he told me the truth about the pregnant girl and confessed that it could be his baby but that he was handling that situation. i told him to see it through because girls can be scandalous. he did and we took some time off.
it took him a long time to earn my trust back because finding that stuff out hurt me more than anything. i don't think we're really back to where we were before all this happened and we're expecting our second child together in april.
you shouldn't keep your mouth shut but don't accuse him of anything that you don't have proof of but stand your ground.
2007-01-05 10:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by *~*Jon-Jon's Mommy!!*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am kind of going through the same thing... It is SO hard I know, but you should say something. I know you love him, but he needs to know what is bothering you. I would just wait until he said "What's wrong" say, "You know, there is something wrong, and I am not mad, but I want the truth" then tell him what you found out. It is going to hurt, just prepare yourself for the worst. My girlfriend got a new phone number TWICE and people are still contacting her... Hmmm, it makes you wonder I know, but you have to stay strong. Just ask him about it, if he flips out and gets all mad and defensive, he is probably cheating, but if not, then they are probably just contacting him because they saw him while visiting his kids or whatever, and started to "miss" him, or what-not. Hang in there, and good luck!
2007-01-05 16:06:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you satisfied to live a life where you are not the only woman? I wouldn't be, and I wouldn't be satisfied for my child to have that life, either. If you are content to keep your mouth shut because you think this guy is worth it, well...I guess your standards aren't very high...knock out or not. Just remember, that you don't deserve to be treated that way, and your child deserves a better future than the one it sounds like he is going to get.
2007-01-05 09:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, that is a hard situation, because you are gonna end up doing whatever you want to do regardless of what we answer on here. but remember that you are expecting a new life and you need to be aware that is not just about you now. think about your baby and what you think its best for him/her. if you accept your boyfriend's affairs, that is never going to change. i grew up in a home where my dad cheated constantly. my mom kept it quiet and then blew up. it was too late. he learned how to love two people at the same time. i have been cheated on. i gave second chances, but it never worked because i couldn't trust. so if you think that you can live like that forever, go ahead. but i would definitely put a stop to it before it gets worse. think about your baby.
2007-01-05 08:56:42 · answer #5 · answered by glitter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time to become a mature adult and think about that lovely baby of yours. I'm not trying to be mean but once you become a mom your life is no longer your own. This man sounds very immature and he will not stay long with any one woman, is this what you want for yourself and your little baby?. You are worth something, you are worth a lot more than this. Find someone who will love you back and treat you like a woman.
2007-01-05 08:52:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should have checked his voicemails. It sounds like this might be a pattern for him - with him having other children and all. You are just dating and there's no engagement, marriage or even living together to show he is totally committed to you and this baby. If that is what you want this you need to talk to him
2007-01-05 08:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by Stacy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him..If he is worth keeping we will be honest if he trys to lie about it I don't care what he looks like he isn't worth it..Do you want to spent your life with a man you can trust or one you have to wonder about all the time..I have been married to what to call a ( knock out ) for 5 years now..He is the most honest person I have ever meet..I see how women look at him and he knows it He is married and believes in our vows..
2007-01-05 08:57:56 · answer #8 · answered by jewel64052 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man cheats on his pregnant wife/gf, he can never be trusted. Period. Do you want to live your life wondering what he is doing every second he is not in your sight? Besides, this man is the example your child will have for how men behave. Not acceptable. Confront him.
2007-01-05 09:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide if this is what you want. A relationship of insecurities. It is not healthy for you or your unborn child. If you plan on staying with him, you can tell him , but dont fuss about it, because you are making the decision to stay with him, which means you are willing to put up with his "issue". you have to do what is best for you and the baby! Not whats best for him!!! Good luck!!
2007-01-05 15:43:03 · answer #10 · answered by Who Dat Chic!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋