Why do I get from women what I want, when I treat them like dirt ?

Question

Reason would dictate that beeing niicce with women would lead to success. However in my experience the opposite is the case. When beeing nice with some women I like instead of getting any they came crying to me when they had boys troubel, but not without telling me what he got and I didnt first. Its even worse in a relationship. When acting nice around her the behaviour ranges from irrational to slightly hostiel oh and again few or no sex. When I treat her like dirt however I get what I want when I want (not only in bed).

Answer 1

My bet is that you have a large male member down there...am I right? Either that or you have a lot of money! LOL

Answer 2

Ah, the classic dilemma. This only seems to apply to the majority of western women; we have a great many first and second generation Asian immigrants in this town, and they never seem to go for this act. Curious.

I've pondered the why of it before. My only guess is that a "nice" man is generally perceived as a wimp, boring, or too sensitive. Women will claim that's what they want, but they really don't. A man who exhibits alpha traits (confidence, for one), however, will almost always get the motor running. A guy who treats a woman like dirt is showing that he doesn't care; he's asserting dominance. Girls and young women, usually from homes that lack a strong male figure (i.e., a father), perceive this as attractive.

It's kind of sad, in a way. Then again, so are the guys who are acting like saps thinking it's what women want. A big mess all around to be sure.

Answer 3

Great question. The reason is that women are used to being treated 'nice' by most men. So, they take it for granted that you will treat them 'nice'. And they play hard to get so you'll treat them 'nicer'. However, if you do the opposite by not complying to them, they get insecure and think.. 'what's wrong with me?', and they will try hard to please you. It's hard-wired in their brain. It's not just women, but true for most people. If you treat them too nice or too often, they will take it for granted. 'Nice' guys are usually too predictable to them, so there's no excitement, and also seem too wussy (since they do everything the woman says).

That's the main reason why women like 'bad boys' - because this type is unpredictable and makes them insecure. Unpredictability creates tension, and tension creates excitement.

Answer 4

Please read my whole answer before you get offended. It will sound some like men bashing, but I believe that this kind of stuff does happen, but I don't think all men and all women are like this, either. In our sick society, women are socialized that we are supposed to be nurturers and are supposed to be able to make everyone happy and fix people's problems. Think about it, we raise our kids, kiss their boo boos, we're the emotional support for our children and our friends. And, this practice is fading but still alive, we "take care of our men", too, by doing most of the cooking and cleaning and being sexually pleasing. I don't know how many men I've heard complain about how their wives have "let themselves go" when they look like crap with their baldness, beer guts, and disgusting manners. I'm not saying this is all men and all women by any means, but it does still happen. When a guy treats us like crap, we often feel, subconciously, like we have failed. We feel like it is our fault and if we were more pleasing, he would treat us better. That's why we then go out of our way to give him what he wants. I know, I was this way with my husband until recently. He was a total jerk to me until I quit trying to impress him. I started sleeping on the couch sometimes instead of making sure I was "available" to him. Not to punish him or anything, but just because maybe I didn't feel like laying next to anyone or watching TV all night. I stopped rushing to get a wonderful meal cooked for him to come home fro work to after my 35 minute commute at the end of the day. If it gone done, great, if not, leftovers or carryout. I actually turned down sex, too, when I really didn't want to, not just to play games. I get a lot more respect now. Now, I commute an hour for work and my husband is off for a week. Dinner's ready when I get home every night. I thank him every night for doing whatever he did while I was gone during the day, like I would like to hear sometimes, and I pick up the table and get our daughter ready for bed and lay out her clothes for the next day and do a load of laundry. Trust me, I'm not trying to get even, but just saying "no" sometimes does get more true respect if the guy cares at all about you.

Answer 5

I'm glad you asked that. I was once a very sweet nice guy, and in some instances still am. But past women, and life has made me harder, and meaner at times. The women like it, unless I'm a total ******. (I hate having to censor myself)

I guess girls want a guy who won't put up with sh*t and stand his ground. That is more manly than just saying "ok" or "whatever you want" all the time.

They want a guy with a backbone, but some alot seem to take it to the extreme, which explains the bad-boy complex them like.

Answer 6

you've hit on something. albeit clumsily.

Women don't like to be treated like dirt. But they go for a man that makes "them" think he has something they want, not the other way around. The ways this can be effected are subtle and varied, but you can bet your BUTT that no woman worth bagging in the first place goes for a whiny, sensitive, cloying, stuffed Giraffe proffering hangdog half-a*ss. They'll take perversely passsionate and explosive over soft-stroking, desperate and pathetic ANYDAY.

Women like balls. The feminists around here can deny it all they want. But I and a lot of other folks that have been around a bit know it. But that doesn't mean you have to treat them like dirt to prove you have a pair. But rolling over for whatever demands they make, being simpering and deferential and waiting on them hand and foot will turn them on about as much as the first drunken uncle that jabbed his thumb into their bums.

Answer 7

You question is very rude and rough, I must say. Women who are non-working, I mean housewives had to satisfy either way, if you treat like a dirt or gold, but that's not the way my dear friend. You will get the reply from her when you will be aged.
In case of working wives they would throw you out if she is treated like dirt.

Answer 8

Because, speaking as a representative of the female group of people, girls are weird - and we stupidly have these notions that nice blokes are boring and naughty boys are more exciting. That's basically it. I mean despite the fact that when we think of nice blokes we think "Oh why can't *all* men be like Whatsisname?!" and then we just immediately go for the devil-incarnate antithesis of said person. There is NO rationale to this. It's just how it is. There's possibly some odd sub-conscious theory to it somewhere, but I dunno what it is...

Answer 9

Well depends... If you choose a woman with low self esteem, then it normally means she's afraid of you. One with a high esteem, as you should know, would slap you and kick you out. I personally prefer nice guys, as long as they could take care of themselves and defend themselves.

By the way, a unbeaten woman does not mean a untidy home.

Answer 10

There is alot of confusion about this, but there shouldn't be. It's simple. People want to avoid pain. It's a pain to care about some one else's feelings. If we don't have to, we won't. Nice guys can be blown off, because they won't do anything in retaliation to the woman. Treat a "bad" guy like that though, and there will be hell to pay ! It's all about respect. If you see a "nice" guy with a woman, and she adores him, it's because if she doesn't respect him she knows she will have to answer for it.

Answer 11

My guess, and it's only a guess, is you're choosing women with low self-esteem. That's what it sounds like to me. Sadly, I know a lot of them. A women with a strong self-image and emotional maturity would hightail it the first time she was treated like dirt.