i am 4 months pregnant and he does not know yet and i dont know how to tell him the deal
2007-01-05 00:40:52 · 17 answers · asked by Eliza-beth 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
That will be hard, you really should have told him sooner, if a man loves you he will be there for you in such a traumatic time. It was not your fault what happened to you and he should understand that. The best I can say is to make sure you have a time with him when you can have an uninterrupted talk, and explain everything that happened. If he is a good man, he will stand beside you on this, and if he doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be. Than together, you can talk and make decisions as to what you want to do about the baby, if you want to keep it or have an abortion, or put it up for adoption. Be open and honest about your feelings, honesty is the key to a good relationship, next time be honest from the start, don't wait so long, it will be easier in the long run.
2007-01-05 00:49:45 · answer #1 · answered by gypsyiiiis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for being strong! Not aborting that baby is the bravest most un-selfish act I have read about on Y/A so far. Don't listen to the baby murderers that tell you to get an abortion. It is past the 1st trimester - you can't have one anyway, right?
I think you should go ahead and be straight up with your fiance. He will struggle with it, but he will eventually understand and be supportive of your situation. (that is if he is really worth marrying)
Turning the guy in that raped you is also a good idea. If he did it to you, he will do it to another woman.
Also, have you considered taking this rapist to court for child support and other damages? Obviously he would have no contact with you or the child, other than sending a hefty portion of his paychecks to you, after he got out of prison for what he did.
2007-01-05 14:19:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just come right out and tell him.
You should of talked to him about it before you decided to keep the baby. Do you plan on keeping the baby or giving it up for adoption? These are all things that you should of discussed with your fiancee`. Granted it is your body but, it is also his life as well and he should of been included in the decision because if you keep this baby and he continues to marry you after you kept something like this from him that will be his step child and he will be caring for the baby. You need to tell him now. I am sorry for what happened to you but, you needed to tell someone.Have you talked to anyone about the rape?If not get some counseling or call a rape crisis line. Good luck to you.
2007-01-05 08:51:23 · answer #3 · answered by ws_422 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry that you had to go through that.
Have you kept this secret to yourself for the last four months?
You need to sit down with your husband and tell him...he may be devastated but if he's any man at all he'll see that it is way more truamatic for you. It sounds as if you may be feeling guilty or somehow responsible for what happened.
I don't know the circumstances, but I know that it was not your fault AT ALL, and you are the biggest victim in this whole situation.
Maybe you and your hubby should go to counselling after you tell him.
Good Luck 2 You
2007-01-05 08:48:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well soon he will notice. You do need to speak out. I know that this is a tough thing to do but it will take some time to accept it to. He might think that you would hide other things from him. Please tell him. If he really loves you he will stand by you through this. I was also rape when I was younger but was not it your sittuation with child. He will understand.
2007-01-05 08:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by splashykp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey sweetie i know this maybe hard but you need to come out with it and just tell him the truth. he can probably tell something is wrong anyway trying to hold all of this in .you might think you are not acting funny but he can tell your acting different.if he really cares it wont matter.my son is 23 yrs.old and he dates girls that has kids .
2007-01-05 08:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by Dawn D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him immediately, it is unfair to him not to. I'm sorry for you but do the right thing as soon as possible. Take care.
2007-01-05 08:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I'd tell him before he finds out himself. Tell him quietly when you two are alone and he is in a good mood. If he loves you, he'll understand. I can assure you of that!
Good luck!
2007-01-05 08:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by sαrαн♥mıss ©υяlz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he's your soon to be husband, why didn't you tell him you were raped? you just need to tell him the truth, he should be understanding...I'm sure its a horrible time for you but you need to tell him
2007-01-05 08:43:23 · answer #9 · answered by KP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this right ---
You were raped ---------- and told no one -- not even your soon to be husband ------ hhhmmmmm
Sounds like you were screwing around and got caught (bunn in the oven) and now you made this rape thing up to make it seem like something that it's not ---
2007-01-08 12:43:46 · answer #10 · answered by brainfreeze007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋