I'm out of the country, I have no friends, nor family I could rely on, my husband is filing for a seperation. Where should I go? He is active duty military. For the remainder of my time here, should we continue to be intimate? Do I continue to do his laundry? Do I put a plate aside for him? why or why not? I don't think he's having sex with anyone else, but on the other hand I don't honestly know. I wouldn't put anything past a man. I just don't want to give nor recieve the wrong message. What state should I reside in? I need advise. My family pretty much disown me b/c I've dated outside my race and friends tried to warn me about him.I feel as if I'm in between a rock and a hard plate. Please, someone give advise.
2007-01-05 00:04:28 · 8 answers · asked by Jerry S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he lives this lifestyle of being single, i told him I cant live life as I did last year. No more disrespect!
2007-01-05 00:42:38 · update #1
Yes, he is active duty military. I am a hairstylist and since I've been out of the country I also do housekeeping, manicures and pedicures, I do peoples laundry. No limit here for me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
2007-01-05 00:45:13 · update #2
If he's filing for a separation - you no longer have to acknowledge his existance. Feeding him, and doing his laundry is something a wife does - which he no longer wishes you to be. Get it? I suggest trying to mend fences with your family. If that isn't an option - I suggest trying to find a support group within your community. You may have made a poor decision by marrying this guy, but I'm sure your family love you, and will be happy that it's over. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose.
2007-01-05 00:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants a separation let him do his own laundry and cooking. No, you don't have to be intimate. If you're going to move and it's not to be near friends or family, do an on-line search about cities that have the best job markets, affordable houses, desired night life and such. Start over. Don't put your life on hold until HE decides what your fate is, let alone cater to him. Sounds like he might want to do some exploring but also keep you on the back burner for back-up. No deal!
2007-01-05 00:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by bfwh218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your soon to be ex husband is military? did you work or were you codependent?
I know you could have taken advantage of his career choice and have gone to school, you know a few classes here and there. If so, that way you will be more marketable for employment anywhere and the sky would be the limit for choices to live.
As for family, you can't make anyone accept you, they should love you for any reason no doubt...and it's sad that they don't...
it sounds like you will have to take out time for you and look at what's out there--cities with better jobs, cost of living, schools (if you have small kids), crime rate...the whole nine yards... good luck...the road will not be a piece of cake, but just remember, to get to the calm, you have to go through a storm.
God Bless!
You need to go to a city that demands your skills...ATL, Miami, Dallas, Houston, LA...good luck...
2007-01-05 00:19:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are operating out of fear. What provoked the separation? HAve you behaved disrespectfully towards him? If so, I suggest you change your tactics. Read the book Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs. He is going through a crisis. This book will heal the wounds and change your ideas and thinking for the better. See what happens then. Give him a copy too. Also read the book WILD AT HEART by John Eldredge. It explains men clearly. He might want to read it too.
This is a terribly scary place to be and I know what it feels like. We too went through a crisis but these books changed everything!
Trust God. You have to. He is the retorer of the breach. Turn to him. Repent of the things you know were not nice and trust God to change everything. He will He did it for us and it looked so irrepairable but it wasnt and now 10years later we are so happy together and have deep love and respect for one another.
Be strong and be confidient and dont give in to bad emotions. Act with dignity and integrity.
God richly bless you and may he knit you two together again. He hates divorce and it is not his plan for you. Also read the book The Power of the Praying WIfe by Stormie Omartian
I am going to pray for you.
2007-01-05 00:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you give your a family a call. I have differences with my family but when I needed them, they were there. Your husband is filing for a seperation, you didn't say why but that usually means he doesn't want to be married anymore, so quit acting like you are. He doesn't want a wife, quit being one. Time to look out for number one!! YOU !!
2007-01-05 00:10:36 · answer #5 · answered by annette_642 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is filing for separation, then I suggest you move on with your life. Why would you want to do his laundry, make his dinner, etc? He's made it clear that he doesn't want to be with you anymore, so you continuing to do things for him isn't going to change anything. You'll just be making things harder on yourself. Move on and find someone else.
2007-01-05 00:07:48 · answer #6 · answered by Heather C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to him, come up with a plan together. He can't just put you out! If all else fails, talk to his CO; I'm sure he can help you to figure something out. Best of luck!
2007-01-05 00:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your husband is going to do that to you after you've already given up so much for him, then no i dont think you should do anything for him at all, i think you should just start over with a clean slate, and maybe try to talk to your family again
2007-01-05 00:13:13 · answer #8 · answered by Destiny S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋