ive been wondering, in realtion to my other question at 'what age is average to get married' ..how long is long enough to know your partner and yourself are ready for marriage? lets say youve been with your partner for not so long amount of time, but you two have been talking about the future, how much you love eachother, how muhc you respect eachother, etc etc.
how long must the realtionship build first before getting married?
or is it most important to wait for financial security?
or is it more important to wait for parents to know he is good enough for you?
with all these questions being asked, when is the right time?
2007-01-04 22:01:05 · 8 answers · asked by answer! this 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think there's any one answer that fits most... It's all so individual, so dependent on the circumstances. I tend to be very decisive in my personal life; within the first 2-3 months of knowing a person my mind is usually pretty well made up as to where it is a long-term material or not. Most people probably need longer. My husband and I got engaged about a year after we met, and got married 4 months after (last September). I felt it was a pretty good timeline - although I knew I wanted to be with him after about 3 months of dating. I don't think that waiting for "financial security" or anything like this makes much sense - I mean, it is after all cheaper to run a joint household than the two separate ones, so by working together you might be able to achieve this "financial security" faster. There are circumstances that call for waiting - like both parties being too young and/or inexperienced; but even then - when you're young, this is the time to learn and experiment, and yes, to make mistakes sometimes; it is not the end of the world. I don't regret marrying young (although I later divorced); the experience it gave me in figuring out what is important to me and what isn't was invaluable in making choices later in life, and being more confident in my decision-making ability. I think, bottom line, it really depends on a particular situation. "It is not the end of the world" is what my mom said when she heard my husband of 5 years was filing for divorce out of the blue. And even though at the time it seemed like it might have been the "end of the world", I have come to appreciate her wisdom. I am now married to a wonderful man, and couldn't imagine it being any other way.
2007-01-04 23:52:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me and my husband took a year and a half to get to know eachother better before marriage. If I wasn't working at themoment, I'm pretty sure it would've been for only 3-5 months. But our meeting frequency was low, so that's why it took that long.
I believe the right time would be amongst these things..
1. You've introduced him to your best friend and "group of friends" and neither of them objected to your steady relationship
2. You've introduced him to your sister/brother/dog/cat and neither scratched him on the face
3. You've introduced them to Mom and or Dad and or Gramma and or Gramps and they like him (Moms are usually very good at intuition, so listen to her)
4. He asked you to marry him and you say YES
5. The both of you start doing a financial plan together regarding careers, housing, vehicle, kids, kids' future, etc etc
6. You can fart in front of him with the worst odor and he still laugh if not kiss you while the air is still contaminated
7. Vice versa of #6
8. You can imagine him being ill to death and you waiting by his side every single day of your life without complaining and still loving him with no infidelity..
9. Vice versa of #8
10. Oh yea, I think it'll also be better if the both of you are over 23. Just a thought :)
Good luck :)
2007-01-05 06:12:53 · answer #2 · answered by Zenithia Victora 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In Order
4 years. (my parents 13 years)
I actually knew pretty quickly, but had other things that needed to get done (like finish college etc)
Love is all well and good, but a solid friendship ais vital. Also similar palns, or at least non-interfering plans (like agreeing about children)
being able to support each other is a real plus- being unable to provide is stress hell.
Marrying against your parents wishes makes teh road harder. NOt impossible, mind, but tougher in most circumstances
If you are asking, it isn't the right time yet. Why are you concerned? Were I you, I would adress these concerns first.
2007-01-05 10:45:56 · answer #3 · answered by heathrydge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All those questions you asked are good ones, but it depends on how you and your partner answer them. Don't do anything rash. This is a huge life decision, not many more will add up to it. Take ample time to think alone and collectively.
2007-01-05 06:08:20 · answer #4 · answered by ...huh... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knew him a year, dated for two. You need to be dating someone for at least a year before being engaged, to get to know each other well, and each others' families. You will know when it is right.
2007-01-05 07:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's still like lottery! doesn't matter how long you know each other you never know what it's going to be like when you get married.
2007-01-05 07:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that morning, in June, 2006, i was sitting in the sofa, he was caming from the balcony, smiling at me, full of love, there's beautiful sunshine behind him, everything is peaceful and warm - i know this is the man i am going to marry to...
in Tibet, welcome to our wedding...
2007-01-05 07:25:36 · answer #7 · answered by chloe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when your heart says it's time you will know.
2007-01-05 06:06:07 · answer #8 · answered by amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋