Do you know of any 13 year old girls whom have had twins?

Question

My daughter is 13 years old. We found out yesterday that she is 8 weeks with twins. I am scared to death for her. One being her age and having to go through this. The other being she's having 2!!!! The doctors say there are risks for her and the babies, but they also tell me 11 and 12 year olds have babies. Can anyone relate to this? Any insight will be helpful. My daughter has no clue what she has gotten herself into. So many questions I have with so many answers given. I would feel better if I knew of someone else who may have gone through this. Surely I am not the only one. If you know of a teenager who has had twins, PLEASE let me know of the outcome. At least it would give me an idea of what to expect.

Answer 1

I am sorry I cannot offer advice based on personal experience in this area, and I am also sorry you have gotten so many insensitive, nasty answers. Right now is not the time to play the BLAME GAME! I have a 13 year old girl myself and as I think about your situation these are the things I think I would do:
1) See a family counselor/therapist. If you can't afford it your local hospital can help you find one you can afford or get funding for it.
2) Make sure your daughter is getting good high-risk prenatal care and research the hospital. Chances are there will be complications, most young teens go into labor early and many of the babies need high level specialized care. Choose her caregivers carefully, and if you have a Children's Hospital in your area I would highly recommend them.
3) I would talk openly and honestly with her from the beginning. Discuss all of the obvious options as objectively and matter-of-factly as you can and try to keep your emotions from getting out of control while you discuss the serious things. But DO allow some emotional, open, venting, hugging, crying, holding, screaming, whatever happens to happen. You will both need it. If what she wants to do conflicts with your personal values or beliefs, please be supportive. She is so young. My instinct is to lean toward adoption so all 3 babies will have a chance at a complete life. I had my first at 18 and that was still very, very young.
Please tell her there are many, many people out here in cyberland thinking of you both and accept our good wishes for the best outcome.
Feel free to email me if you would like to talk more.

Answer 2

Look into termination. Its not too late. These babies will ruin her life at this point. She is a baby herself with a lot of life to experience. This may not fit with your personal views but it is your daughter that will have to live her life. Let her decide, and back her. Think of this it will be you who raise these babies she is not ready. She may resent them for all the things she will have to miss out on. She needs and deserves her adolecence, and you need to raise her not babies. She needs your help, love and support, don't judge or ridicule. I had an abortion when I was 19, and I can say I still do not regret it. That guy would never had been a father and I would be in poverty. Now I have 2 kids and a loving, providing father and a good life, because I waited until I was ready. I don't care what some people think of abortion, those people wouldn't care if that baby and I starved to death. Besides I think you know its dangerous for her to have twins or any baby at 13. Her life is at risk. Its never an easy decision, but the life that's already here is the most important. The truth is many, many women have terminated pregnancies. I have heard stats as high as 40%. Back in Jesus's time mothers with unwanted babies left them in the trash heap and it was excepted by society to do so. For her life at this point I think it is the best option. Let her have your grandchildren when she's old enough to do it on her own and when she can truely appreciate what it means to bring a baby into the world.

Answer 3

I dont know about anyone else, but I'm strongly suggesting you look into abortion for this....

this is a child having TWO children. For one, she shouldn't even be having sex. Get her an abortion, then send her a$$ to boot camp....... if its the case that she did it willingly.

Secondly, the child is 13.... which means, there goes her life. And yours. Cause now, you're a mother again. She's not going to be raising these kids. YOU are.

thirdly, I suggest therapy for you. Your child is disrespecting you, and you're going to go through some grieving... both for the loss of yourself, and for the loss of your 13 yr old.

Again, many people will disagree with me, but you have to think... will it be the best decision on everyone for this child to have not one, but TWO children at age 13? And honestly, are you seriously going to be strong backboned mother that you should be and make HER raise the children? I highly doubt it.... cause you're a mother.. you can't be that way with a 13 year old.

I cannot stress enough how much this will ruin not only your life, but the life of your 13 year old. Get the abortion. The spirit of those children will be back to claim their mother once she's ready. Give your 13 year old a chance to live. Would you rather send the twins back, knowing they'll come back, or would you rather watch your 13yr old daughter's life end?

Answer 4

I don't know of any 13 yr olds who had twins but I am careing for a set now to help a friend out who has 5 kids and boy oh boy with my 2 kids it is rough but with todays technology the dr's will take the best care the can give her but things do happen even with older women and her age does play a big risk factor..but what ever happens I will keep you guys in my thoughts ..best of luck and don't stress to much cause then youll miss out on all the OMG !!! goodies haveing a baby has to offer

Answer 5

I am 23 years old with a 8yr old and a 7 yr old girls ( 15 months apart) I was 14 and 15 when I had my girls I felt like I had twins! It is a hard hard time but I would not change it for anything. You just have to make sure she knows that those are her babies and not yours. She needs to be held accountable for her actions. I saw alot of girls in my school get pregnant and dump the baby on there parents. Then they would have another one and it was a endless circle. Feel free to email if you would like to talk.

Answer 6

I had a friend when I was in school who had twins at 14, one of them was a stillborn though, the other one was fine. Her mother raised them. I didn't start hanging out with her until high school. It's terrible for someone so young to be having children and I wish you and your daughter the best outcome possible, whatever that may be.

Answer 7

Hello there. I should tell you right off that I have never known of a girl this young who has had twins. I have however known many girls your daughters age who have had healthy, normal babies and went thru their pregnancy and birth without any problems. I speak to dozens of girls every day and know of countless cases where there are few if any problems involved with a girl this age having a baby.
The important things is this, the possible problems do NOT in any way justify killing two precious little innocent babies. I was horrified when I read the answer from the first individual who answered you. First of all she is relating ONE case and second of all she was wrong to mention the only case that she was aware of and then tell you that the young girl died. It was inexcusable and senselessly cruel. I am sorry you were subjected to that.
Any woman who carries more than one baby is considered to have a high risk pregnancy. A mother that is only 13 years old is considered a high risk pregnancy. As a mother of 5 and a pregnancy counselor for many years I cannot advise you on what decision to make. I have never seen a situation where I felt that abortion was warranted but this case makes me really stop and think.
What you need is the advice of professionals and you need it quickly. You really need to speak to an Obstetrician who specializes in high risk pregnancies and get her opinion. You also need to get some input on exactly how much danger your daughter would be putting herself in. My personal judgement would be that though this is a dangerous pregnancy it is not one that cannot be managed with great care and caution. If it were my daughter I do not think I could bring myself to end the lives of my twin grandchildren. Still, this is one of the rare cases where I would say there are reasons to go either way. I would be terrified and I understand where you are coming from. There are some serious questions that you need to ask yourself also, and the answers have a lot to do with the final decision that you make. What is YOUR health like? Would you be able to take on the demands of two babies? Are you healthy and young enough to make that kind of a commitment? It is my feeling that you would be literally putting yourself in the position of their caregiver. Lets face it, your daughter, when this is over, needs to get back to the business of being a child, she needs to go to school, that is of tantamount importance. Even if she is able to take care of the babies when she is home ( and with homework and other things her time is going to be limited) you are going to be called upon to do most of the work regarding these babies. Do you have a strong marriage? Would your husband be 100% behind you? Would he help and support you?
How old is the boy that is involved? Does his family want to help in any way? Have you even spoken to them? Is there any help coming from that direction? What is their position on all this?
Is there any way that you would be willing to endure this dangerous pregnancy only to give these babies up for adoption? In this case that would be very hard to do.
If you did decide to abort these babies are you prepared for the scars that the decision will leave on your daughter? She will carry that decision all of her life. If she feels that she is coerced into making that decision she will blame you all her life for what she will feel she was forced to do. Having an abortion will not keep her from being a mother, she will be the mother of two dead babies. Even tho she is young, this will break her heart.
You say that she does not know what she is getting into. What are her feelings about all this? What does she want? How is she taking all this?
As you said, so many question and so many answers. The important ones tho are the ones that come from your heart. You need to sit quietly with yourself and listen to that inner voice that every mother has. You inner voice will never lead you astray. Listen quietly and the right answer will come to you. Talk to your daughter, listen to her heart also. I know she is young but what she wants and how she feels has to be taken into consideration. She has been thrust into the role of a mother even tho she is 13 years old. Spend some quiet time with her and the two of you will come to a decision.
I am sorry that I cannot say that I have been through what you are facing. I do see girls your daughters age all the time, but they are not carrying twins, that is the catch. If your daughter was not carrying twins my answer would be much different. I do not know for a fact how much more danger the twins put her in. That is something that you need to find out.
Bless you dear and I will be thinking of you. If for any reason you would like to write to me, please do so. I will be speaking to a Neonatologist who specializes in high risk, multiple pregnancies and I am going to talk to him about this situation. If there is a way to contact you I will do that and if not I will wait to hear from you.
Take care and hang in there. There is an answer to every dilemma.
Once you make a decision be prepared for criticism. There is no way that you can make everyone happy. As long as you can satisfy yourself and your daughter that is all that matters.
I am here if you need me for anything.
Lady Trinity~ p.s. I must add that I am horrified at the answers that you have received! This is NOT your fault and you are not obligated in any way to force an abortion on your daughter. Speak to professionals and do not let the impulsive answers of these people to force a decision on you. You and you alone will know the right thing to do. Your daughter will have a C-section if she does have these babies and no one is going to die from that. (I had 4) These answers seem to dwell on the worse case scenario. Life is not always that way! Keep your chin up!

Answer 8

Above anything else BE SUPPORTIVE!! Is the father of these precious ones around? If not just remind yourself she didn't do this alone and should not go at this alone. Help her anyway you can think of and if you can involve the church. Please don't consider abortion because if God did not want here in this part of her life he wouldn't have allowed it to happen. God does NOT make mistakes. Let us know when the times come any updates.

Answer 9

I can't believe she was having sex to begin with. Keep taking her for regular check ups with the doc cause I know it is dangerous for young girls although they have given birth before.... Good luck and I hope your daughter realizes how much of an impact on her life this will be. I value the fact that you are so supportive as a mother there needs to be more moms like you.

Answer 10

HI LISALH_si
i would like to k now at what age did you have a talk with your daughter about the facts of life.??? Or did you even do that???
you had better get your butt in gear...get her to a doctor quick, so she can have an abortion. you know that would solve everything.
this situation could cost her===her life. my God, she is only 13 years old and definately not old enough to be the mother of twins!! and you know that not only will this affect her life but yours also !!! if you allow your child to have these babies, your life as you know it will be over. and after all is said and done would you please tell her to keep her legs together??? you better make a snap decision because pretty soon she will be past the
abortion time. OMG i cannot believe this has happened......and you do know she is a baby, herself. come on mother, do the right thing. God bless and keep you both safe***i wish your daughter the best of luck...........and you too, i guess.