Hi all. im 14 and recently came out to my parents and family. I find im sure of my sexuality now but am afraid to tell my friends, i want to just let go but i guess i just cant. I guess the question is, what to do?
2007-01-04 21:49:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Anyone in your situation would feel the same right now - I sympathise! It's important to be true to yourself, and it's great that you have discovered your true sexuality.
It must have been really hard plucking up the courage to tell your family like that, so I can imagine how you must feel about telling your friends, but please try not to worry about it. If they are real friends, they will love you for who you are and will want to support you. Don't put on a front any longer, for your own sake. Be yourself, not who others want you to be! Good luck. :o)
2007-01-04 21:58:41 · answer #1 · answered by bookworm89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I came out in my teens and thought that my friends would react negatively to such "shocking" news, however, when I did finally pluck up the courage to tell them their responses were somewhat of an anti-climax to say the least. 10 years on and they're still my friends!
One thing that did happen though was that once I'd told 1 or 2 of them the news spread rapidly amongst them so I didn't have to tell them all seperately and we all ended up "owning" and being proud of my sexuality (and several of my male friends showed more than a passing interest in me).
That was some 30 or so years ago and, living in a small Northern town there were no support groups for gay teens. Luckily, these days there are many such peer groups organising social groups, providing sex education and generally sharing experiences. Is there such a group in your area?
Congratulations on being true to yourself. I wish you a long, happy and fulfilled life.
2007-01-05 06:55:51 · answer #2 · answered by paul h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure of your sexuality and have already told your parents then sooner or later your friends are going to find out. Do you want to tell your friends now? If you do, my suggestion would be to do it with one person at a time, that way they won't react to anyone else's reactions if that other person doesn't take it so well. One on one with friends probably works best for big news. Do you think your friends will accept it? Tell the one you think will accept it the best and tell that person first. Good luck, if you decide to tell your friends hopefully they are true friends and stick with you.
2007-01-05 05:55:15 · answer #3 · answered by Breein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a while, discover yourself a little bit more first, become who you are and build up around you your world. Dont worry about telling other people especially at 14, social conditioning of the mind and people in general may casue you problems, shame but true. Just be you and find your feet, in time all will come out in the wash anyway, plus you dont want to make things more difficult for yourself?
2007-01-05 08:43:39 · answer #4 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey hun. I was 14 when I came out to my family and friends too. I don't think there's any 'right' way to come out - you need to do it in a way that will work for you; your personality, needs, environment and your lifestyle. Some people like to make a big announcement, so that from that point on they can express themselves and their sexuality freely at all times without ever having to edit themselves or hide their sexual orientation. Others benefit from telling only their close friends who they know will be discreet with the information and support them, to prevent gossip spreading, and to keep their personal lives private. One of the things that you need to think about before deciding what to do is consider your school environment. If you come out to a group of your school friends it is likely that news will spread and you will become well-known for being gay. You may or may not be comfortable with that idea, and you need to make decisions with that factor in mind. In a liberal school environment where you know you will be supported, it could be very liberating. In a more conservative or religous school, you may be likely to come across problems with prejudice, and if you don't want to deal with this you need to make sure that you make decisions to help you avoid it.
Here's what happened for me:
I came out to a few of my closest friends who I knew would be supportive. I then got involved with some gay youth groups, which gave me the confidence to come out to my family and start being proud of my sexuality. Through the youth group I had an oppertunity to talk about queer youth culture on TV, which everyone at my high school seemed to have watched and gossip spread quickly. I went to a relatively conservative, upper-class, all-girls high school, so I was a little concerned about prejudice etc. But I recieved a lot of encouragement from everyone - teachers, religious friends, even people who I didn't know. It was a wonderful experience in many ways. What I hadn't anticipated was that I became known by everyone (and I went to a very large school) as "the lesbian". This was both positive and negative. Positive because it encouraged other queers in the school to come out too. I was able to help people talk through their issues and come out, which is how I met my first girlfriend. The negative aspect was that because I was so well known for being gay, there were people who knew me only as "the lesbian", and would judge me on that and nothing else.
So my advice, I guess, is to try to get an understanding of what you want (i.e. if you want everyone to know, or just a few close friends) and make decisions that will help you achieve that. If you're not comfortable with the idea of being known as "the queer", make sure that you only tell friends that you can trust not to spread the gossip.
Hope that helps! Sorry I got a little carried away!
2007-01-05 06:41:50 · answer #5 · answered by hannah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I came out to my parents I did a lot of googling. Out.com, HRC.com both have some good articles about coming out... I also purchased two books for my parents to read, although I doubt they ever did... No idea what they were called, but I believe they were referenced in those articles... good luck!!!!
2007-01-05 08:20:52 · answer #6 · answered by tomi27410 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must of been very difficult to tell your parents and not knowing what their response would be. Tell your closest friend and if they are a true friend they will give you there 100% support to you. Nothing will change between you tell them you will always be friends. be prepared to get some verbal abuse from others try and ignore it they will soon find someone or somethink else to tease.
2007-01-05 05:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by Ding Dong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chances are you won't have to tell all of your friends before the word spreads...you may well find out who your true friends really are. Good luck and congrats on coming out to your parents..that can be a tough thing to do.
2007-01-05 06:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 20 and still haven't told my friends that I'm gay. You are not alone. I'm worried about losing them, although I know I shouldn't be. Both you and I need to realize that if they are really our friends, they will accept us regardless of our sexual orienation.
2007-01-05 10:46:45 · answer #9 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STEFAN!!! Is this LG?! Lol sorry I brought that up...
Um, act like yourself? That's what I do. When my friends ask if I'm gay or not, I either change the subject or start babbling about something else lol.
2007-01-05 07:29:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋