Swinging is it good for a relationship and whould you do it or do you?

Answer 1

No way. And no way!

Answer 2

I hate to be what seems the only opposing voice here but my wife and I have been into the swinging lifestyle for over a year. Just like anything else you will get out of it what your true intentions are. Communication is key...not just afterward but way, way, before. You should really discuss what are the real reasons you want to decide to do this. This is not a decision you can just take back. There is nothing wrong with living out fantasies and to have an open communication with your partner.

Answer 3

Though I am not into the swinging lifestyle, I shall play the devil's advocate here for the purpose of giving the enquirer a more balanced thought.

First and foremost, we must not perceive swinging as something "dirty" but rather a form of unique lifestyle. Different people like it for different reasons.

Here's two I can think of:

1) Sexual Reality/Experimentation

It is a fact that nobody can actually perform missionary position (or any other sexual position) on another person for the next 20-40 years. That is also why you have the invention of sex toys, sex therapy, sex books, etc. Let's not even forget the excitement of doing it in the car, theatre to the wine cellar and public toilet just to name a few!

After a while, a couple needs to spice up their sex lives by engaging in different (doesn't necessarily means deviant) experiments to make their love lives more complete (or exciting) than it already was. There is absolutely nothing wrong with improving your sex life while keeping fidelity intact.

Swinging is but one form of such experiments. In any case, at least it is a lifestyle done in discreet places with no severe legal repercussions (imagine you get caught doing it in public places ala Hugh Grant or George Michael).

2) Sexual Honesty/Confidence

More often than not, we all have our own little sexual secrets. It can be anything from a fellatio to a role play. For those who engage in swinging, it is but one of these little secrets. Rather than keeping quiet about it, why not embrace it with your better half?

If he/she doesn't like it, it stops there. If he/she doesn't mind trying it, it might be the first step to sexual honesty/confidence! At the every least, the man/woman who initiated needs not feel repressed resulting in infidelity at a later stage.
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I am not advocating swinging as a lifestyle for all. But it has its merits. I believe a great deal of people out there do not know the real idea of swinging. They are probably thinking along the line of a typical gangbang, mass orgy, bukkake (ejaculation fest.), etc.

In all honesty, there are different "levels" of swinging. You have the "watch and be watched soft swing", the "touch and be touched soft swing" to the "full swapping hard swing" or even the "gangbang or threesome hardswing". These are just some of them. There are simply too many to name.

But the "best" part about this lifestyle is that most swingers adhere to the No. 1 Golden Rule of Swinging which is to be non-pushy. There are black sheeps but more often than not most of them would tell you that if you don't like it, you don't have to do it. Simple as that.

Lastly, it must be said that the level of participation is purely about free-will. Everything is dependent on your level of tolerance. So is the same for everything else in life don't you think?

Answer 4

Yes, it can be good for a relationship depending on the couple. And yes it has been good for ours.

Those who have been barking about it like a scared-agressive chihuahua are opposing it because they don't understand it. Those who have said that they admittedly don't understand it, and therefore couldn't say either way (although they didn't feel it was right for THEIR relationship) got a thumbs-up from me. I have a real problem with people who make strong statements about something they have no direct knowledge of. And when I say 'direct knowledge', that means 1st hand experience. NOT horror stories from all their ex-swinger friends and neighbours. If I heard their stories in detail, I'll bet I could point out WHY it didn't work for them!

The thing about swinging is that it's like holding up a mirror to yourselves and your relationship. Once we do that, it's no longer possible to ignore the flaws that we see in ourselves. Avoiding looking in the mirror doesn't make the fact that you have a character flaw go away. It just means you can go on ignoring it.

When you start swinging, it reveals all your worst fears, your worst motivations, your biggest insecurities...all those things you are most afraid of your spouse finding out about. It takes a great deal of trust to just lay your bare souls up on the table like that, with brutal honesty, and beg one another to not stop loving us for being exactly who we are. But once you've done that, there's nothing left to be afraid of. It's a very radical way of taking all the 'moving parts' out of a relationship. It strips the relationship down to its barest essentials. The couple is not together because they are obligated to be, but because they want to be for no other reason than because they choose to be. It also requires that we do a self-check every day: "Am I the kind of person that my spouse would choose to come home with? Would he marry me again today if I asked him?" We need to ask this of ourselves because we no longer allow ourselves the "luxury" of offering our partner outstanding sex as a reason to stay with us. We have made that freely available from other sources. So what else is it about our relationship that keeps us together? Sex is the 'moving part' that can break our relationships. One or both of us can conceivably break our agreement by making the mistake of having an affair. When you negate the need to sneak around by promoting complete honesty, you take away one of the biggest points of conflict in a relationship. I no longer have to worry about jealousy or wonder if my husband will cheat on me. It doesn't fix everything, but it certainly makes for clearer, more effective communication in resolving the other stuff.

Answer 5

A big NO NO, and good to you all that agree. This "swinging" business is defo no good if you are in a relationship. As it can lead to many insecurities about partners within the relationship, such as honesty and trust.

I have never and would never trust a partner who said to me that they would like to go to a swingers party, as I would not be able to trust that person as it would always be in the back of my mind that this is something that they think or fantasize about. So what grounds is that for any relationship.

I am just so glad that I have my man, and am extremely happy with him. And we are capable to keep the fire burning in our relationship and exercise our fantasies with each other and he loves it as do I.

If you are in a relationship, dont do it! How about experimenting with other things just the two of you.

Good Luck and I hope you do not make a mistake, and regret it.

BEWARE!!!!!! STD'S

Answer 6

I think that there CAN be some good, healthy relationships with swinging. I think there's a LOT that aren't, and I don't think that I'm the type of person that would be able to handle that, so I would never do that in any of my relationships.

Answer 7

I think it has NO place in a relationship. If your with one person you should be with that person only. It is what makles falling in love and caing so special you can shae only intimate moments together and can only please one another. Thats what makes the bond in couples strong. No one else does what i do for you... we are closer that way. I would never do it then the relationship would shatter the bond would be gone and so wouold the trust even if we both agreed to do it it would destroy the relationship. If you want to have sex with alot of people and not just your loved one then date openly and see other people and just be friends with benefits. in my opinion

Answer 8

dont think it is gd 4 relationships, I used 2 work with someone into swinging, her life was a never ending rollercoaster of emotions, suppose it depends on the kind of person u r! its not 4 me though

Answer 9

I guess it's good for a relationship if that is part of your agreement. I don't have an open relationship...at least in 20 years I have never cheated on my partner...I'd like to talk to him first before I did it if I wanted to.

Answer 10

Swinging is for sad, out of shape middle aged people, who are too ugly to pull in the normal way. So instead they all meet to bang each others wives. I couldn't think of anything worse.

Answer 11

Never felt the swinging call, but one day i feel that urge, with no doubt i will go for it.