My lover wants me to slap him real hard in the face, then spit on him as we both climax...he says it will be a 'bonding' exercise, but to me it borders on abuse...
2007-01-04 20:42:19 · 16 answers · asked by Ashley 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes, I have told him how I feel. He says it will be 'pretend' role play victim fetish. so he wants me to 'fake' hurting him???
2007-01-04 20:51:01 · update #1
If either one of you is not okay with the idea then it is not a bonding exercise. Some people like rough degrading play, others don't. Sounds like you don't. So your lover needs to accept that and find some other fantasy that you would be willing to do.
2007-01-04 20:46:22 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i was 18 or so, I started seeing my first boyfriend and he was into exactly the stuff you described your man is asking you to do to him. I told myself that if I love him, i'll try and do it. Funny thing is while i slapping him around, I felt nothing. I wasn't excited or upset by it, just nothing. But later, I felt bad and everytime I saw anything that resembled our sex-life (watching jackass) i was uncomfortable and each time, i suppressed those feelings. All this of course took a toll on our relationship, which wasn't that great to start with. I resented him more and more for everything, even things that had nothing to do with him. So what i'm trying to say here is, no matter how much you love someone don't change who you are or lose a part of yourself. Sometimes it takes a while to find what you've lost back.
2007-01-05 12:11:13 · answer #2 · answered by kidkill18 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course I would..but your situation would make me really uncomfortable...just the slapping on the face part (whats a little body mucous between partners:)) Mostly I guess because it's just degrading and I wouldn't take that behaviour from someone else----but if it were really important to him,of course I'd try (I don't know how convincing I would be though)..It's odd --it wouldn't really bother me at all to smack him really hard on his @ss..but the face really strikes me too, as being abusive.
2007-01-05 04:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do it, but only after a lot of talk and discussion. I'm a firm believer in trying everything at least once (who knows? you might get into it and like it, too), and if you can stomach it, doing what you can to help your lover get his/her rocks off, as you'd expect them to do for you.
But the key is to talk, not just for him to ask you something, you to wonder and worry, and then do it. You need to sit down and talk about why he wants it (the whole 'bonding exercise' thing sounds weird and fishy to me), why you feel uncomfortable with it (though not being accusing or judgemental of him), and how you two can both get what you want with that great little thing known as compromise. Not only will talking prepare you, but you can both get into one another's heads and understand where you're coming from and see if it's worth it to do it (and have you feeling uncomfortable) or worth it to not do it (and leave him unsatisfied). Or, again, trying to find a happy medium.
Although you don't have to force yourself to be okay with it, remember that if he asks for it, it isn't abuse, and its presumably something that pleases him, but simply seems foreign to you because you're not sexually wired to find it arousing.
Whatever you two choose to do, good luck.
2007-01-05 05:15:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love it! LOL! I would love to smack my partner in the face sometimes, I would use that time to take out my aggression and slap the ISH outta him. LOL!
But yes I would do for my partner some ol pornographic freaky mess that I might not like. Why? Becaus ewhat you wont do, someone else will. And I dont want my partner to ever say I never tried.
2007-01-05 09:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by david s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Do you know what BDSM is? If not, maybe you should look it up. It seems like your partner is either:
A.) Into BDSM (refer to link under SOURCE) and wants to be dominated and slapped around like in a fantasy.
OR
B.) He wants you to hit him so he can call you an abuser and claim half of what you own in court.
You know him better than we do, so I am sure you would be able to ask him openly. Also I think he wants to to be a "BondAGE" exercise, not a "bonding" exercise!
2007-01-05 04:49:46 · answer #6 · answered by ♫♥♫Teagan♦Smiley♫♥♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he know how you feel? If not, why not?
A lot of people respond to playful abuse.
The problem is not the pain he'll feel but your discomfort inflicting it. This may be a role you two can learn to play. Or it may just pass as a dumb idea.
Keep talking and listening.
2007-01-05 04:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt even if he wants me to...I just dont like to hurt my mate. If he still wants you to do it (having told him your opinion) how about you guys act AS IF you're slapping him (but ofcourse you wont be slapping...I mean mime it) ?
2007-01-05 07:15:22 · answer #8 · answered by Shady E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be more than willing to try it a few times. I am very open minded about trying new things sexually, especially things that do not hurt me.
2007-01-05 13:53:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my wife makes me slap her face hard. I dont like hitting my wife but she gets off on it.
2007-01-05 06:05:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋