I recently separated from my daughters father,?

Question

he is being very rude to me in front of our daughter. I don't care what he says to me, it's just words and I know that he is hurt and angry.
He doesn't understand that I just don't love him any more. I didn't want to hurt him, but I was so unhappy with the way things were, but he cannot say these things to me in front of our child.
Anyway, now I can't even look at him without a nasty comment being thrown at me.
How can I get him to stop doing this in front of her? If I try to talk to him about it, it makes him worse. I don't want to fight, but this can't go on.
Has anyone had any similar experiances?
Sensible advice only please - there is a child involved, Thanks.

Answer 1

explain to him what you said here. children have tough times anyway, so you are making that worse. speak to him using civil language.

Answer 2

I was mentally abused for years by my ex-husband, and my 2 daughter's witnessed that. The only way to remedy this situation is to separate. It not be may be the only answer to your problem but I think it's the most sensible one. It seems, in my experience, that when things have had a chance to calm down between the two of you, you find that you get along better living by yourself. It will give you a chance to gather your inner strength, and give your daughter a break from witnessing this kind of behaviour. I hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 3

Oh yes, plenty of experience.
I do not have direct contact with that person. We text message each other on issues or talk on the phone and try to be civil.
We trade the child back and forth through a third party. Life is much more peaceful.
Tell your ex that he is only damaging his daughter and if he doesn't stop the insults in front of your daughter then you will file a compliant and take him to court.

Answer 4

If you have to see your ex to discuss things, isn't there anyone who can look after your child while you see him?

He is going to say hateful things to you because his pride is hurt.

If not tell him that because he is so abusive, if he wishes to talk to you, he must do it through your Solicitor.

It doesn't look as though there has been a marriage between you two,so you probably think, I haven't got a Solicitor,then get one,tell him what's happening and I'm sure he will, for a small fee send your ex a letter to that effect.

Or you can always make arrangements for a Social worker to be present , hopefully he will be less abusive in front of your child.

Good luck, and congratulations on having the guts to get out of a relationship that was going knowhere for you.

Answer 5

having been through this 11 years ago when my children were much younger i saw the effect that his can have on children i tried all sorts having him the children back at my mums a friends etc but in the end the only way i got it to change was with a solicitors letter explain how damaging this was to the kid and that if he didn't stop id apply to the courts for an injunction it never came to that but it made him stop and think about the kids good luck and remember you DONT have to explain his actions to the children just be their and down get drawn into the arguments and nasty comments p s keep smiling it gets better

Answer 6

Is there a way the two of you can talk together without the child having to hear? Maybe if you met at a public place, and tried to talk to him about what he is doing to your daughter with his outbursts. Find a calm way to say this.
The other way is to talk to a lawyer, to see what can be done about this. I feel those "classes" are just a way of telling you 'dont talk badly about your ex' type of thing-they dont understand the hurt feelings, or they would've suggested counseling instead (now that would help!). You could also get counseling for yourself and your daughter, to help you deal with this, as well.

Answer 7

Even if you don't care what he says to you can you imagine how awful it must be for a little girl to hear horrible things being said to her mummy? Especially by her daddy, because these are the two people in the world who she loves and they love her and she is going to end up getting very confused as to what love actually is.

Somehow you have got to make sure she doesn't get to hear or feel this vibe between you. Good luck.

Answer 8

U must be a ***** like my Mrs's I never cussed yelled or shouted or threatened her in any way or form for 23yrs then while I was working over seas she moved me out, and she never worked in our married life. The problem I have now she don't seem to think how much a man thinks of his kid and its mother.
I now shout cuss and know she is the most stupid woman amongst many ! consider what ya say and do and don't piss him off.
he may expect the world or you to drop and hear his prob.
BTW what are ya saying to piss him off............. I just need to hear something stupid from my ex for me to snap, and no I don't like it one bit when I do ??
so its sorta like a dance... it takes two to tango and there is allways one whom has to lead ! take the lead and control him use reverse sociology.
I am sorry ya dealing with a man whom wont understand and never will but be strong

Answer 9

i have been divorced now for 6 yrs and im still getting crap
i didnt want to hurt him just didnt love him anymore
the kids have been in the middle for the last 6 yrs and now he has fallen out with my daughter she has made her own mind up bout him
i have everything thrown at me but if he comes to pick your children up then let them go to the door themselves you dont have to look at him
just remember that it WILL be worth it in the end
teach your children to ignore him and explain that dad is only angry with you and not them
as long as they have a loving mother who they know they can tell anything in the world then they will turn out ok
good luck
whatever they throw at us we can put up with
it just proves that you were right to get rid in the first place
xx

Answer 10

I believe time will cease the angry. Maybe you can try not contact or talk to him directly for sometime. Even there are issues, let the man to say or do. You cant change a man, but you can change yourself, that may turn things around. good luck.

Answer 11

i think u shood juss like set him down and tell him how u feel, cuz it is really messed up 4 a guy 2 b messed 2 u infront of ur daughter then 1 day she mite hav a husband or b/f who treats her like that.