I just came out last night... my parents are fine with it, they just dont want me to make any life altering commitments right now becuase I am only 16, my mom said dont make a promise to my current girlfriend that we will spend the rest of our lives together because if something ever happens it will be really hard on both of us, so it is better to not make any strong commitments to each other, she suggests telling her that my promise is to be completely honest with her and that if anything ever happens that I will tell her and that I do want to be with her forever but I cant promise right now that we will... what do you think?
2007-01-04 17:51:21 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I think your mom is right, I did that once and found out what I wasn't told. Me and my ex were in love big time and we made commitments, 2 months later our relationship went down hill, notice how I said my ex?
Just take it slowly and day to day, for everyone, no matter sexual orientation, gender etc, there is that one person meant for us, don't put your anchor in the water just yet, cause you may have to move to another spot.
2007-01-04 17:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by Drew 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm with all the people who say take it slow and easy. Your mum(clearly a cool woman) is right in what she says.
I don't want to sound patronising (and I'm only 9 years older than you) - but 16 is not the age to make life-long commitments. In a few years you will be going to Uni, meeting new people, and having new experiences. No matter how mature you feel, you still have alot of growing up to do (as we all do, lol).
So enjoy being with your girlfriend, enjoy every moment - but the sad truth is it may (may) not last. If you really care for each other, then the relationship will grow, and you will learn to accommodate the changes in each other (I am assuming she is a similar age).
I do know of one couple (straight) who met in primary school, got married at 18, and are still together in their 60s - but they have had a lot of tough time, and have had to work hard at it.
Enjoy your life - and I wish you all the best.
.
2007-01-04 19:52:11 · answer #2 · answered by abetterfate 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got into my first lesbian relationship with I was 16 too. It was a wonderful, loving and rewarding relationship, and one that will always provide me with wonderful memories. It lasted two years, and we now have a very loving friendship (but we are separated and see other people). I agree with your mum. I think that while you can commit to loving and caring about someone for a lifetime, you can not promise that a romantic relationship will last 'forever' - at least not while you're so young. Life throws up all kinds of issues and obstacles, and the best commitment that you can make at that age is to looking after yourself. You have a lot of living and learning and growing (as a person) ahead of you, and you need to be able to embrace that without having to put someone else's needs before your own.
Good luck!
2007-01-04 19:41:02 · answer #3 · answered by hannah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give your mom a big hug for me! She's right, you're too young to be promising to spend the rest of your life with someone. You and your girlfriend have your whole lives ahead of you. Maybe this is the girl for you, maybe not. A lot can happen and there are no guarantees. Take it one day at a time and be truthful with each other. And keep the line of communication open with your parents. You're very lucky to have parents that understand and will stand by you. I'm sorry, I left dad out! Give him a big hug for me too!!
2007-01-04 23:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Eat At The Y 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Still in senior high then to college.
That's the path your parents are advising you & your partner to take. Letting time seal and strenghten your partnership with time.
There will be ups & downs and fights. Then comes a major fall out, will the relationship survive?
In college, same uni or different that are state apart?
Your parents have accepted you & your partner and dont want the both of you hurt badly. Stick to the current committments and see what happens in the future.
Best of luck on your relationship and hopefully to celebrate 5, 10 years....being together as a couple.
GS04 :)
2007-01-04 17:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by gs04 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you have awesome parents, and your mom gives good advice. :)
I got married at 19...and let me tell you, I was too young. My husband and I separated within two years. Fortunately, we met again when we were 30, and our relationship now is much better than it EVER was when we were teens. We've remarried, and things are wonderful.
Take it easy with your girlfriend. Take it slow. Engagements, whether legal or not, are a serious commitment. I agree with your mom - tell her you want to be with her forever, but don't promise it.
2007-01-04 17:57:27 · answer #6 · answered by Meg M 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think just be honest with your girlfriend and take tings a day at a time. If things work out, the relationship could last a lifetime. If not, enjoy the years you two have together.
2007-01-04 18:18:27 · answer #7 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sexual preference is emerging at 16. You may be same, maybe even both, and at this point not opposite. Coming out is fine, but jumping out is another. You need to find that environment that makes you happy, and if that is with another person, great.
But as you are coming out, others are hiding. Taking it slow. What you see may not be what is there. Sexual preference may be genetically wired in, and you might know how your are wired but you never know how others are.
For example, could you love a woman who is in love with you and another man? Or your girl friend who decides she is better off with a man?
Sweet sixteen is exactly that. It is a time of leaving the childish and become an adult. It is a fun yet difficult time. So remember, there are three kinds of preferences, some you can live with, some you can not.
Welcome to the outside.
2007-01-04 18:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by J. 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
your mom sounds cool.
I don't the reason that she told you not to tell your girlfriend that you will be together forever isn't because she has issues with your sexuality but because you are still young.
Around your age (no matter if they are gay or straight) it is common to thank that you are always going to be with the person you are with forever. When the odds are you aren't.
2007-01-04 18:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by goldenbrowngod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not only are you lucky enough to be a Lesbian in Love,
but you got a wonderfully wise woman for a mom too!
2007-01-04 20:42:10 · answer #10 · answered by taowhore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋