I'm still not over this. Its been so long. I haven't done anything and suddenly my friend does not want to speak to me anymore. We graduated from school and live in different states. I thought that I would be able to keep in contact but its always been a one way street and never got return calls. I stopped calling but lately I find myself depressed, unable to eat well or sleep well and contemplate what it is that would cause my friend to completely ignore me. Keep asking myself questions and in great despair. But the last time I called I was told not to and told that I was never a friend to this person which I know is untrue. I kept asking what I did and was not given an answer. What should I do? Its not easy to put this behind me. But it tops my resolution for 2007. Any sensitive and serious advice is appreciated.
2007-01-04 17:37:41 · 18 answers · asked by kowalley 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
you know.... if that person don't see it that way, they don't want to be your friend.... why are you hanging on, they are lots of great ppl out there... make more friends meet more people, let them go ... call them up.. get your closure talk, and move on finally
you will be happy again
2007-01-04 17:51:46 · answer #1 · answered by tele t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write a letter in a love letter format and ask what this person feels you have done. Let them know that, after this, you will respect their wishes and not try to contact them further if you don't hear from them. Use this opportunity to voice your side of this problem. That is what is really bugging you. You have no clue what this person's major malfunction is, right? Just ask. Point blank. They are obviously upset about something, so just ask. What do you have to lose? At the very least, put in the letter that you have done nothing wrong, and that if they want to throw away the previous relationship for no good reason, then you know you have no control over their destructive decision, but that you think they are dead wrong for supposedly having been your friend, but now being too weak and cowardly to let you know what is really bugging them. You don't need that type of friend complicating your life, wish them well in the future and drop the thing in the mailbox. You take a deep breath and just enjoy closure, understand? What is bugging you is the unknown, particulars about exactly what has supposedly occurred, when they are really not necessary. You just need closure so you can move on. Your resolution for 2007 should be to get closure for yourself once and for all about this particular relationship, but try one more time to communicate and air your views. If you are spurned after that, this person doesn't deserve you for their friend. At least you will know that you tried your best, and that there is something wrong with them not you, ok? Please know that I am wishing you the best luck in this heartbreaking situation. Just be happy with yourself no matter what this person decides. Happiness comes ultimately from within, ok? Good luck!
2007-01-04 17:51:01 · answer #2 · answered by Genius Squirrel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's very strange. You sound mature, like if I thought this was some high school question I'd ignore it, since young girls notoriously act like this, but this is really puzzling I must say. Maybe it's a big misunderstanding, like think BIG... could there have ever been a misunderstanding regarding any relationships... like she somehow thinks you were involved with her bf/husband, etc? I really am just speculating, but if you're mature adults she must have SOME reason, right? Perhaps she is just cutting off all contact to "start anew"... maybe she did something to hurt YOU and she regrets it and just wants to start over without you knowning... honestly I'm baffled myself. Try a last-ditch effort, like write her a letter or call one last time, explain you want her friendship, you're confused, etc. then just leave it. I've heard of strange things like these happening before... I think you realize that your speculation is getting you nowhere... it sucks but I think you'll probably just have to move on. Some people just are not true friends. It really could be anything... maybe she's in the witness protection program (doubt it), maybe she's getting back at you for something... I really have no idea. Just think hard for a bit then let it go. Good luck :)
2007-01-04 17:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by Principessa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all i'm sad that you are now in this situation. However i'm glad that you contintually making effort to established and bring back your long season friendship. I say you just keep on making effort to win back your friend cause a true friend can never be bought, it is priceless! However i may suggest that you have to give your friend a little time or space to breath whatever the cause of what is happening. Because all of us needs sometime to think, refresh, relax, take some fresh air especially when we are tired, bored or having a difficult problem or situation.
After a few sometimes try to get in touch again with a positive approach. Avoid blaming and questioning, just offer the good things you used to do with your friend. Oh, one thing more before i forgot, Pray for it, ask help from above..!
2007-01-04 18:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by agapetos 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would like to say that the lack of return calls may not have anything to do With anything you may have or have not done. Sometimes we have certain expectations of what our life will be after graduation and we usually share these with our friends and for some it does not work out the way they say it will and it is easier to not talk to these friends than to admit that things went wrong. I would not call again , but if you have this friends address I would wright just once and let them know that I am willing to work out any problems between you and are there if they need to talk about anything.If you get no response it may be time to let it go and not beat yourself up.
2007-01-04 18:26:06 · answer #5 · answered by whitepeach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what that you have said is all true and you are not leaving anything out,there can be two possible reasons {i} She has heard or possible seen something that has put her in this mood. {2] She is going through some type of a personality issue brought on by several factors possible depression caused by a chemical imbalance { this happened to a relative of mine lately and after treatment everything has returned to normal} I think you should forget about it and let it ride for awhile but be nice when the opportunity presents itself. you have done your part and if she doesn't come around shortely MOVE ON.
2007-01-04 18:00:40 · answer #6 · answered by EL-BRAY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That "friend" is not a friend. People are strange and do the strangest things. Sometimes offenses are purely in the persons mind and not in reality. There is nothing you can do to change that. If they believe something false about you, they still believe it. You need to move on. I mean that. Don't keep calling her. You will only appear annoying and weak. Work, exercise, read a good book, garden, study electricity, join a Spanish learning group, anything. You will meet real friends who share your interests.
2007-01-04 17:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has email or fb then deliver her a comfortable, polite message asking what's incorrect. deliver it to all obtainable addresses and money owed she has. merely say which you have have been given properly-known one yet another a protracted time and you do no longer think of it is honest that she merely decrease you off. If she would not come back to you, then she's for sure no longer a stable pal, yet supply her the earnings of the doubt for the 2d, merely in case somebody gave up the ghost or she's sick or something that's no longer her fault.
2016-10-06 11:24:18 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have other friends in common in your former town where you lived, call them and find out what the problem is with your former best friend. There must be something serious and maybe you can talk it out or write a letter.
2007-01-04 17:40:44 · answer #9 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is ur frd,she wldnt just ditch u for no reason.i know the same thing has happened to me b4.but thats besides d story.like u said she still doesnt wanna answer to ur ques etc,its not worthi thinking abt ur frd though i knwo its easier saying thaan doing it.but trust me,u dont deserve to b in this kinda situation.move on.ull find more frds - after all there r other fishes in the sea :)
A FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO WALKS IN WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD HAS WALKED OUT!! - rem that!!
2007-01-04 17:46:29 · answer #10 · answered by Simply Me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋