DId my sister hurt my baby?

Question

I have a very good natured five month old. I left him with my sister for half an hour today while I took our mom shopping, and when I came back he was screaming blue murder... absolutely hysterical and inconsolable. He screamed for almost two hours after I left with him. I couldn't find anything physically wrong - and I hate to suspect my sister - but I think she did something to make him cry like that.

Obviously I won't leave him with her again, but I wondered what a person could do to a baby to upset him that much with no physical signs! My sister is a bit of a ***** and I wouldn't put it past her to hurt my boy. I feel just terrible. He is better now but it was so unlike him... my husband feels the same way.

Input appreciated. THanks all.

Answer 1

When my good natured and happy son was 5 months old, I left him with his Grandma (who takes great care of him) and his Aunt (who also takes great care of him) so that my boyfriend and I could go to the movies for my birthday. We called home as soon as the movie ended, and he was screaming bloody murder in the background. He had started screaming from about 10 minutes after we left, through the 2 1/2 hour movie, and the whole way home. The reason? I'd never left him for more than a few minutes before, and he had a fit when I wasn't around. If there were no signs of injury, then your son was probably missing you. Yes, my son cried for a while after I got home, too, because he was upset.
Have you ever cried because you missed someone? if so, did you cry after they were back? I have (yes, I was a child when I did). I missed my mom so much that I cried and cried... when she came back, I couldnt' stop crying. I held onto her and cried for another hour, scared that if I let go she would leave again. I can't say what goes on in a babys mind, but that's what I think happened with my son, and possibly with yours.
If you are worried about her hurting your son, then don't leave him with her again.

Answer 2

Babies do thinks that you, as a parent, don't anticipate. One thing is for sure, children know who they prefer. Five month old babies know who they prefer, too. Perhaps you had never left your kid with anyone until now. Perhaps your baby sees that you resent your sister somehow. Goodness, the baby is probably wondering why you left him with someone you don't like (You did call her a bit of a *****). Maybe the baby was just not well and then you left him with someone else.

Also, while babies are very intuitive in many ways (way more intuitive than seems reasonable), they don't have a good idea of time and don't get that you were going to come back. Moreover, babies are going through great changes during this period. Maybe he's going through a phase whereby he cries a little bit and isn't as good natured and this stressful experience of leaving him with someone you don't like set him off. Who knows?

Most of all, kids scream bloody murder sometimes. As a father of two young kids, I can attest to that. No child doesn't scream bloody murder once in a while. It seems like a natural thing. My youngest gets upset when I leave him at the day care and is a little fussy the whole time. The first time I did it, it was full on crying. Eventually, he'll get better and better.

You just can't blame your sister. You don't like her, that is clear. But you have no proof other than a child who has absolutely no injuries and may have been upset because you don't like your sister and picked up on that. It's your kid and you can leave him with your sister or not, but unless there is something physical you can point to, you have no proof whatsoever. If you blame your sister for something non-existant, you'll really put stress into your whole family. Don't do it.

By the way, why do you think so badly of your sister that you wouldn't put it past her to hurt your kid during a 30 minute time span? (Was it really 30 minutes or was it longer?) People don't hurt babies unless the person is really messed up (not that there aren't too many messed up people out there). Would you really believe that your sister would hurt your kid? If she's that bad of a person, she needs major psychological help. But for you, whether she's that bad of a person or not, you need to talk to someone to work out the issues that your relationship with your sister has created for you. Good luck and take care.

Answer 3

The baby may have been crying for something while you were gone or just been upset because he missed you if you haven't been away from him much. Your sister might have found him to be inconsolable and gotten frustrated and upset. From what you wrote I get the feeling she isn't used to being around small children. She may have lost her temper and screamed at him to shut up or something of the like. This seems like it would have caused the outcome you described.
If you aren't sure about anything being physically wrong, you may want to check with a doctor if your intuition is feeling uneasy. He may have been shaken.
Do not leave your sister alone with him, but watch to see how she acts around him when you are there. Does she avoid him like she would if she felt guilty of something?
You could also ask your sister if she thought his behavior seemed off while she had him and ask if anything happened during that time. If he hurt himself somehow maybe. Try not to seem accusing to her. As her sister you should know her well enough to know if her answer seems "off" like she could be hiding something.

Answer 4

Nobody can really know, but it is quite possible that at 5 months, your boy simply wasn't that ready for an extended period of time away from his parents.

I babysat my nephew once when he was about that old, for about an hour. Same story: once he realized his mom was gone, began crying and nothing I could do could calm him down.

It took a while once his mom got back to get him calmed down.

I'd look for indications of difficulty, but this single incident really wouldn't be enough to presume that your sister harmed your son in some way.

If you don't trust your sister, it may be best for everyone if you didn't leave your son with her.

Answer 5

Is this the first time you've left him with someone for an extended period of time?

It could be simply seperation anxiety .. on his behalf, not yours. The first few times, and even sometimes much longer, can be very stressful for a baby.

Or perhaps it was something as simple as her not keeping to his routine, not putting him for a nap, etc.

If you found no physical signs, and he's alright now ... then no, she didn't hurt him. I AM a little confused as to why you'd leave him with her, if you say you wouldn't put it past her to hurt him. If that's the way you feel, you had no right leaving him there to begin with.

Answer 6

I don't know what could make a baby cry for that long. If she hurt him, he would probably stop crying after a few minutes. Could it be that he was just missing you and not used to being away from you. I can't think of anything that would cause long term pain for a few hours. I would talk to your sister about it and see what she says.

Answer 7

He could have trauma that is not visible on the outside. If he is still upset, take him in to the doctor. Never leave your baby with anyone you feel is unstable, family included. He is irreplaceable and not worth the risk of the convenience of going to the store baby-free.

It could also be that he simply is not used to her and she may be inexperienced in childcare. Babies can get very upset with someone not keen to their needs.

He also could have an illness coming on such as an ear infection that simply showed up at a coincidental time.

Answer 8

honestly, who knows? If your baby wasn't injured, then I would say your sister didn't do anything....I mean there was no wound, right? Perhaps your boy just missed you and was having a tantrum or something? What could your sister have possibly done to make him scream for two hours and yet not leave a mark?

Answer 9

I don't think your sister would hurt your baby.
Maybe the baby was crying becuase you left him and he was not use to being with your sister for a long period of time.
Also sense he is 5 months maybe he is teething and the pain from the teeth coming in made him scream.

Answer 10

If you haven't let him out of your sight for his first 5 months, he may be taking it out on you for leaving him.

If your sister has never had kids, she may not know what to do. Did you leave her a checklist? Feed, change diaper, etc?

Kids that young wouldn't remember if something happened "bad", so he wouldn't cry for two hours straight based on a memory of what happened while he was with your sister.

Try leaving the kid with someone else next time, see what happens.

Check out this on Shaken Baby Syndrome for information on something that may have happened.

http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/medical/brain/shaken.html

I can't think of anything else that wouldn't leave any marks.