Marriage Jitters?

Question

I know 2 guys who do not know whether or not they want to marry their current girlfriend after greater than or equal to 3 years of dating. *
When asked if he would marry his gf, Guy 1 said, "I hope so".
Guy 2 said "I'm on the cusp for a decision".

*Both guys were asked seperately at different occasions and do not know each other. Guy 1 has been living with his girlfriend for 1+ years. Guy 2 has been living with girlfriend for 4+ months.

What does this say about the man and how he feels about the relationship he is in? How would you interpret this? Could it mean he's really not sure she is the one? Or could he still be looking for other options?

Answer 1

Yes! All of the above....or none. Or, perhaps, "other".

I'd say that the guy with 1+ years into the commitment is afraid of just that - commitment. He's headed for a continued and unresolved relationship.

The other guy is making progress, but may not be entirely sincere with his comment to you ("cusp of a decision"), and he may have the same problem as the other.

Both are getting what they want without having to make a commitment of marriage, so why would they feel a need to move into that territory right now?

I'd give both relationships a 50-50 chance of survival at this point.

(Which one are you waiting to grab? My advice would be - neither.)

Answer 2

I think it means different things in different situations, but by and large I would say that it simply means that these guys might not be very self-reflective, and have trouble interpreting their own feelings and reactions to their environment. They are not "in touch with themselves", or something to that extent. They might have a certain feeling towards something, but when they try and interpret what this feeling might mean, they hit a brick wall; the more complex the feeling, and the more grave the consequences of making a "wrong" decision, the more uncertain and hesitant they become in the face of it. Also, so many people are looking for guarantees that a certain decision is a good one. When they start realizing that, much of the time, there ARE no guarantees - that they must proceed blindly, in essence - they falter, and don't want to take the risk, whatever the rewards might be waiting at the other end. I think, a lot of this kind of stuff goes on in making a decision to marry someone. There are no guarantees that this is the "best" you're going to do, and no person you even meet is absolutely "perfect", so sometimes people have trouble accepting that their choice is nothing more than an educated guess, based on the evidence that has been presented to them.

Well, sometimes they just don't want to do it. It can happen too!

Answer 3

Well marriage is a big decision, guys are notorious for not wanting to be committed... honestly it could go either way. They might decide they love their gf's, don't want to start another relationship, just settle, etc. I personally wouldn't want my bf to be so indecisive about marriage but i suppose marriage isn't always just based upon romance, there are other things to consider like the time invested in the relationship. Mr. "I Hope So" seems like he's leaning towards marrying her, but I'd really need more info to tell you anything else.

Answer 4

You can't make someone love or marry. If they are clear and make a decision it should be respected. Four + months is not very long;
American Indians have said you need to know a person four seasons before marrying. If the girlfriends want to get married they should look for a guy that's freely willing.

Are you a vegetarian?

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Answer 5

first of all Congratulations. Being Married is a extraordinary and frightening on an identical time. Like they say it is the wonderful of cases as nicely because of the fact the worst of them. it is common to have some jitters approximately it. you're approximately to make between the biggest judgements/ameliorations on your person existence. while you're particular on your coronary heart and techniques that this guy is the single for you. Then only supply it time, as your grow to understand the assumption it gets greater beneficial. once you have mutual have confidence, admire and admiration for one greater you may triumph over maximum something make helpful that your are not nervous because of the fact there are "unstated" issues that would desire to be resolved. ie: toddlers (how they are going to be raised), faith, your families, even holidays. in case you have coated one and all of those issues then you definately might desire to be nice. only undergo in techniques the 1st couple of years are the toughest, are not getting so caught up in being married which you forget approximately to stay interior the Now and enjoy those moments that made you fall for one greater. good success

Answer 6

The problem is that men who live with their girlfriends are not motivated to get married. Why should they? They already live they're married. So they postpone and postpone.
If the couple doesn't live together and they have dated for awhile 1+ years, the men are more likely to propose earlier.
My sister in law got frustrated because she hasn't been married yet, after living with her boyfriend for 5 years. Then they finally got married.
My then fiance (now husband) wasn't motivated to marry me sooner because we already lived together for 5 years. But he finally proposed.

Answer 7

Guys who are living with girlfriends have no contract, and most of them feel they have no committment and they are free to wander about until they find someone who looks like Angelina Jolie and makes love like the head prostitute at the cheerleaders academy..............

Answer 8

all guys are looking for a super model to come by....given the choice, they will never commit which is why girls get pregnant and act so desparate to keep them...I say, throw them back.......let them be alone

Answer 9

The first one is in love... The second one, doesn't want to commit.

Answer 10

neither, or both dont worry when its the right time he will marry.