2007-01-04 17:01:38 · 11 answers · asked by gigahits 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Suspicion is a dangerous game, especially if you have reason to be suspicious.
The best thing to do is to find the right moment and ask your lover directly. Tell him or her what you are thinking. If you are really lovers you will know the truth, you will see it in his or her eyes, you will feel it with the depths of your soul.
The worst thing you can do is to do some kind of covert spying on him or her. It will NOT help if you show up at his or her work, in fact it will most likely make things worse, unless you plan to supervise him or her at work all the time. In fact you will have to follow him or her everywhere he or she goes (this would have been a lot easier if you gave some idea of gender)
Suspicion is a poison to any relationship. It erodes trust and will only lead to more suspicion.
2007-01-06 09:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by megalomaniac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the number one place people have affairs. Most of the time if you think it is happening it probably is.
I once called the other woman's husband and told him what was going on, because I had people telling me what they were seeing. He wouldn't believe me. He said, My wife would never cheat on me. Wrong, he figured it out later than the rest of us.
A friend of mine got bad vibes from her husbands secretary. She sensed something was going on. The secretary ended up single and pregnant. She couldn't let herself believe it. Sure enough, he left his wife for his now pregnant secretary. It happens all the time.
It's hard to tell you what to do. If you have any other friends that work there, talk to them. But if they are friends with your lover they will lie for them too. The things I heard after I got divorced. They couldn't tell me when I really needed to know.
Another guy just recently got into his wife's work e-mail and found e-mails of proof of an affair with a co worker. You could always surprise them after work in the parking lot and see who they are walking out with. Isn't proof of affair, but can give you some idea.
Good luck. But, remember there is a chance they aren't having an affair. Some people tend to be too friendly without thinking anything of it.
2007-01-05 01:39:48 · answer #2 · answered by Karen H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why stick around to find out if she is cheating on you? You already do not trust her, or have reason to believe she is disloyal. Either way the relationship is a lost cause. Move on and forget finding out the truth or looking for proof.
2007-01-05 18:50:49 · answer #3 · answered by jussagirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I found out that my lover was having an affair with anyone else I would dump him.
2007-01-05 05:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its just not worth it to have to go to this extreme with someone u love, if your intuition tells u there is something wrong than chances are there is. don't think he will ever tell u the truth, so maybe u need to follow him, or get a friend to do that, and see where he goes. best to know the truth, than if u find out he is cheating, best to get out of it, and not risk betrayal or heartache again from him. they usually don't change, it has something to do with his character.
2007-01-05 01:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can say from experience I went to extremes.Though I didn't think he was cheating with someone from his job but I thought my Bf was meeting women offline and cheating on me so I snooped. I checked his emails, his blackplanet page, phone, ect...maybe I shouldn't have but if he hadn't given me a reason I would have never checked in the first place. Well my snooping paid off and I found out he had been seeing his ex for a few months. I found out he was supposed to be out of town and he was with her, that she was staying at his house while his mom was out of town, coming to drop things off at my house and she was in the car outside my house. So we broke up. I would say your gut is usually never wrong and if you truly believe they are cheating then 9 times out of 10 they are. Cut your losses now before you end up doing what I did. It will be their loss in the end and what goes around comes around. I truly believe that and it usually comes back 10 times worse on them. Good Luck.
2007-01-05 01:24:05 · answer #6 · answered by Samantha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep closer tabs on them, check there phone and turn up unexpectatlly to go for lunch etc...
2007-01-05 01:04:41 · answer #7 · answered by angelicrulz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you catch them. Never you will find out especially if the other girl or guy knows they are with someone else!
2007-01-05 01:06:02 · answer #8 · answered by m 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if i caught them. then i would move on to a better person you have lost nothing if this is going on . my opion?
2007-01-05 01:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you think you should do?
do you think you should stay with them so they can cheat on you some more?
2007-01-05 01:07:03 · answer #10 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋