Ive let my family believe that my brother inlaw and sister have made up lies about me being a homosexual, but the truth is I am. I cant tell my family because we are Jehovahs Witnesses, so what should I do? My mother has wiped off my sister because she thinks she has made up lies about me but she hasnt, my sister and brother in law hate me for what I have done. I am gay but I will lose the rest of my family if I tell the truth, help.
2007-01-04 16:44:36 · 10 answers · asked by stevendorombozo 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Some self-described "homosexuals" merely have homosexual tendencies and are not currently practicing or pursuing homosexual sex. Persons such as this are not necessarily considered "bad association" by Jehovah's Witnesses.
Jehovah's Witnesses consider *ALL* unrepentant practicers of fornication to be "bad association", regardless of whether their particular fornication involves hetero-, homo-, or beastial-sexuality.
Only the questioner (and heaven) know for certain whether the questioner's lifestyle is likely to bring reproach on Jehovah and Jehovah's Witnesses. The questioner's candid conclusion should move him to decide the best and most god-honoring course of action.
Only a baptized Jehovah's Witness can be "disfellowshipped" or "disassociated". The primary bonds that are broken involve spiritual interaction and friendship; family bonds and responsibilities are not broken. Thus, when family members decide to discontinue association with a former Jehovah's Witness, their decision is a personal one.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20000715/
http://watchtower.org/e/20050408a/
2007-01-05 08:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you still a minor? Do you still live with your parents? If the answer to either of those is yes, then you should seriously consider waiting to tell them, especially if your mother just decided to stop talking to her daughter just because she said you are gay.
I know they're mad at you now, but did your sister and brother-in-law have a problem with your being gay? If they didn't then maybe it would be a good idea to mend fences with them.
You will have to tell your mother the truth eventually. You can't go on living a lie, and your lie has damaged another family relationship.
But I'm well aware that some religions do cast out anyone who comes out, or has a baby out of wedlock, or pretty much does anything considered hugely wrong. So whenever you choose to tell them you have to have made peace with yourself first. Otherwise if they reject you and you're not already okay with yourself it will be harder.
I strongly encourage you to talk this out with a counselor. You need to talk about this much more than we can discuss here on Y!A. Many LGBT centers have free or low-cost short-term counseling. And they often have coming-out groups. If you're not ready for something like that there are safe websites and hotline numbers you can call to talk things out.
Just take it at your own pace, and try not to feel pressured by anyone to come out before you're ready, okay?
It will be okay. You will make it through this. There are tons of people just like you out in the world, going through the same thing, so please never feel like you're alone.
2007-01-04 16:58:56 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personaly can't understand why your sister and brother inlaw took the liberty of outing you to your parents, but before you do anything else you should talk to your sister and ask her why she would do that.
It seems like if your sister is mad at you and your mother is mad at her, telling your mother you were the one that lied to her would only complicate the situation more.
Coming out is the hardest thing any homosexual can do especially to unaccepting parents. Timing is everything, I wouldn't reccomend doing it right now considering your situation atleast talk with your sister first, wait for things to calm down and than tell them. Your parents love you and should accept you no matter who you are.
2007-01-04 17:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by Vantado 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, if you don't tell the truth you will lose yourself. I can't promise that your family will come around, but more often than not, they do. Trust me it is much easier to live free without the support of your family than it is to live a lie, besides, eventually, it will come out anyway and you will have wasted so much time.
p.s. you should ALWAYS be proud of who you are. If anyone in the family is ashamed, just remember, you are not the source of that shame. It is there own misconceptions that generate that shame. Each and every one of us was created by the same God, no mater what you call Him, and He is NOT ashamed of you. You are exactly who He intended you to be.
2007-01-04 16:58:48 · answer #4 · answered by thebrandy74 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your family the truth. But why would your own sister do that to you? You need to talk to her as well. If your family disownes you or says they will. Remember this: you have to live your life for you, no one else. As much as (i'm sure) you love you family, you don't answer to them when you go to sleep at night. You answer to yourself and God. If you sleep well, that is all that matters!!
good luck sweetie:)
2007-01-04 17:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by semperfi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your family the truth, I know it will be hard but they will have to accept you for who you are. Remeber they will love you no matter what. Tell your sister and brother in-law that you are sorry.
2007-01-04 16:48:20 · answer #6 · answered by karen v 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. Just let them know what you did about your sister was done out of FEAR!
Instead of being "disfellowshipped" simply "disassociate" yourself from your religion and tell your parents why. Tell them you respect Jehovah too much to bring shame to his name and you would rather disassociate yourself from the congregation. This will save you from being disfellowshipped (if the elders are rationale).
BTW, I love that you played your sister, but you really do need to come clean if your going to be honest. Just rip the band-aid off and let them know, yes, I'm gay and acting on it. Or yes, I'm gay and not acting on it.
Either way, good luck and I mean that.
I know of 2 other gay ex-Witnesses (well they grew up in the congregation with me) both are the sons of elders and one their parents speak to them, the other not.
2007-01-04 16:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your family the truth! Then, you will see who really loves you!!! Then, mend your relationship with your sister and brother-in-law! Good Luck! If they really love you, they won't care!!!
2007-01-04 16:59:18 · answer #8 · answered by §~You can't judge me!~§ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TELL THE TRUTH
It may lead to problems, but continuing to lie will only lead to a LIFETIME of misery for you and everyone around you.
Good Luck
.
2007-01-04 20:04:15 · answer #9 · answered by abetterfate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new family.
2007-01-04 18:20:34 · answer #10 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋