Is he not interested after my weight gain during my pregnancy?

Question

Okay, so I've asked a lot of questions about the fights between my husband and I and I didn't want to have to talk about this, but it's really bothering me.

I had an eating disorder for 11 years. My husband (bf and fiance' at the time) was really supportive and really helped me overcome my problem, and when I got pregnant, I really straightened up and I haven't gone back to that behavior. The thing is, I completely ruined my metabolism with my E.D. and I gained A LOT of weight while I was pregnant. (despite the fact that I had gestational diabetes and was on a strict diet) I went from a size 5-7 to a 18-20. I know this has to be difficult for him because I no longer look like the person he married almost two years ago, and he's never put me down for it..matter of fact, he still tells me I'm pretty everyday. BUT, he doesn't act the same as he did before. He seems to be "tired" a lot and doesn't really have time for "us". You know what I mean. It makes me feel horrible about myself..

even though I know he doesn't mean to act that way.. I don't think, anyway.

This has been the cause of a lot of fights..what do I do? I know he still loves me, and doesn't mean to act differently, I don't even think he notices...but I do, and I'm just really bothered by it..

don't complain about my weight, I call myself fat or anything like that. I bought new clothes and I try and act like I'm still the same. I do exercise and I'm trying to get into shape..my son is only three months old. We haven't really discussed my wieght gain, but it's kind of hard to ignore. I just think that, deep down, he's turned off by my new body (can't say I wouldn't be) and just isn't interested anymore

Answer 1

It may not be the weight as much as it is the fact that your a mom now. He may just need time to adjust to the role you have. Before you were his wife now your the mother of his child and men tend to look at you differently. Just be paitient I am sure he will get back to the way he was.my husband went thru the same thing... our baby is now almost two and he can't keep his hands off me.

Answer 2

I understand what u went through with a eatting disorder, I had one myself, I was anorexic. I use to be a size 11-12 now im a size 15-16. I know my husband can tell I put on weight, and not to mention all the stress that I am going through with him being deployed again, but he tells me everyday over the phone or when he sees me on the webcam that I keep getting more pretty as each day passes. If he really loves u he will love u not matter how u look. As the saying goes its whats on the inside that counts.

Answer 3

I go over this again and again with myself, wondering if he's tired and what not because of my weight. I know exactly what your feeling, and I'm sorry I can't give you the answer, but this is so crazy because your story is almost just like mine! I dealt with bulimia, had my two kids, and I've gone from a 5 to a 14. All I know is I'm determined not to go back to my Ed even if he does have a problem with my weight. I've been working on feeling good about myself, and hopefully my husband will come around again (actually he's already doing a little better) But I have been watching what I eat, and I joined a gym about a month ago and I already feel better about myself! Good luck to you!!

Answer 4

I have been with my husaband since I was 15 and after two children and 9 surgieries later I am not the size i once was actually right now I am the heaviest I have ever benn but if you change things up a little in the bedrrom things will turn around more then you think become that woman that he has never know ans always make him feel loved and special. I got lucky 6 times in three days over the holiday weekend so trust me it works!

Answer 5

i can say that i have had a eating disorder before i met my hubby and conquered it. he knows about it and he knows that i am self conscious everyday but he tries his best to show me how much he loves me everyday. my hormones go outta wack bc of PCOS and i gain or loose weight, i feel like there are nights that he is saying he is tired bc he doesnt want me but the fact is that he IS actually tired. the new emotions of being a new father could have him tired physically and emotionally. it could possibly scare him enough to where he might not want to chance another child so soon (just a guess, its what my sister and her hubby went through). u just need to sit and talk with him to find out.
as to the extra weight if u r extremely uncomfortable with it and are not breast feeding talk with your doc about a diet and try to see a dietician to safely take off the weight. just keep in mind that MANY women gain a fair amount of weight during pregnancy, ive had a few friends and family members gain 80-100 pounds with the pregnancy. just remember everyone is beautiful and we go throught the hard times of dealing with weight and how we feel our partners are feeling with the gain. good luck hun!!!

Answer 6

Some of the way you feel might just be you and how you feel. Sometime us women can be the hardest our self's. Hey you gained some weight no biggie and it can be taken off, healthy just work on yourself unless your happy beings at that size, which girl there is nothing wrong with it. He will come around guys have to go through things to in order to adjust, i am sure you have nothing to worry about. Sit down and talk him about how you feel you might be surprised. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 7

look on the net under herbs for sexual arousal get some and give it to him. get a stationary bike and ride it one hour a day to lose weight. sit it in front of the tv. I worked a t a health club for years.I know about such things.and you both should eat only whole natural foods. good luck.

Answer 8

First, ask him!!! Talk to him instead of fighting.

and maybe you can lose some weight. I know looks arent everything but they are something and they do matter in a relationship.

Answer 9

we have in thesame situation and even me i still trying to find　out why!