he cheated on me but insists that i was messing around first which i didnt
2007-01-04 16:29:52 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No offensive to you be this is between your ex and your son. You should be happy that he is wanting to see him. Besides you don't have to see your ex only at drop off time. Your son needs his father in his life!!!
2007-01-04 16:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by Carson's Mom 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You should never put your anger or resentment towards your ex, on your son. Just think if the tables were turned? How would you feel is someone tried to keep you from your son. This is his father, and it doesn't matter what is going on between the two of you, all you should worry about is your son. Unless you feel your son is not safe, you should not stand in the way of the two of them seeing each other. If you try to stop this from happening, your ex could take you to court and that would only look worse for you. There are services where you and your ex don't even need to see each other for a drop off. If nothing more, ask a friend or family member to do the drop off until your able to do it for yourself, just be sure to pick someone that it neutral. Keeping your son from his father will only cause more problems, for you and your son. Good Luck to you.
2007-01-05 00:40:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't let him see his son, you end up in a situation where the courts will demand it. To boot, your son is the one who suffers if you don't, not your ex. It doesn't matter what happened during the marriage, because it's done and over with. Don't force your son to deal with it. He's just a kid and doesn't care about stuff like that. He just wants to know that he can love both his parents, without feeling bad. So, don't take away from your son...give it to him as a special gift. Don't hold onto your anger. You're above that, show it!
2007-01-05 00:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say this but what does your anger for him have to do with him spending time with his son.
How would you like it if YOU seeing your son was dictated by someone else deciding that you werent 'nice'.
If the man is not a threat to his son then you should supsend your own feelings long enough to drop your son off at your mothers or even his mothers house so that you dont have to see the cheating bum. But dont use your son as a pawn to make your ex suffer.
It is not fair to the kid(s).
like it or not, your son is a part of this man and the healthier he feels about that relationship, the better he will feel about himself.
He will figure it out soon enough why his dad was a horrible husband but dont confuse that with being a horrible dad.
2007-01-05 00:34:27 · answer #4 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if you cheated or not. What does matter is if you made it appear you were cheating. It is still mentally abusive. I would rather be with a woman who cheated, and I was clueless, than be with one who was NOT cheating, but led me to believe she was. Your son should not be abused by your anger. Depriving a child from a parent is down right abuse, and parents who use such tacticts should be slapped until the skin falls off their faces. This country is loaded with a generation of kids who are from broken homes. Having a relationship with both parents is best for their stability both mentally and physically. If you are detereminded to screw your son up, then deprive him of his father, even if he is an asshole. I am assuming he is an asshole to you, and a father to his boy.
2007-01-05 03:49:24 · answer #5 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its always the one who is doing the cheating that accuses the other wrongly. he is just trying to get out of what he did by saying he was justified cause u did it first. revenge in not allowing him to see the boy will only make u feel bad later on. he will only take u to court if u refuse to allow him visitation. could he see the boy at a relatives, and maybe u wouldn't have to see him. know just how u feel, when someone hurts us we really don't ever want to see the person again, and risk anymore hurt from them. he is just a man that can't be honest with what he has done, so he says he did it because u did it to him, he is just trying to save face and make himself look good. u can lock your door against a thief but not a liar. just be glad u are not married to him anymore, and that he is an ex.
2007-01-05 00:43:26 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless your son is in imminent danger you are morally obligated. By "ex" do you mean ex-husband or boyfriend? The first has an indisputable legal right to his relationship with your son; the later will have to establish that right through court which won't be difficult. Get yourself under control, suck it up and put your son's emotional and psychological needs first. As his mother your primary goal needs to be his healthy development. Don't dump your garbage on his turf.
2007-01-05 00:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by Sara P 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to that question . . .
The anger you have for your ex has nothing to do with your son,
so don't put him in the middle of your issues if at all possible. That would be terribly unfair to your child and really selfish of you.
Try to accept the is it over for you and your ex,
then move on and then take the high-road,
and let him see his son . . .
Keep in mind, that the best revenge is living well!
2007-01-05 00:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by taowhore 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GROW UP - WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOUR SON SHOULD SEE YOU MORE THAN SEE HIS FATHER!!!!!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE ANGRY WITH HIM!!!!???
You both need to stop tit for tating with each other, your son did not ask to be born - you both decided to have a child and should be grown up enough to put him first.
A Child NEEDS BOTH parents - no matter how much you hate the father - he IS still the father.
Get over your anger, you SON NEEDS you.
Good Luck x
2007-01-05 05:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by Roxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although your anger over his cheating is justified, it has nothing to do with him getting to know his father. Don't think of it as doing the father a favor. Do it for the kid. If not he (child) may hold it against you down the road.
2007-01-05 00:37:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋