I left my cheating husband after 2 children. My youngest was 11 months old. He begged me to have another child, and pretty much forced me to have unprotected sex, I had a baby girl and found out he was cheating the whole time. He refused to give up the other woman and I thought I would die inside. I had no where to go. My mother was sick and died, and there I was with 2 little kids. I still hate his rotten guts to this day. We ended up with no utlities, no water, couldnt flush the stool unless we borrowed water from the neighbors. Had to use a kerosene heater to keep 1 room of our house warm in March and he was out with his new woman. We were almost homeless and I had to apply for public aid. I had no money, no food, no way to cook food and was about to end it all when slowly things improved. Have you ever been thru this? How does it feel?
2007-01-04 16:29:17 · 21 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ONCE a cheater ALWAYS a cheater
2007-01-04 16:31:04 · answer #1 · answered by butterfly_kisses81501 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have a husband who cheated on me and have also lived homeless with no power or anything. I didn't have children when I was homeless, but I know how it feels to be without. Be thankful you left, you are strong for that; I still wish I was strong enough to (I have a two year old and one on the way). You are smart to go for public aid (the plan I have if I ever leave or get away) for extra help until you can get on your feet; don't feel ashamed.This is a hard time for you, but it wil get better. Just think how things would "get" if you didn't leave him. I envy you.
2007-01-04 16:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by next PO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't necessarily say "Once a cheater, always a cheater." There have been stories of reform. But if you hate his guts and he forced you to have unprotected sex, don't give him a second chance. Not only did you have to carry a pregnancy full term that you didn't want, your husband refused to end his affair.
If things are slowly improving, don't give him another chance.
2007-01-04 16:34:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you had to go through that. This sounds like a really toxic relationship and it can make you physically and/or mentally sick.
That is morally wrong for your spouse to cheat on you. It sounds like he isn't willing to change or he doesn't care about you and he probably isn't a good father.
Can you find a shelter somewhere and take your kids with you? I hope you can live without this man and have peace in your life with your and your kids.
2007-01-04 16:33:11 · answer #4 · answered by peppermint 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It feels terrible. If it wasn't for the kids, I wouldn't have gotten through it. I will tell all women out there one thing. Don't let yourself be put in a position where you depend on a man for money, food, a place to live. We have to work to make our own money so these losers won't think they can walk all over us just because they have all control over money. Stand up and be proud that you can stand on your own two feet. With, or without a man. Good Bless all the women who stand up for themselves.
2007-01-04 16:34:35 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
degrading comes to mind.. disrespectful to the word family.. untrustworthy... goes against all things God made.... low down... need I go on ?? if he had simply been cheating and not so darn lacking in what realy makes a man a man I would say a 2nd chance was not out of the question, but after all that he put you and his own flesh and blood thru ?? No way... sorry, but he showed his true self when he left his own kids to do without... God bless
2007-01-04 16:34:18 · answer #6 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely take his *** to court and get child support. LEAVE and don't look back. It is a very hard thing to go through, my mom went through it and I went with her, we lived in a friends mobile home for about a year. I don't know the whole situation, but it sounds like you have custody of the children and it should be easy for you to go to court and get child support. Good luck and things will get better with time.
2007-01-04 16:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lauren l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may go better for awhile, but he will always return to it, because this is who he is, and what his character is. so enjoy it right now, but they always return to it again, doesn't matter how well we treat them or how many children are involved, as once a cheater always a cheater, and he will never change. gave second chances to my first ex, for awhile all went well, than out of the blue it happened again, and the hurt came back all over again. chose not to give the second ex another chance, just moved on, because of fear of more hurt and more rejection. sometimes it is better to live by oneself than have to deal with all that hurt.
2007-01-04 16:58:42 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It feels terrible. Friends of mine have been through this. You have given your cheating husband hundreds of chances. You need support from women who have been through what you are going through. Please ask your religious leader, the YWCA, your local and state health department, and the police for their help to find these types of support groups. There are probably several near you.
You didn't say, but I'll bet your husband is an alcoholic, or you both are. If you are are, you should consider going to AA meetings. If you are not, and he is, you should start going to Al-Anon meetings. The Al-Anon meetings are for family and friends of alcoholics. They will help you learn that you are not responsible for that bum. Al-Anon will help you heal yourself, even if you are not with him any more.
2007-01-04 16:48:05 · answer #9 · answered by Mark W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't stick around with a cheater to find out how it would feel. The first time he cheated would be the last time he cheated on me because I would of dumped him.
2007-01-04 17:09:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that this happened to you but you are not alone leave and you will do better. let her take care of him. You can get money from him for child support . Yes it hurts but do what best for your children since he won't
2007-01-04 16:35:56 · answer #11 · answered by tastyflow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋