Is he not interested after my weight gain during my pregnancy?

Question

Okay, so I've asked a lot of questions about the fights between my husband and I and I didn't want to have to talk about this, but it's really bothering me.

I had an eating disorder for 11 years. My husband (bf and fiance' at the time) was really supportive and really helped me overcome my problem, and when I got pregnant, I really straightened up and I haven't gone back to that behavior. The thing is, I completely ruined my metabolism with my E.D. and I gained A LOT of weight while I was pregnant. (despite the fact that I had gestational diabetes and was on a strict diet) I went from a size 5-7 to a 18-20. I know this has to be difficult for him because I no longer look like the person he married almost two years ago, and he's never put me down for it..matter of fact, he still tells me I'm pretty everyday. BUT, he doesn't act the same as he did before. He seems to be "tired" a lot and doesn't really have time for "us". You know what I mean. It makes me feel horrible about myself..

even though I know he doesn't mean to act that way.. I don't think, anyway.

This has been the cause of a lot of fights..what do I do? I know he still loves me, and doesn't mean to act differently, I don't even think he notices...but I do, and I'm just really bothered by it..

reddevilbloodymary: thanks for your insite. I just wanted to comment on a few of your thoughts, though.

I don't complain about my weight, I call myself fat or anything like that. I bought new clothes and I try and act like I'm still the same. I do exercise and I'm trying to get into shape..my son is only three months old. We haven't really discussed my wieght gain, but it's kind of hard to ignore. I just think that, deep down, he's turned off by my new body (can't say I wouldn't be) and just isn't interested anymore.

Answer 1

No He is not.. I really do think so

Answer 2

I have been with my husaband since I was 15 and after two children and 9 surgieries later I am not the size i once was actually right now I am the heaviest I have ever benn but if you change things up a little in the bedrrom things will turn around more then you think become that woman that he has never know ans always make him feel loved and special. I got lucky 6 times in three days over the holiday weekend so trust me it works!

Answer 3

I hate to tell you but it has to do with it. I am having the same problem. Before i was pregnant my husband wanted me to lose weight, now i have gained 40 lbs and the baby is due next month but he couldn't take it so he bailed last month. It is not all about my weight but i know he looks at me differently. All i can do is go on a stricked diet as soon as the baby arrives! work my *** off to look great and then never let him back in my life! So to you i would recommend working your butt off to get back to that size 5! Good luck!

Answer 4

You should be proud that you overcame an eating disorder. I do believe that your husband still loves you. However, he may no longer be physically attracted to you because of the weight gain.

Women have this warped belief that if a man loves them, he will look past serious weight gains or other physical changes and have equal desire for them. This is incorrect. A man can still love a woman and no longer be physically attracted to them or want to have sexual relations with them. It's just how the average male psyche operates.

Your husband may no longer be attracted to the woman you have become today. He may not find a size 20 woman desirable, even if she is the mother of his child and the love of his life. This may be a sad reality you will have to deal with eventually. My suggestion to you would be to talk to your husband.

Answer 5

I understand what u went through with a eatting disorder, I had one myself, I was anorexic. I use to be a size 11-12 now im a size 15-16. I know my husband can tell I put on weight, and not to mention all the stress that I am going through with him being deployed again, but he tells me everyday over the phone or when he sees me on the webcam that I keep getting more pretty as each day passes. If he really loves u he will love u not matter how u look. As the saying goes its whats on the inside that counts.

Answer 6

Honey, I had the same problem after I gave birth. Not really that I bloated up to that size but tell you what.... Start by exercising and gain yourself some pride and figure.... I used to weight 118 lbs and now I'm 140 lbs. Think positively and everything else will follow......It's all about attitude.

Answer 7

Your spouse looks like he is tired too. He is telling you that you are pretty, without you asking for it right? If he is cheating on you, you would probably sense something because married women have these "radars". Also, if he is cheating on you, he wouldn't compliment your looks.
So just relax. Men do not like nagging women. I'm not saying you are a naggar. But most women like me love to talk alot and it stresses men out to where they become distant and "tired". So try to give your husband some space, don't talk to him much, let him come to you.

Answer 8

a lot of time it is our own insecurity that rears it's ugly head. If you really want to feel better, start exercising and get yourself into shape, not for him, but so you'll feel better about yourself. Maybe it's your lack of confidence that is uninspiring to him. I have always heard, that men will over look flaws when the woman is acting passionate and confident. But if you are pointing out every little flaw, how can you expect him to ignore it?

Answer 9

i think it's you, you are thinking the problem it's your weigh and it's effecting your husband, you guy need to talk if it's the weigh i don't think the problem can't be face, cause both of you can deal with it, cause it's physical, but i think you thinking that your weigh is the problem is the reason, stop thinking about your weigh for now and think about your child and communication between both of you, your child and husband, cause any satire in your Brain that tells you, you i not love cause you gain a few pounds could carry you back to that dark cycle.