can a disabled man get custody of his kids if the mother is healthy?

Question

I was assaulted and became disabled 4 years ago.I have had 5 back surgeries and cannot lift more than 15 lbs.I have two kids ages 2 and 4. She has three older boys 18 to 8.we live in washington state and are not married. things have changed alot since I got hurt and I don't think we'll be able to stay together.She is really mean to me I know she's trying to drive me out so I'll just get frustrated and leave without my kids. I would have to get some help in caring for my kids but not a lot. I am on SSI and get a small pension from L&I as I was assaulted at work. I do have to take pain meds. She is verbally abusive to the children and I think they would be better off with me I know she will fight me tooth and nail.I don't want to leave them here that is why I have stayed until now. but it gets worse everyday.can anyone please give me some advice on what I need to do

Answer 1

I don't know the law where you live so I can't say anything about Washington State, but from what I know in general, most courts and judges decide child custody cases on the childs best interests. That is the deciding factor. So it all depends on who can best serve the interests of the children. From what you say, the mother is best able physically for the moment... Pain medication makes taking care of young children even more difficult and your injuries appear quite severe. When a 2 yr old child needs and wants to be picked up, that'll be hard for you. Of course a disabled person can get help around the house, but they have to be able to afford it... and take care of the kids financially as well as all the other financial burdens. If you can afford it, why not have someone come in to help now around the house.

Psychologically, again from what you say, your wife doesn't seem to be doing too good a job. And you must be quite upset about all the changes becoming disabled must have caused in your life. I think that perhaps both of you should seek counseling. Both of your separate lives as well as your life as a couple and as parents have changed drastically. Anyone would need help dealing with all that... Perhaps this is her fear and anger about the situation you hear when she loses patience and is verbally abusive to the kids. Lots of time, fear comes out as anger. LOTS... Perhaps she's very angry about the situation and is taking it out on the one she loves and feels the safest with and that's supposed to be you and the kids. What about the older kids of hers? How are they dealing with the situation? Are they helping out any? Or does that make it worse too?

You should also see a lawyer. Or get into mediation if you think the relationship is going nowhere fast, which is the impression I get from your question... after all, you'll notice that in the third-to-last sentence, you're already using the past tense when you say "...I have stayed until now." And perhaps she's real fed up of being with someone who's always zapped on pain meds.... I hear they're addictive...are they???

Just keep in mind that you'll both have to answer the questions about what best serves the children's interests because that's the bottom line on this one...

Oh... one small personal thought: someone would have to be some kind of evil and wicked person to get me frustrated enough for me to leave my kids with them if I really didn't think they were fit to take care of them... And another one: if I were a lawyer, I'd definitely ask the judge for a psychosocial evaluation to be done on the mom... or the dad... depending on who's lawyer I was... and another evaluation on the kids... no matter who's lawyer I was...

Good luck to your children... and you.... and their mom.... I hope it all works out okay. In the interests of the children, of course....

Answer 2

Are the youngsters in possibility ? Does the mummy do issues that are no longer worth ,risky, or silly. the mum and dad are in charge for the upbringing of young ones till 12 or 13 earlier this factor the mum and dad would be judged via God for there childs sins, which you're able to make a protracted tale short , if the youngsters are no longer being taught gods rules and rules somebody pays the value of overlook , there are no longer any winners in a seperation , love is often that consists of heaven , he would desire to have faith her some what to allow her try this , in todays international God help us concerned approximately the youngsters ! How does he experience approximately yet another guy elevating his little ones ? What ever the alternative gain this in peace and calm ! God bless you and yours !

Answer 3

so, when she drives you out, you want custody? unmarried with kids for how long? your all drugged up on pain meds, are disabled and feel you are what is best for the children? is she an unfit mother? that is what the court will look at, if she is unfit or not. if she is verbally abusive, they may require parenting class's.

yup, she more then likely will defend herself and fight 'tooth and nail' (as you say) for custody.

the court will determine what is best for the children. if you are being abused, leave. i would.

Answer 4

Seek legal advice from an attorney. If things are that bad then those kids do not need to be there any longer than necessary. Good luck sweetie !!

Answer 5

i really hope it gets better...

but u should talk to ur lawyer about that cuz i am pretty sure that if an adult is being abusive to their kids, then they might be told to that there kids will be taken away.

maybe by foster care or by the other adult. depending

i just hope that it works out for u.

i am sure that this is not very helpful, but i hope it is something.

good luck to u!

Answer 6

yes you can because they go what is better for the child. mentally and home environment.
if you can perv id the adequate care i don't see why it would be any different.then some one who is not disable.good luck. and god bless.