Okay, last year my friend came to school with a black eye and some marks and told us her stepfather hit her. He said he'd do it again but it did happen again and a whole lot of times after that. She is afraid it would hurt her mother if she tells on him. But I'm sick and tired of him hitting her and I'm afraid he might go crazy one day and ... you know rape her or something. I care about her but I know she'd lie if someone asked her if it was true because she wants her mom to be happy. What do I do?
2007-01-04 16:17:19 · 26 answers · asked by SoyDeChristo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Okay, last year my friend came to school with a black eye and some marks and told us her stepfather hit her. He said he'd never do it again but it did happen again and a whole lot of times after that. She is afraid it would hurt her mother if she tells on him. Her mother does know but stopped caring after the first few times. I'm sick and tired of him hitting her and I'm afraid he might go crazy one day and ... you know rape her or something. I care about her but I know she'd lie if someone asked her if it was true because she wants her mom to be happy. What do I do?
2007-01-04 16:58:16 · update #1
Tell someone immediately.
That's all I can say. Preferably someone older, with some authority. They might be able to look into it. Her mother's happiness is important, but she shouldn't have to sacrifice her own mental and physical well being for it.
Perhaps you can alert someone to it by using the old hypothetical situation, "Say I knew someone who was being abused by one of her relatives...I want to tell someone but..."
It's good to know you care about your friend, but you should talk to her, she might be keeping this pent up as well and actually be willing to speak out.
Hope it helps and that it turns out alright in the end.
2007-01-04 16:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to a teacher at school, and get them to be an advocate for you with the administration. You also need to talk to your school's counselor. Tell them about the marks, about what she's said, and that she's worried about her mom.
If this keeps happening, not only will your friend continue to suffer, but you are right that things may get worse. People can become brain damaged from too much abuse, particularly to their heads and faces. This is a time when your school needs to step in--and they will, in order to try to protect a student. If something happened to her and anyone found out you'd told them and they ignored you, they'd be in big trouble. Go to them the next time she comes in with marks or ASAP.
2007-01-04 16:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by fairygothmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is violence or rape, you should call CPS (Child Protective Services). If this a 1 time occurrence that happened a while back and there hasn't been any problems since, then there's nothing to do about it. If it happens again, you should be more concerned about her safety and not worry about how it affects her mother. CPS will put an end to that.
2007-01-04 16:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its had not to believe with the marking she had, the black eye, markings, don't you think her mother should have seen it. I would go to the school authorities, tell them of her probably denial of which they already are aware from other experience, School officials can get action on it, and give her support if needed, its gonna be a physiological battle, but worth the try
2007-01-04 16:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are agencies set up to deal with this sort of thing. I would call an abuse hot line and let them know what you know. They will help you decide what decision you should make in your situation. Believe it or not they get this kind of question a lot and can help you and your friend.
The worst thing you can do is do nothing. A friend mad at you is better then a friend in the hospital.
2007-01-04 16:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by Whurm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL SOMEONE NOW tell your mom or your teacher an adult you trust dont wait. If her mom really loves her she'll understand and not chose to be with a man who hurts her baby (no matter how old your friend is) Id starve for a year to feed my son for a day - any good mother would
2007-01-04 16:19:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her when her stepfather is gone talk to her mom privately and say to her "mom i have something very important to say but if i tell u i still want u to be happy and i am telling the truth" and then she can tell her the whole story. i know she does want to make her mom happy but the most important thing to most moms is their childs happiness and safety trust me. i hope everything works out for her. god bless her.
2007-01-04 16:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by DanceForeverrrBaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend's safety has been comprised far too long. Before it gets any worse, as you predicted, you must tell some one! Tell any authorites such as children services, the police, a teacher, or even her mother. The abuse needs to end quick before its too late.
2007-01-04 16:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to talk her into telling some one! some day he may go to far & you'll be standing at her casket! i'm sorry if they upsets you, but it's true! how old are you? can you talk to your mom about things? maybe she can help you. i'm sure if her mom knew, she'd be out of there in a heart beat! if not, then she needs to live w/some one els who will care about her safty! find some way to get her out of there.i'm so sorry either of you have to deal w/this. :(
2007-01-04 16:23:25 · answer #9 · answered by rblankenship_rblankenship 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your school counselor and they will HAVE to tell child protective services and they should investigate that situation.
If her mother does not wonder why her daughter has a black eye, she needs to go to jail too!
2007-01-04 16:20:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋