Girlfriend's parents each twice divorced. Concerns about marriage.?

Question

Recently my girlfriend and I have been discussing marriage. We are very happy together.

My father who has been happily married to my mom for over 30 years is a little bit concerned though that my girlfriend's parents have each been divorced twice (to different spouses). How do I respectfully address my father's concerns while also conveying my love and trust for my gf?

I am well aware that people whose parents are divorced are almost twice as likely to get divorced as people whose parents are still married. My father is an intelligent man (elite university professor), how do I avoid empty platitudes?

Answer 1

You have every right to be concerned, but try not to worry. Your girlfriends parents made bad choices and I think your girlfriend would probably say that she doesn't want to end up the way they did. My husband's parents have both been married twice before and both are on their 3rd marriages! My parents have been married for 40 years this October!! I am happy to say that my husband & I have been married for 13 years! Your girlfriend had to deal with her parents isssues, mistakes, etc. and I will bet you that she learned from their mistakes and will do anything not to follow in their footsteps!! So dont let this weigh on you and let your girlfriend know exactly how you feel, she is your insight! Good luck & best wishes!

Answer 2

My husbands parents and mine have both been married and divorced 2x each, yup, that's 8 marriages and divorces in total.
We have been married almost 20 years but I know some of the issues we have been through were directly related to the instability of our upbringings. As long as you can keep the lines of communications open, you'll be ok. I wish you a long and happy marriage :-)

Answer 3

There are two things that can happen because of her background.
1. because she's been through the painful situation she would not want to repeat their mistake and in some cases it makes your marriage much stronger because she wants to prove to herself that she did not mess up her marriage and

number 2 thing that can happen is she might give up on her man and marriage because deep inside her heart something says ok it will not work. It cannot and will not work and not worth trying because it did not work for my parents. so if you have to gamble and take the risk. but isn't LIFE A GAMBLE anyways... It depends now on how good a player you are....I am sure you are a super good player...If you love her then accept her, Good things done with good intentions always works out because of karma.

Answer 4

You may be happy now. But, please go to premarital counseling if you really love each other and only want to be with each other. Divorce has a great impact, please go to premarital counseling! I highly recommend it! I'm separated now and wish that we would have. Good luck and you are a very smart and thoughtful man! :) God bless!

Answer 5

I would tell my dad i am concerned due to her parents attitude towards marriage but love her.

I am thinking pre-nup.....