This Question really jumped out at me !! I can read your pain.. First there is nothing you can do if he is cheating again.. Trust me I do know this !! I would say at this age and from experience, I would just sit back, make sure you have credit in your name , make as much of a money stash as possible,, Especially if you think he is spending it on her .. See what happens .. The anger he is displaying is guilt ... So just let him show it.. You might not feel like doing anything at this point, especially if your feeling really down about this , but if you've experienced a cheating spouse before you already know the pain involved, that doesn't make this go around any eaiser ..
I would like to say just don't make it any eaiser on the two snake's go ahead and question what need's to be questioned .., If he doesn't like it so be it ..
I Saw An Answer Telling You That Everything But Yourself Worth Can Be Replaced,, and To Leave .. I know this is a popular answer to this type of question, But I don't agree with that person, I think If You're really worked hard at this relationship and all that's in it .. I would not leave.. He could leave .. and then you would have to deal with the rest
I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW A FEW MORE THINGS ,, SUCH AS , DO YOU HAVE A JOB ? DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN ? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON THIS TIME ?
ONE OTHER THING IS JUST TAKE IT DAY BY DAY , LIKE I SAID BEFORE GETTING YOUR DUCK IN A ROW IS A GOOD IDEA , WHETHER YOU FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT .. MEN ARE NOT PREDICTABLE, THEY DON'T USE THE CORRECT HEAD TO THINK WITH -- OUR ADVANTAGE IS THAT WE CAN THINK CORRECTLY, IF WE QUIT THINKING ABOUT THE CHEATING FOR A FEW MINUTES AND THINK ABOUT OURSELVES AND DO FOR OURSELVES .. JUST GET SOME OF THE THINGS I'VE TOLD YOU IN ORDER ..
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET A DIVORCE,, I PERSONALLY HAVE BEEN THROUGH EVERYTHING BUT A DIVORCE,, YES IN MIGHT BE COMING , BUT I'VE TAKEN 3 YEARS TO GET READY FOR IT ....
NO THIS ISN'T THE LIFE YOU WANT TO BE LIVING, BUT YOU ARE AND YOUR SURVIVING IT AT THIS POINT .
SO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD .........
GOOD LUCK ...............
Tell Him You Sense A Problem
Tell Him Its Ok , You Would Rather Know
" At This Time and Age in Both Of Your Live's , It Would Be In The Best Interest Of You Both If Honesty Was The Policy ..
Whether It's True Or Not ,, Tell Him You Will Not Crumble Like A Cheap Lawn Chair If He Is Having Another Affair, But Do Tell Him , That It Should BE Your Option To Stay Or Leave If He is actually cheating ..
Tell Him You Would Rather Live Anyway , Other Than With A Cheater !!!!!!!!!!
I SURE WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK !!!!!!
THIS IS SUCH A TOUGH SITUATION TO BE IN ..
I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT YOU ...
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2007-01-05 01:13:35
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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I would start setting aside as much cash as you can where he can't get at it. I'd also take all the jewelry that's valuable and lock it up in a safety deposit box at the bank.
Sounds as if he's trying to drive you away. If you don't have a job, i'd get one real quick and start saving money and getting yourself into a position where you can afford to make the house payments car payments or whatever, once he's out of the house.
You could file for divorce and have him put out of the house, but make sure if you do this, that the house will go on the market for sale and that both of you are responsible for the payments until it's sold.
Lot's of variables with this situation, But sounds as if he's cheating on you again. Just don't sit back and wait for something to happen, be prepared and don't be afraid to take the initiative.
2007-01-04 23:01:22
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Don't laugh but I have just been watching Melrose Place season 1. Michael cheats in this. It sounds like your husband is too from the all the signs you have revealed. Can you follow him secretly? Have you checked his phone etc. I know that's awful but if I was you I wouldn't trust him either if he has done it before. I would seek legal advice. Be sure to get what you deserve. If hhe has cheated you should be entitled to more or at least 50%. Don't jepordise your position until you know all your facts. I really wish you all the best. If he has done it again leave the bastard. You deserve better, remember that. Think highly of yourself and love yourself. No woman deserves that. Goodluck.
2007-01-04 23:00:00
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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well u gave him plenty of time for him and sit to talk to u..now the ball is in ur court..depending if u have kid's together..the house is ur's next time he leave's pack his clothes and set them out on the driveway or as other women would do throw them in the yard..and call him on his cell if he has 1 and say dont come home cause u have no home to come too..and if he does come home call the police and the police will make him leave. just to save a fight or even harming u. and tell him while the cops r there that u will talk to him over the phone about the problem's and if he doesnt want to talk to u..GET A DIVORCE that solve's everything and good luck too u
2007-01-04 23:02:54
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answer #4
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answered by Sean 2
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It sounds like something is definitely not right. I would probably think the same thing you are thinking...that he's having an affair. I'm sorry to hear that. I know how it feels to be betrayed like that. Is there any way that you can get a divorce and not lose everything? Could you try to split the assets evenly? I definitely think you should find a way to get out of that situation. If you don't, you'll be miserable until you do.
2007-01-04 22:57:28
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answer #5
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answered by AK 3
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Like OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Look lady I mean from one woman to another. How many signs can he give you that he doesn't want to be with you anymore!!!!! I am not for beating around the bush so I won't.. It seems to me the sizzle is gone and so is he.. He has moved on to something else. You need to realize that even though you may have worked extra hard for the material things your peace of mind is a lot greater to have. Some times in life when we accept things that were never ok in the first place we set ourselves up for failure in the end. What I mean when I say that is from the first time you accepted that he cheated you laid a foundation for more heart ache. No one ever cheats once and then never does it again because they are in search of the one thing your not giving them so they seek it out from other places and even when they fight there temptation by trying to remain faithful it normally falls threw. At 40 years old I hope you already know this but there are so many women out there who trick themselves into believing that their partner won't cheat again since they have both vowed to put the situation behind them and move forward to work on their relationship together but what people always seem to over looked is why the partner cheated in the first place. What is it that you lack that they feel they need to sought from another. There is alot of messages here in my paragrah but hopefully you will pay attention to the most important one and that is that material things come and go. You were never put here to hold on to something that would cost you the one thing we all have but misplace. YOUR SANITY!!!! Let go of him and the things he may want to take that you have no control over Man up and get to stepping.. Towards the front door that is and replace the old things you have to leave behind and create a new life and new memories for yourself.. May not seem like what you want right now but in the end this will happen anyway but the difference in the end will be him kicking you to the curve instead of you walking out on that bag of trash with your self worth and dignity because he can keep all the material things he wants but you will be blessed and GOD will take care of you if you step outside of whats going on and make the right choice!!!!! Evereything he may take can always be replaced
2007-01-04 23:14:50
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answer #6
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answered by Jazzie 2
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Could be a mid-life crisis! Or hes just a jerk! Either way you need to protect your financial situation. Go and see a lawyer - even if you dont take it further at this stage you will know where you stand in regards to your house. Remain strong find a friend and share a bottle of wine and have a good old moan. Good luck
2007-01-04 22:59:24
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answer #7
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answered by Annie B 2
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If you think he is and you can afford it hire a private investigator to check up on him. There are some other things you can do yourself to find out but, can you handle the truth? Ask some of the women on this site for tips on cheating husbands because, we do leave trails of evidence if you have that "C.S.I" mentality to look for it. Have you ever though it could be drugs though?
2007-01-04 22:59:22
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answer #8
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answered by saturn man 3
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I would serve him with divorce papers. That will get his attention and gives you the upper hand. You don't have to go through with the divorce unless you want to. If nothing else it will get him shocked to reality. HE could lose the house, maybe he needs to face that reality.
2007-01-04 23:17:35
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answer #9
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answered by Jennifer D 5
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Thats awful, im very sorry, but if you feel in your heart he is cheating and he wont talk to you about it, tell him to leave. You shouldnt have to give up what you worked so hard for. 23 years is a long time but honestly if he done it once, why wouldnt he do it again? Try talking to him, but i think in your heart you know what you need to do.
2007-01-04 22:58:28
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answer #10
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answered by ishybug03 4
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