Can a 45 yo recovering alcoholic ever find a wife?

Question

I made a wish this year - not a resolution, but just a wish. I asked god if he could find me a wife.

The problem is, I'm unsure what a wife or a potential wife would want from me. I'm 45, a little overweight, a recovering alcoholic and have had lots of girlfriends in my life. I wanted to marry the last one, but I screwed it all up by drinking and cheating on her. I never want to go back there again.

I've never been married before, and find alot of women are looking for a second or third husband and think that there is something wrong with me.

I did start a multi-million dollar software company, which failed in 2003, but I'm trying again. (I started it in 1987 when i got sober the first time)

What do you think is wrong with this picture. Do you think I'd never find a wife? That's what I want most from life.

What can I do to make myself attractive enough so that some woman that I'm equally attracted to will marry me?

Answer 1

Alot of people would look at what you just wrote and say LOOSER!!! But... as one who knows better, I can tell you, yes you can change if you really want to. You just have to want it bad enough. I think there is someone out there for everyone. You just have to be open and receptive to it. Clean up your act, quit feeling sorry for yourself and pray about it. That's what I did. We've been married 17 years now. I've been sober since 1990.

Answer 2

I think your statement was fine right up until you wrote, "some woman that I'm equally attracted to..." I think that if you're willing to accept someone with flaws, then you'll be accepted, too. However, if you're looking for someone perfect, you'll never find her, or she won't want you. There has to be balance there.

If I were you, I'd focus on what you can and do offer a woman. Are you kind? Smart? Funny? Sweet? Good-hearted? Understanding? A good listener? Women want those traits.

I have a friend who married a recovering alcoholic, and she wasn't much of a drinker. They've had a rocky road, but I think they'll make it.

I wish you luck! One day at a time!

Answer 3

Dear Bill, It sounds to me that you have low self esteem. That is the first thing that could be chasing potentials away. Do you talk down about yourself? Just because you're a little heavy doesn't mean that you're unattractive. I am 5'6" and 110 pounds and I love big guys. I know a 40 something alcoholic and even when he's sober he still talks the b.s. if you know what I mean, so watch your self there. As for starting a company, go for it! I wish you all the best ;)

Answer 4

Yes! There is hope for you, too, but, it depends on the kind of woman you are looking for. A clean and sober woman may not want to deal with your alcoholic problems, which seem to pop up every so often. But, if you are looking for a woman with similar issues, there may be hope there. If you are really sick and tired of your way of life, you will decide once and for all that you want a better life. Then, you will do something about it. Otherwise, what you see is what you will get. Good Luck!

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with the picture of you, because you are who and what you are...it's just you accepting yourself for who and what you are...Give yourself time to maintain a "clean and sober" lifestyle again. Attend those AA meetings, even if you feel you are on the right track, because they truly offer you something drugs and alcohol can't, and that is continued support while you are clean and sober and on the path toward a consistent recovery. No, it's not easy because it doesn't feel good being alone, but what you might be searching for in a companion, you just might truly be searching for that within yourself. So, allow yourself to heal and appreciate your status of being clean and sober and just go with the flow of life...you had a multi-million dollar company prior to your backslide, you can do it again...within your consistent drug and alcohol free recovery...Just believe in yourself...maintain that wonderful spirituality you have...and keep on praying for that special one, just be more specific and add yourself into those prayers to achieve to your "highest good" being drug and alcohol free...You can do it! Take care...(smiles)

Answer 6

The thing is all these material relationships are temporary and full of misery. If one does not put thier Maker in the center (also known as Krishna, Allah, Vishnu, Jehovah) their will not be any real happiness in their relaitonships or life. If one has a real spiritual goal and is looking for a mate to help each other serve God together then they can have some happiness otherwise look forward to lots of problems, it is just the nature of this world. go to Stephen-knapp. read e-book Ihe Key to Real Happinesss We are not these bodies ie Race, color, relgion, nationality, job, size, etc. we are eternal spirit souls, part and parcel of the Supreme Soul. (Names listed above) We have to reconnect with Him in all situaitons to be happy. Chanting the Maha Mantra is the quickest way to reconnect. go to krishnaculture. for details.Read Bhagavad Gita as it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada

Answer 7

Have you got a good career? No? A woman's main concern is that you will be earning enough money.

Answer 8

God can only help those who can help themselves and it sounds like you're on the right track--I think you're just looking too hard. Relax.

Answer 9

Yes You will find somebody all in due time. Focus on yourself & your recovery. But as you progress you will find focusing on you easier & natrual!!!

Answer 10

You'll get a wife.Don't look for her too much,when you look for something you'll never find it.The right one is going to find you.