someone help me tell my mom im gay. and that is how it is and she has to understand it.?

Question

i am gay. i love my girlfriend. and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. i know she will freak. abt a yr ago she found some notes my girl & i had wrote back and forth she forced us to break up and not to see each other, but of course we worked around it so that we hooked bak up and see each other everyday almost. she is my eveerything and i want my mom to understand. i have been w/ this girl for almost 2 yrs.. i want to b w/ her forever.. what can i say to my mom to get her to accept me for who i am or to understand????

Answer 1

tell her to grow up and stop being so ignorant, do some research and take you and your gf and her parents to a pflag meeting regularly and your closest uu, mcc, gay friendly reform jud, or church of christ church sometime.

if that doesn't work and she continues to be negative and unsupportive, get in touch with those same organizations yourself and start to consider that you might not actually have "parents" or a "mom" and you will have to become more responsible for yourself emotionally, morally and mentally. a lot of glbt have to do that and only socialize with biological family out of a sense of detached obligation.

if the verbal and emotional abuse get really bad and interfere with your school work or makes you really depressed and distracted from a sense of normalcy otherwise, find a new "home" asap, even if you have to continue living with your biological family for a while and see if you can get your gay friends to help you become an emancipated minor.

and don't expect it, but if you love her, it's ok to "hope" that she'll eventually come around and support you.

Answer 2

if your mother already knows that your gay and she still is not accepting it you need to realize that it is probably a bit too much for your mother to handle. now i am not saying that i have any clue about your mother or any others but if she was expecting you to get married and have kids, you have just robbed her of the moments and merories that she must have grown fond to when dreaming up what your life would bring when you were young. I AM NOT SAYING THAT IS A BAD THING FOR YOU TO DO. but what i am saying is it will take her a long time to come to cope with it.

i don't know how old you are but if you are still living at home i would suggest that you take your liberation slowly, gently reminding your mother that you have no interest in men when ever something comes up (i.e. you mother points out that theres a cute new boy across the street, you would just have to say something simple like "really? hmm thats too bad...." or "oh well, i guess thats life.....")

once your out living on your own i would suggest that you quicken the pace but not to much that you stumble and everything blows up in your face. when you mother calls to see how things are you should say something like you are hanging out with your room mate, hinting that its a girl/girlfriend, and ones you ease you mother up on the idea you let her know plain and simplily that you are lesbain and if she has a problem with that there is nothing wrong with your preferences and that they have shaped you to be the up-standing woman that you are today.

Answer 3

Well, is there any hurry? She probably is not urging you to get married by the end of the school year is she? How about gradually, "Not really too interested, Mom" when she points out a cute girl. "Doubt she is my style." and unless you are _flaming_ and flaunting_ and stealing her make up and clothes she will be fine with that. Lots of young men get really serious about their studies and don't date much if at all.l Nothing is in concrete either, a few years from now you may decide you are bi-sexual. but if not, wait till you are in college to come out to the family. Just keep your private life to yourself and try not to get any major STD's Watching you die of AIDS is not what your mother wants to remember.

Answer 4

It may a lot of time to get her to accept her. Work with her if you want her acceptance. Try to get her to go to PFLAG meetings. Have her talk to a pro-gay clergy member. Don't give up on her if her acceptance means that much to you. If it's not one of the highest priorities in your life, move on with your life without your mom. She can come back into your life when she learns to accept you.

Also, if you aren't out of her house yet, she might try more extreme measures to break you two up and try to straighten you out. Think about the consequences before you do it.

Answer 5

You have many choices. First, if you are close to your mom, ask if her if you can just sit down and talk. Then bring up the subject, and say you think being gay isn't a bad thing. Then let her know. If that doesn't work, write a story about a person who is gay, with your EXACT same story, but different names. Give it to your mom and let her read it. If she likes it you can tell her. If she really loves you, she will be happy for you. :)

Answer 6

If you're mother is like most parents, their first reaction to learning that their child is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender is "How will I ever handle this?" Many people simply aren't prepared for the words, "I'm gay”, “I’m lesbian”, “I’m bisexual”, or “I’m transgender."

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) could both help both you and your mom. We most likely have been through much of what you are now feeling. We understand.

Answer 7

not sure how old you are, but your mother can't control your life forever.. if you are a teen living at home, it will be tough, but i saw your other question about going to college, so once the time comes for you to be out on your own, you will be ready and able to date this girl and be with her forever.. and your mother will have no say in the matter.

it will be really sad if she can't love you and accept you, but at least you will be able to be with your girl and love her forever..

Answer 8

There are a few great organizations you might want to check out:

PFLAG.org
http://www.pflag.org/

and the Trevor project:

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/organization.aspx

Good luck to you, I know facing your parents can be a truly daunting task.

Answer 9

i dunno how old are you but i dont think you should tell your mom anymore that you're gay cuz she already knows right?
just say that don't force you to be someone else cuz that is who you are. if she wants to see you happy then she has to understand.
goodluck dear ;)

Answer 10

contact your local PFLAG office (Parents and friends of lesbians and gays)..these are mostly parents of gay children..they can and will help you a lot.