Advice on having sex for the first time....?

Question

I am 15, female and considering haveing sex with my boyfriend. We've talked it over, for the past few months, and are sort of getting ready. We both know, protection would be the answer. And I have briefly talked to my mother about having sex, with him. I wasnt direct, but she had said that when I was ready to give her a heads up, and we're proving we have a serious relationgship. We have, done things together, forplay and an assorment of things, but we want to take it further, and my mom seems ok with the thought. (She was suprisingly Chill) All she said is 'as for having sex, if that boy goes dubble dipping, ill go after his nuts.' Meanin' she dosn't want him to go have sex with a bunch of other girls. BUT, he is a virgin, and so am I... I guess my question is, do you think im being mature and practical about this? I want to think logically and hear other outputs before we go further. Throw around some, Pro's and Cons?? Thanks. <3

Answer 1

Your question was…. do you think you're being mature and practical about this? I would say you're being extremely mature.

Certainly many people may freak out about your age but it's only recently that this has become a problem. Roll back a few hundred years in England and women were getting married at 13 and still in some cultures today… you have your period your eligible for marriage.

The other side of the age issue is in almost all states any sex with your boyfriend at your age would be considered statutory rape. Even with your parent's consent. Now you wouldn't be in any trouble here but certainly the boy might be now nothing like this is going to come up unless your mother gets mad at your boyfriend or you do and someone gets vindictive.

On the other hand have a lot of American youth lost their virginity before the age of consent…. of course.

Now your mothers concerned about the boy double dipping… interesting term. Essentially your boyfriend having sex with another girl and then having it with you. The opportunity to spread the disease becomes much more real then with your virgin boyfriend. Number one always use a condom. Also I would highly recommend that you get vaccinated against some common sexually transmitted diseases.

One vaccine you can get is for hepatitis B the other is for HPV. The problem with both these sexually transmitted diseases is the male and in a lot of cases female are not even aware that they have it. There may not be any symptoms that show at all. The hepatitis B vaccine is recommended for anyone 1 to 18 years of age (and you may have already had it but you need to check).

HPV (Human PapillomaVirus) and genital warts are now preventable by a new vaccine called Gardasil. It is recommended for women 9 to 26 years of age. The vaccine guards against 70% of all cervical cancers and 90% of all genital warts. Men do not know they're infected and show no symptoms at all. There is no vaccine for the men at this time. Why is it recommended for such a young age and then cut off at 26? Because the FDA, rightly so, believes that after 26 women have had enough unprotected sex that they are infected with the virus and the vaccine at that point will not be effective or help. That's pretty sad when he think about it. That PAP smear the doctor does each year is hunting for the cancer this virus causes. While you'll still probably need a PAP smear this vaccine increases your odds dramatically that'll always come back negative. The link is Gardasil.com and the drug company is Merck (one of the largest in the world)

Why did the FDA recommend that women aged 9 and up at the vaccination…. because women are sexually active younger and they know it. 15% of the US population is infected with HPV.

I was quite surprised that a number of people kept saying what if the condom breaks you'll get pregnant. That's pretty stupid. If you buy high-quality condoms (not the one left in your wallet for two years because you've been waiting to get laid) the chances of them breaking are extremely rare.

You will have to be the final one who makes the decision but sex is a very personal and beautiful thing.

Mark
author GirlsTellAll

Answer 2

You are so young. It sounds as though you are trying to be responsible and that's great. It is very important to take the proper steps to prevent STD's and pregnancy.

But please wait a bit longer. There is so much more to sex then the actual act...no matter how logical and mature and practical you are. Sex with the person you love and who loves you in return is something very special. Especially if you are a virgin. If you two are in love then you can wait a bit longer. There is so much more to love and sex than you see on TV or in the movies. Sometimes it ain't so good....sometimes the mind is willing and the body isn't ready or the body is ready but the mind isn't...

This is such a hard question to answer. I want to tell you to please please wait because you are so young and once you take this step things will never be the same for you again. With anyone...and if you ever break up with this young man you will really be hurt. More than you'll ever know or understand now. You have your whole life ahead of you...plenty of time to meet and date many wonderful young men. You don't have to have sex just to keep a guy...or to make your relationship more meaningfull. The most wonderful man I ever met never made even a pass at me until we were engaged to be married....and I was almost 10 years older than you at the time...and we have been married for almost 17 years now. The guy that truly loves you and wants to be with you will respect you enough to wait. I hope you can respect yourself enough to wait a few years....Best wishes.

Answer 3

First and foremost, I still believe sex belongs in marriage. You both are still virgins and that's something to be proud because once you lose it, you can never go back. There are many, many people who wish they had waited and the first time outside of marriage isn't always the best experience. I think you two should wait and if you're unsure, try perusing the web site below for some ideas.

Answer 4

1. What happens the condom breaks and you get pregnant?
2. What happens if he has a STD you don't know about?

While all your dialogue sounds really mature, I can't imagine your mother being so casual about this idea. Seems you are much more mature than she is.

Please do this. Stop by your school nurse's office tomorrow and ask her/him about the effects of 15 year old girls having sex. Then talk to your church pastor. That way you have 3 opinions, and you can make up your own mind.

Frankly, I think you are setting yourself up for emotional and physical trauma that could render you a life of promiscuity and mental and emotional problems. And I think you are too smart to select that particular choice for yourself.

Good Luck

Answer 5

I don't have a problem with your age, I know you really want too, just be careful during penetration. Guys have a tendency to pull that thing off right in the middle of it because it feels better. Keep your hand down there and feel it every now and then and make sure he has it own. Even with a condom, make him finish on the outside of you. Use your head.

Answer 6

i was young when i lost my virginity, although i regret the age, i dont regret the person or situation. a lot of my friends were older but its was meaningless. i was in a relationship, which was quite a mature one for my age, and continued to go out with my boyfriend for another year after having sex with him. what you have got to ask yourself is, do you want this special moment to be with this person? do you think it will last and ask yourself if you would rather be older, and obviously if you are ready. you are young, but alot of people wait till they're a little older and end up losing it on a drunken one night stand! as i said i regret being so young, but glad i did it when i did because the moment was still special to me.
make sure yours is special, if you believe this person will do that and that your ready for that kind of connection with someone then do what you think is best. my advice is...... use a condom and dont forget to REALX! it makes it a lot easier!
hope that helps and have fun!

Answer 7

personally, if i were you I'd wait longer.
you are still in high school and you know how people talk. and don't say no one will know. they will!
sex also brings on an additional weight on your shoulders. say you decide after a while that this guy is not for you, you will feel worse having to break up with someone you have had sex with and he will feel worse for the same reasons.
there is no rush for you do do this. so why bring on burdens that you don't need right now.

Answer 8

You're doing good and it's cool you have a realistic mom! Jut dont' over think it, let it happen spontaneously as possible - like I mean, dont' go setting a date and time to "do it" or the nerves will make it impossible! Also, since he's a virgin and has no experience, it takes a time to develop experience and "skill" in bed, so don't expect it to be fantastic... it may be kind of clumsy and weird at first. Just remember that practice makes perfect!

Answer 9

Hello I think 15 is young to be having sex for the first time but it sounds to me like you have both talked it out and you talked to your mom about it. personally I would wait untill I got married thats what i did. I would asked him to reassure you that he isn't just using you for sex and loves you and wants to stay with you cause it would sure hurt if he left you after you have sex with him so just make sure this is what you both want and make sure he wears a condom thats my advice

Answer 10

I'd wait a lot longer than you are waiting.

Although you may use protection, nothing is 100%. Do not have sex until you are ready to handle the consequences.