Having Children in marriage when there is massive age difference.?

Question

I'm going to marry a guy who is 32 years older than I, he has stated that he doesn't really desire to raise another family. He has children my age. I'm 19. I'd like to have just one child. Opinions please. I don't think 1 child is to much to ask for.

Answer 1

I would recommend having several discussions on this issue with your fiance. You aren't married yet, and this is one major difference that must be decided upon prior to any marriage.

Above all else don't push him into this marriage if he's adamant about not wanting to raise a new family. Generally men in this age group are finishing up that task and are ready to do other things in life.

Answer 2

Yup. truthfully. i'm an in undemanding terms newborn, and interior my cousins, i'm the youngest of the Grandchildren by roughly 15 years, and then the great grandchildren are approximately 15 years youthful than me, so i've got continuously been distinctly on my very own and that i actually think of it is inspired how shy and not optimistic i'm with individuals and at social/public activities. i could fairly have not got any little ones in any respect than have a unmarried newborn go through interior the comparable way. I additionally opt for close age gaps, in part because of the fact i understand my incapacity will detriorate and that i will't have the potential to have a 5 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and a newborn, i could fairly get it the very dependant care completed with earlier i'm in a wheelchair, yet additionally so my little ones may well be close friends with their siblings from a youthful age, not in undemanding terms while they are grown up, exceptionally with the different great-grandchildren all ageing now, there will be a minimum of a 5 3 hundred and sixty 5 days age hollow between the youngest of those and my eldest, till my cousins breed lower back.

Answer 3

i'm 42 and my husband is 20 years older than i am and we have an almost 5 year old..we always said if i got pregnant great,if not then that was fine..our girl was born 3 days after our 6th anniversary...if your fiancee is against children and said he does not want any then that would be a sign that her is not the man for you..what would you do,say the birth control didn't work and then have him resent the child and you...if he was more open to havng a child with you then i would see no problem but saying he doesn't want any then you really need to rethink getting married to him if you really want to have a child...and just from reading some other responses an older father does not mean no bonding with the child...my husband and daughter have a great relationship..he gets up with her every morning and gets her ready for school,walks her to and from school and if i try and help with the morning stuff i am told by my daughter that im not the morning routine person...he taughet her how to ride her bike this summer,they go grocery shopping together etc..every man is different and i am thankful i have the type that for being an older dad he truelly loves his child and is involved with her,and does do stuff with her

Answer 4

You really need to get into some serious counseling. First and foremost you need to figure out why you want to marry your father (or close enough). The age difference is much to great for your relationship to develop normally, have children, grow old together, retire together, enjoy the same activities. Guess if your not really looking for that father figure then your looking for a sugar daddy to support you while your out cheating on him with a younger guy. Give the old man a break and find someone your own age. I am sure his kids don't want a step mom who graduated from high school with them either. You are just setting yourself up for a life of trouble. If you do insist on marrying this poor guy, then grow up and stop throwing a temper tantrum like a child. If he said no children then respect him (he is your elder..........by a lot of years) and don't have any children. Don't trick him and get pregnant. If he was smart he would go and have a vasectomy before you even get married, because immature girls your age will do anything to get their own way and trap a man who doesn't deserve it.

Answer 5

Whoaa!!! YOU ARE 19??? I know you are sooo mature for your age, and like you really like know what you want- marrying someone 32 years your senior, who wants no kids??? Not being mean but ...OH MY GOD!! Do not do it! You are only at the BEGINNING of your life and he is near the- middle somewhere? He has had his career, social life, AND FAMILY/KIDS! He wants to be settled and play golf... If you go against what he wants he will resent you and probably not help with the child anyway. My friend is 35 and her husband is 55 and she had 3 kids KNOWING he didn't really want any or maybe 1 because he already had 5 with his first wife. Also he is the same age as her mum.She always liked older men cause they are more mature, settled, financially independent, e.t.c... Only now she wants to travel and he wants to play golf, she likes trendy clothes and he thinks they are foolish...I do not think AGE as such matters but more so about where 2 people are in their lives and where they both hope to be. Do not trap him into having a child- it is unfair to both of you BUT -and this is so important- it is most unfair to the innocent beautiful child...

Answer 6

I have a friend who married a woman that was his same age and he wanted a child, she didn't. They ended up divorced because she wouldn't come around.
One child isn't too much to ask for but, you need to discuss and agree on these issues before you get married. His mind won't change.
My husband acctually divorced his ex wife over the same issue. He is 14 years older than me and we now have 2 kids. But, Being a 40 year old man, he is stuck in his ways, ideas, and opinions. He wouldn't change his mind on a subject so important after all these years.
If you love him, marry him. But be willing to live with the choice you two decide upon. Good luck. :)

Answer 7

my husband is 15 years older than me (28-43) and we have a 4 year old son. I have a 7+11 year old from previous partner. I would love more but we had to think about the child's future. Your hubby will be 72 at their 21st even if you have it right now!! You need to sit down with your fiance and discuss your concerns. You might have to decide that its him or the child. Do this before you marry. try and decide which one you can live the rest of your life without. What ever you do don't force it upon him as he has every right to have just as much say in this as you...best wishes & good luck

Answer 8

If you can't come to some kind of an agreement on this, it's really a deal-breaker imo. There are going to be a lot more issues that come up in marriage.

He's in a very different stage of his life, and if he doesn't want to join you in your desire to have a child, he may not be the guy for you -- after all, a lot of things will come up for you over the years that he's btdt, and you haven't. I personally wouldn't give up having a child to marry, but I also wouldn't try to convince someone to have a child with me that didn't want one. Best wishes either way.

Answer 9

One child is too much to ask if he doesn’t want that child. Given the fact that he’s *51* and has already raised a family, I can understand him not wanting more children. If having a child is important to you, then you need to marry someone who wants to have a child with you.

Answer 10

You know his answer already. You can't change his mind-he has to want a child. If he can't offer you what you want and need, don't settle. You're young and should have all that you want in this world. A child IS a lot to ask for. Children are the most important thing in this world to me. Would you want to have a child with someone who really doesn't want it? Is that a relationship you can live with for the rest of your life? Good luck.