How can I make my manuscript better?

Question

Whenever I rewrite my manuscript, I feel like I'm just rearranging the words a little, and there's no real improvment. And whenever I read it over agian, it seems to just jump from one action sequence to another.

Any hints, tips, or websites with info?

Thanks very much.

Answer 1

If you are willing to make a trip to the library or bookstore, there's a great book specifically designed for putting the extra oomph in your already written manuscript. It's called "Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook" by Donald Maass.

Also, you could join a critique circle. There are many to choose from, and people are generally willing to help out with suggestions for improvement. You just have to clearly state the kind of help you're looking for.

I'm a member of http://www.newbie-writers.com/forum
There's also http://www.fmwriters.com
http://www.absolutewrite.com
http://www.fictionfactor.com

Those are a few that I know of. I've visited the sites. Good luck!

Answer 2

Hire an editor.

Answer 3

we are most critical of ourselves. Have friends read it over and tell you anything that needs to be punched up.

Answer 4

Novice writers think of an idea, head to the computer and type scene after scene then show it all to their friends who reply, "I love the part when the kid hit that ball and the neighbors cheered." or "That scene when the lovers embraced on the beach for the first time really got to me" or "I was enthralled when Judy learned that Greg was cheating on her -- I thought she was going to kill him!". But then they say, "there's something missing, though...the beginning, middle, and end." A story shouldn't be a pastiche of scenes. Instead, all scenes dramatize your controlling idea where each character is intricately designed around it.

I think you may have encountered this which is why you're having problems with your manuscript.

Stories are a metaphore for life. Before you even begin to write you must have something to say or else your characters go from scene to scene without any meaning like in the examples above. There are three things that I believe are important and these three things are often confused with each other:

1) Premise
2) Setting
3) Theme

Let me illustrate the difference so you can easily find the theme and understand its difference from the setting and premise. By seeing how a writer creates stories, you can see it from his or her point of view and clearly find the theme, create a premise and setting and learn to do it yourself.

The controlling idea is the meaning of your story. It is another word for "theme". The premise is what happens. The setting is the place and time where it's set.

For example, when you ask someone who just watched or read "Lord of the Rings" what it's about, they'll probably say something like, "it's an epic story about a hobbit who is given a huge responsibility to take a magical ring into a mountain to destroy it and save the world and elves and men unite to....etc.." Or they may answer "It's about Middle Earth". These are not themes. The first is simply the premise. The latter is the setting. What the story is *really* about is: "Freedom is attained when we risk and sacrifice ourselves." That is the controlling idea (the theme) of the story. Of course, we can debate if that is the true controlling idea but I'm only giving you my interpretation.

Harry Potter's premise contains magic, and the setting is in a fantasy land, but the theme is not about magic nor fantasy. The theme of Harry Potter might be: "Happiness prevails when we are confident of our own gifts and individuality." Discuss. =)

Now you can apply this understanding as I'll explain below with a story to any story you read.

First, I'll explain the premise. This way you'll see the difference.

A writer finds a premise through research and asking "what if" for any situation. If you read the news, one can find many ideas if you simply ask yourself "what if" as you read through it.

For example, I randomly selected a news article on Yahoo News:
Survivors recall horror of flu pandemic

As I'm reading through each line, I'm thinking about story ideas and asking "what if". For example, I read this line:

>> The flu swept through the nation's capital, which had attracted thousands of soldiers and war workers.

Now I'm asking myself, 'what if someone built a virus and orchestrated a large event so they could infect everyone in it to inflict the most damage?'

That's a start, but sounds a bit cliche, but that's okay. Let your mind race and you'll then ask "what if" upon "what if". What if the person accidently released the virus and kept silent while everyone around them died? What if the event was organized by a force where people are called to gather in one location but everyone made excuses for going there without realizing they were being forced -- only a supernatural force could do that -- and the reason is the supernatural force wanted to end the human race? hehe...this gets into some horror or science-fiction if that's your bag. But you can see the magic "what if" at work.

Let's choose the supernatural 'what if' as the premise in this example. Now we're going to start thinking of the controlling idea. This is what is the heart of your story -- the story you need to tell and what the story is *truly* about.

The controlling idea is not a single word; it's not going to be about "viruses" nor "aliens" nor "Civil War". The Controlling Idea tells us, "life is like this!"

The controlling idea will be a sentence that tells us how and why life changes from one condition of existence to another (again, theme and controlling idea are the same -- I prefer to use controlling idea). This change will show up in the climax of the last act of your story. That's where you will find the controlling idea.

Concerning how I came up with Harry Potter's controlling idea, I looked at the last acts' endings of every Harry Potter story. What value changed? Harry went from being unconfident to confident and therefore was happy whereas each story opens with him in a situation and the world crumbling around him and constantly being challenged. Look at the last act's value change.

Fine writers filter everything they write through the controlling idea and then work up to the last climax -- look at the value that exists throughout the story because there will be themes that come and go. For example in Harry Potter he often seeks to befriend those who try to do him harm so we learn that "Trust is earned when we love our enemy" -- or because that didn't always work we could say, "Evil prevails when we try to love our enemies" but either of these is not the controlling idea of the entire story.

Going back to my story, by following the writer's work and using the premise that people are being supernaturally led to gather in one location, we need to come up with a protagonist. I'm going to use a "what if" and ask 'what if the protagonist is also under this supernatural spell?' That will make it more interesting because it will provide deeper conflict. Not only will he have to try to save the world but also get out the spell himself perhaps.

Some more questions I will ask myself and we're going to come to the controlling idea of the story I created: What is this spell? What is so attractive to force these people to gather without them even knowing they're being forced? Now this is starting to get rich. We know a lot of people do things they don't want because they're manipulated. Cults are famous for doing this. Charismatic leaders and propaganda are also effective. People are manipulated in many ways that many fail to see they're being manipulated. And those who best manipulate do it without you knowing. Life is like that! Now I'm starting to find my controlling idea.

My controlling idea is a sentence, it's not simply "manipulation". So, I start with something -- it's better than nothing: "Evil prevails when we fail to examine our conscious and instead follow others" or "Compassion prevails in humans only when we follow our conscious". Whichever we choose, it must be clear in the last-climax of the last act of your story.

As a writer develops the story, they work to that last act. Many writers paste that controlling idea onto the computer monitor and filter everything they write through it. Your characters may go in different directions, but this controlling idea is the writer's guide.

Concerning the setting, you can place this story in a different dimension, in a different time, or on a different planet. That will change the dynamics of the story but it won't change the controlling idea and that is where the power of the story exists -- it gives it meaning.

For the setting let's place this premise 50 years into the future on Earth.

The character will have an object of desire. In the premise that I've created, the supernatural force is manipulating people to gather in one location so it can infect them with a virus. Because I think this force is intelligent and sly, it's not going to be identical for every peson and is going to feed on the weakness of every individual. I think the best object of desire for the protagonist is going to be his pursuit of power within his sphere of influence. So, let's say he's an oceanographer (I pulled that out of nowhere). He would become famous and influential if he made an important discovery -- perhaps a discovery that can save lives such as tsumani detection technology (but in 50 years in the future we could make a more futuristic device). This is what he wants -- power. The force provides him the opportunity to seek this object and eventually he's going to have to go to this one location where the force intends to infect him. Now we have a lot more what ifs' to ask. As you can see, we're starting a great outline of the story and fleshing it out.

But we need to get back to the controlling idea.

I like up-endings so I want him to become redeemed in the end. I think his pride is too great and his pursuit of power is evil. His idea of saving lives is a great idea, but his reasoning is not -- he's doing it to gain influence for himself, not to help people -- this makes him conflicted and provides excellent dimension to his character. This force is going to manipulate his desire. But I am also going to add a subconscious desire to this. I want it so that he really doesn't want power...he simply doesn't recognize that the work he does already helps to save lives by adding to the research of others who are trying to find effective tsunami detection devices. He'll end up realizing this in the end. And this matches my controlling idea: "Evil prevails when we fail to examine our conscious and instead follow others." His pursuit of power only leads him into trouble as he follows others in trying to please them. But we still have to deal with this supernatural force that is manipulating everyone. Do we make our protagonist one who defeats the force, or do we make him lose by it. Either way, we must know the controlling idea clearly at the end of the last climax no matter what he does.

Although I went off in a science-fiction direction, the controlling idea I discovered can exist in any genre and any setting whether this is based during the time of the Civil War, the present, or on Mars.

Although I wrote a lot, I hope leading you through the writer's process will help you to see clearer how stories are developed and make it easier to find the theme and your premise and then things will begin to fall into place.