If I know for sure my wife is guilty without a doubt of audultry, how do I approach her and keep a level head.

Answer 1

Take her out to dinner and confront her in public. Neither one of you will scream and yell, and you will be able to discuss it rationally.

Answer 2

Keep a level head by being prepared. Get ALL your evidence together. Before you confront her, First and always First on the list is protect your finances, This may sound over the top but the first thing that happens in most break ups, the bank account gets drained, stocks get sold off, even the car could be wholesaled to a dealer for fast cash and they are gone with the money before you can blink an eye and no where to be found. Before you hint that you know something, protect your assets, credit cards (if they are joint) Open new credit card accounts in your name only, open new bank accounts in your name only. NEVER talk to her without a wittness, Never go anywhere alone, you will need a wittness for everything said and done. If you want to confront her, take a male friend, make sure you have all your evidence copied so what you do have can not be destroyed. whether its phone messages, photo's or video cam recorder or eye witness accounts, make back up copies and leave them in a safe place. Then find yourself a shark of an attorney. I sure hope there are no kids involved. Best of Luck!

Answer 3

Well I respect the very idea that you care enough about keeping a level head. I think that if you are certain that this is happening, you should seek out a professional counselor that will give you sound advice and be supportive of your situation. What a difficult situation you are facing, you dont have to lower yourself to a strong confrontational reaction, which you have every right to feel like doing. But what is the right way to do this and the best way? I commend you for asking , and hope that you will get some professional direction in how to handle this. If money is an issue, try services that offer free help, your local church maybe ect. Well I wish you good luck, and Im sorry for your difficult situation. Hang in there and make right choices, for your own sake.

Answer 4

Wow...first make sure you have all your facts, video, audio, photograph or some proof which is true beyond any doubt whatsoever.

This is a very effective method, wine her, and dine her and show her the evidence right there.
Do not be out of the ordinary or else she would smell the rat.

There are a thousand questions to ask yourself too. Are you going to forgive her? Was it a one time affair? How long has it been going on ? Is it more than one person? Is this the first time?

When you know the answers to these questions you may be guided.

There is no perfect answer to this ticky situation. Factors to take into consideration includes her personality.Is she someone who is argumentive, quiet orquick tempered...

You see what I am saying.

Get your facts correct and prepare yourself.
http://www.affiliatehood.com/cheating-spouse.html

Answer 5

Well at least you're considering keeping a level head and how you will approach her. Don't listen to all these crazy people about being violent with her. Go see a lawyer and tell them the situation and ask for advice as to how to proceed. Sorry to hear about the awful situation. You might want to consider staying at a relative's for the time-being. For a lot of people it would hurt to stay in the same bed. Get rid of any weapons that you might have access to.

I can't believe the guy who said to ask her what it is about you that led her to stray. It's not your fault. If she wanted to stray, then she should wait until your relationship is over, then go for something else. People who cheat are people who cheat. It has little to do with their partner. You might want to try this out too: thework.com

Answer 6

Very good! Determining to keep a level head is the first step :) You're on the right track.

Secondly, organize your thoughts. How are you going to say it? If you want to keep calm and relatively cool, your thoughts MUST be organized, not jumbled. Jumbled thoughts produce jumbled words and jumbled emotions, and jumbled emotions can produce stress which can in turn produce confusion and THAT can produce yelling and so on and so on.

Thirdly, I myself wouldn't recommend confronting her in a public place--the embarrassment factor could possibly be astronomical. Yes, you're both less likely to create a scene, but at the same time, it isn't something you want someone else, even a total stranger, to overhear is it?

And last but not least, be sure to hear her out. Don't confront her and do all the talking. You speak your piece, she speaks hers. It's up to you what to do from there.

I wish you luck and I hope this helps. :)

Answer 7

In a divorce it does not matter what either side did. What matters is who files first. If you confront her she will be sorry for what she did. Sorry for as long as it takes to get to a lawyer and file for divorce first on grounds of whatever she wants to make up. Your proof of adultery will mean absolutely nothing then. Go to a lawyer and file for divorce, take her for everything you possibly can the kids the house every ting leave her with nothing or you will be paying for this the rest of your life. Time is of the essence here. DO NOT DELAY if you really do have proof and do not let her know. Let no one and I mean absolutely no one know except your lawyer.

Answer 8

This is a very difficult question as emotions are raging (anger, disbelief, pain, disappointment, betrayal, sense of loss). I don't know if this is doable.

The only thing I can suggest is that you sit her down and tell her that you know she has been unfaithful and ask her why she has devalued you and your marriage in this way? What were her reasons for doing so? This will give you some insight as to whether or not a marriage counsellor can help you both, or if you need to go your separate ways.

If you have children, please have this discussion with them at a relatives for an overnight, as you do not wish to subject them to what will most assuredly result in yelling and name calling. It isn't an easy thing to do or go through. I wish you strength and luck in this most difficult time.

Answer 9

Well this is how I found out my boyfriend/fiance cheated on me. I really wasn't 100% sure if he cheated but, I have always had this feeling.We were having an argument and I said in a very calm tone but ,sounded hurt and I said "Brad, I keep trying to push it out of my head and not think about it. I can't do it anymore though. I already KNOW you have cheated. I need to hear it from you. You need to let me know what happened or else I am out I can't do it anymore." He gave me a clue that he wanted to talk , but it was still hard for him to just say it. So after trying to get it out of him for like 30 minutes and he still wouldn't say it I finally just stood up and said "okay" . "You can't be honest, Brad I already know and you still can't tell me. I'm done. " I walked out of the room and he finally broke down and told me. He cheated on me with two girls and my sister.

Answer 10

I think talk to a lawyer and keep on track w/yourself. Guys get angered if the other guy makes more money all that. But the more ahead of her you r the more u are in the lead. Use being in the lead to ur advantage than when u got her where u want her....Go to a parking lot large area put ur hood up call her tell her u r broke down... then u got her where you want her!!!

Answer 11

Ask her if it is true. What evidence do you have? Is it incontrovertible? It is hearsay? If it is the word of a friend, then I would suggest asking her for the truth. If it is a time coded DVD of her doing the deed, then I would still ask her why.

Love is too precious to throw away on assumptions...even if you are SURE of those assumptions.
Give her the chance to tell you the truth before you think the worst.

Good luck, friend.